*raises glass*

I'm having a real life anniversary today. That is, a celebration of some number of whole years since a particular important incident occurred, as opposed to say.. a 2 week anniversary which is a logical impossibility and does not exist!

Just under 3 years ago exactly was the first time I met with my gentleman friend Erik, for the first time in real life, after knowing each other exclusively online for a while, at the horse statue.

We then wandered on to the inaugural dinner, at U Medvidku, a charming spot which I've been to many a time over the years, but which has since been given a special place in my heart since this aforementioned event.. and subsequently one which we are revisiting this evening. And revisited a year ago.. and the year before that...

and we'll have beer, perhaps some cheese though perhaps not this evening as one half of the partnership has recently become sorta vegan, but that's ok, we'll have beer, and we'll be dorks.. and then we'll have some dinner somewhere else...

I'm not expecting to go on a wild goose chase afterwards.. like the original meeting.. we didn't catch any geese that night, probably because they're don't seem to be too many in Žižkov, where we were, but we didn't find that bar either.. we did find another one though.. I mean, there's always some bar.. who knows. Maybe we'll chase some nonexistent geese, or maybe not, but I wouldn't be adverse to some kind of shenanigans occuring, it seems like the night for it.

Except for the fact that the water heater dude is coming early tomorrow to finally replace our old and barely functioning one after a few aborted attempts.. but that's relatively unimportant.

tenth o' the tenth o' the tenth..

It's a very exciting day for those of us who make a big deal about arbitrary dates where the numbers line up in a seemingly meaningful manner, ie nerds who make a big deal about.. etc etc etc. Ie, people that are not limited to, but include people like me.

I began this historic day by looking at my phone about 8:46, hoping I wouldn't miss 10 minutes past 10.. and luckily I was awake when the 10:10 10-10-10 appeared at the bottom of the phone. It was an exciting moment.

But it wasn't a lazy Sunday for me, no, not for us hard working thespian types... I had a reading in the morning, well at 2pm which is close enough to morning as far as I'm concerned, for the film I'm in. Still at the "reading" stage, and the might need new people stage, but we'll see. I walked up the hill to meet people just to wait for them, so we can wait for more people to show up who didn't come, and then go down the hill to the place we were doing the reading. Luckily I live around this area because we needed to go to #64 of the street the meeting spot was on, and you kind of have to be familiar with the area to know that when you get to the fork in the road, the bit that looks like it turns off is the same street, and the bit that keeps going straight is another street, or they'd have been real confused, as that other street doesn't have a #64.

We did the reading. Had to read multiple part due to the non presence of 2 actors, but what can you do. After that I came home, and after a short reprieve went back out to do my 10/10/10, 17:30 steps project sp. It's something I do.

Then I needed to meet someone at the top of the steps, who was late, and kept me a while by telling me stuff he's going to repeat at least 4 times when he comes here tomorrow morning. Went back down the steps, met one of the tea house cats who kept me still longer by moving about too much and not posing for a photo properly. The nerve!

Then I went to "rehearsal" which is, meeting someone from class in a nearby park and talking at each other in the Meisner fashion. It was ok, I was distracted but it's practice and I need practice. We did behave like 3 year olds for a portion of it, which is a way of doing it right, so I think we get some points for that.

And now I'm home. It's quite cold outside, despite the sunniness of earlier on, it's autumn proper and the trees are giving us a golden performance of.. ok I'll shut up now.

Should I, should I or should I?

I never know whether I should do these things. I mean.. I know I should, but then again, is there a point, should I bother, will it more hinder than help me? I go over and over and debate it in my mind, and the temptation to go the lazy route is extremely strong with me, so any push in the "don't do anything" direction usually spells an end to any chance the thing had.

I really really don't want to end up not doing for a measly reason like the printer wouldn't work because I can't install the driver because this comp doesn't have a cd drive and getting it online is impossible well not impossible but making it work seems well nigh impossible and can't get it sorted out because I'm out so much going to class and "rehearsing" during the times I could use the other comp to get the cd stuff onto a usb thingy... and therefore can't print out the monologue I need to learn which makes it difficult although not impossible and to be honest not all that difficult to do it..

I mean that would be a really poor excuse wouldn't it? And I'd quite like the printer to work in general, really. I also need to print out a resume for this thing, and ideally should have a head shot which I don't have but it probably wouldn't matter all that much.

I'll see.

More and more things..

I'm being overwhelmed by things. These things are things I should do.. well, it would behoove me to do them, whatever that means. One of the things I should do just for practice because I haven't a chance in hell of getting the job for it, but I really should do it. Or maybe I shouldn't.

The other I should do, and it doesn't cost all that much, for once, but I don't know. It will get in the way of other things I'm doing and as the following weekend I'm planning a trip away, and that will be the time it starts getting more involved and then there's the Meisner stuff which I'm so not getting still and needs tons and tons of rehearsals!

I might do some of them. Or one of them. I'll see.

Rehearsing, reading, repeating.

I was a bit naughty last night and got a wee bit drunk before my "rehearsal" last night, and continued to get more so during. We call it rehearsal but it might more accurately be called practice, because, well it's practice of the stuff we do, which is talk at each other and repeat. I could explain it more but I won't. Anyway this guy wanted to rehearse in the evening, so invited us over and I thought it would be 7 or 8.. a good time to get work done, and then afterwards you go for a drink etc etc.

Well.. after trying to pin down the right time and get his address all day I found out it's at 9:00 and arranged to meet some class members on a corner somewhere because people are allergic to giving out addresses to places you want them to go, it seems.

So Erik had this thing on, which involved drinking in a pub, and as it worked out for me to go along for a bit I went along for a bit, and downed 2 and a half beers in an hour and a half, or something.

I went to the corner, of course no one's there, and it's one of those corners where you're not sure you're on the right corner or not, but after a while one of them showed up,, saying the other one was late, and he's the one who knows where to go, but she had a map thingy so we found it, right on that street and then we had to figure out how to get in, so she had to call the other guy to get this guy's number

Well anyway after a bit of time all four, the total who bothered showing up were there and in between a lot of talking and drinking beers we did a bit of rehearsal. I don't know if it helped or hindered or made no difference to do it drunk. I think I had even more trouble focusing, but hey, like I said, he wanted to do it at 9pm so...

Thankfully today I woke up with a headache and no more because I had a reading for the other thing I'm doing, the film. Still no final script but we're getting there, hopefully by next time we'll be reading the actual script so it'll be rehearsing, which will make all this confusing. I can't wait to get to the actual filming bit of things..

Tomorrow there's another rehearsal, ie practice for the Meisner thing, and it's the afternoon so I might be able to show up non blotto... although they keep changing the time and making it earlier which makes it less likely that I'll bother to get my lazy ass out of bed for it. And that's it.

Looks like I'm all alone again.

Just as we move into the particularly dark gloomy days when we all need at least the merest hint that someone, somewhere out there is listening, and cares.

Oh well whatever.. we're all alone in the end, they say. Some of them anyway, or at least one of them. It might be bullshit because they (and quite possibly that particular one) talk a lot of bullshit, but then again.

I'll keep writing and posting dorky photos away though, at least for a while. If for no one but myself.

*slides back into shell*

*sighs* might as well give it a try..

Caption this, if you'd like, and if you're in fact even there.

*crosses off item on list*

I made someone cry yesterday, and I didn't even care.

Really I didn't, not very much, not as much as I have. I was affected somewhat by being called a monster, and having someone who appears to be a sweet person afraid of me.. but mostly confusion on how I could have that affect, perhaps a little upset about it but..

Ok so it wasn't a real life situation, not really, it was class, the Meisner thing, the thing I do that I'm having so much trouble with. Last night's class was going well, for a bit.. I thought I was getting into it more than I have so far this time round.. and despite the negative mood during the exercise, which did affect me, a little bit, I was also kind of pleased that I was generating this kind of response, and responding.. which means I was thinking, and focusing on myself which you're not supposed to do but we're talking about me here.. and what happened was progress, I think.. I thought, at least a tiny little bit.

After the monster thing.. which came before the crying thing (slightly in my defense) I was thinking (there I go again) that I should be really upset about this.. and feel more caring towards this innocent young girl who really was upset at me just saying this shit.. but I didn't, I was just in the exercise and I just didn't care.. that much. I felt I should care more, but I wasn't going to fake it, there would be no point. I thought if I at least honestly portrayed how I felt. ie er sorry but I seriously truly am not really affected by this.. it would be at least something..

Like I said.. tiny tiny progress for someone who really doesn't get this shit.. not a huge thing, but I felt slightly good about it due to that. Then I got the talk.. and it was the same old thing.. I'm holding back, and apparently during the few parts I genuinely felt something and expressed it I was pushing it. Something like that. Meanwhile I made her cry.. she cared enough, in the middle of standing in class looking at someone and saying stuff to do that, for real. And other people have had similarly genuine experiences too.. of course it's hard for everyone, but being able to really care in the middle of it.. is well.. it's the whole point, you can't do that, you're fucked. Pretty much.

And yeah.. I know, not everyone gets it the same way, not everyone progresses at the same level, and has different obstacles to overcome but.. I DID THIS SHIT FOR A YEAR ALREADY! For a fucking year. And I've been going to classes for 2 weeks now.. you think it would have awoken something that was already there amongst everything I did but no, nothing, people who've done this like 5 times are already well ahead of me.

I think I mentioned all this before.. oh well.