They ate more…why should I pay?

OP are you Lexie?

/agree

Or as Bossy said, and this is what I do.

I put money out first before anyone. Enough out for what I ate. Nothing more. Nothing less, they have no grounds to come back at me then and they can already see how much is owed and left over, which they can then split between them evenly or unevenly as they like.

I once went out with some friends and had a good time , we laughed alot .  It was pretty bright so we put our sunglasses on , we then smiled for my friends camera .  We took off our sunglasses because it started to rain , then we headed inside for some ice cream .  I noticed a cute girl so I gave her a wink , she smiled back licking her lips , I blushed .  She came up and asked if she could put her sexy lips on my cocktail sausage , my eyes popped out of my head .  She assumed the position , then put her sunglasses on .  My reactive expression looked like hers , she then laughed at the size of my sausage , which made me feel really sick .

Take that truth teller, I used heaps more emoticons then you, bloody amateur.

Captain idiot face...You are really annoying. It would be great if you never posted on this website ever again.

I am very much in agreeance. Friends are usually the source of much angst and frustration. When really, most of the time we are causing ourselves the issue coz we dont stand up to them. Suck it up princess and pay half the bill or say something.
As for HATING society? Perhaps a lil bit harsh. But i see your point of view.

That’s nice BigBadWolf.   I on the other hand have done none of what you have just mentioned there and never will. 

Intimacy is something that should be between those in love. Not some random strangers. In my opinion, people shouldn’t even kiss unless they’re in a relationship. Nobody wants to be sweet X,Y,Z and never been kissed, hence why kissing means nothing. No passion, no romance, nothing. I can’t say from experience, but, to me you should only do that stuff in a relationship and not with everyone, anyone and Tom Dick and Harry. 

Bullies. Leave the kid and his emoticons alone. Scroll past it if you hate it. Seriously.

LOL BBW - that was so funny - thanks for the lunch time chuckle!

Captain TT - Fuck Off

Really Truth Teller?  You’ve never eaten ice cream? 

Shame on you.

Ok this is a long time overdue,

Im going to endeavour to ignore this moron from now on.

IF i DONT respond to captain toilet troll, Its implied that he is a “noob” to put it simply and i wish death and all the badness the world has to offer upon him.

LET IT BE KNOWN.

I was stung a couple of times like this when I was younger didn’t have much cash. I remember going to a dinner with friends who were quite well off, and my boyfriend and I chose an inexpensive meal and drank water while the others had wine, entrees, the whole lot. When the bill came, one of the wine drinkers picked it up, announced the total, divided it by the people and said that was what we all had to pay. I didn’t have enough...it was embarrassing and upsetting and I vowed never to do that again.

Now that I’m older and a bit more sure of myself, I don’t let that happen. If someone suggests bill splitting, I just say “OK, but I didn’t have any wine...I’d prefer we pay for our own drinks” or even just “I’d prefer not to split it”. My friends are happy enough to just pay for their own meals. A couple of times someone has given me a bit of a look (usually the one who had the expensive meal and alcohol) but that’s OK.

It’s not a question of being cheap or a ‘bad friend’. People often go to restaurants and order food that they can afford; they might have liked the more expensive dish or wine, but be having a short week. You should be able to pay for the dish you selected.

Omg, you Aussies are so funny!

You never fail to crack me up with your humour. 

I like Cap TT, all the reactions to his posts are so firey, which say more about the responder anyway!

Take a chill pill and don’t read them if you don’t like what he says. This is a public domain you know....

@BroG, I’m not a troll.

I find it quite sad that you’re no longer going to talk to me.  Yourself and Dr. Opkick have been my favorite posters.  I will miss you and your insight dearly. I actually dropped a subliminal hint for you in the previous text, I guess you missed it. 

@BigBadWolf, I have, but never with anyone.

@Bossy Readers.
I know that a minority don’t like me posting here. I know that a minority want me to run away. Run away, and never return.

However, I believe you’re forgetting that we’re surrounded by people that we don’t like every single day. How we deal with those that we don’t like defines our character and shows the world what kind of person we truly are. It’s fine if you don’t like me, but, some posters attitudes clearly show what sort of person they are. Don’t give the but this is online rubbish either. This being online makes it easier for you to share your disgusting personalities with the world without fear of any repercussions or consequences.

Remember that, yes, the past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it, or learn from it. 

Almost as bad as News.com’s constant page refreshes

Well.. that explains it all.

Captain truth teller hates society and has no friends as they are constant source of disappointment.. HOWEVER..
You crave the attention of others and wish you did have friends so much that you will even take negative attention.. hence why you’re still posting on this blog when everyone’s already told you to F-off.

Just ignore him people.. or you’re just giving him what he wants and he’ll keep coming back for more.. sigh…

regards,
Ashamed to be a Gen-Y

Remember that, yes, the past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it, or learn from it.

Yes CTT, I agree with your basic argument. But you aren’t learning if you a) contradict your arguments continually b) spend all your time in front of a computer screen c) become a self-imposed recluse because you ‘supposedly’ don’t like people or d) dislike anything new or different (ie moving to another country or even basic social interactions). That is hardly learning or expanding your mind - on the contrary, that is wallowing in a narrow-minded existence of your own making. I hope you find help.

Captain Truth Teller, I’ll be your friend.  People suck!

But regarding the topic, I stopped eating out with some friends because they would put in to the very dollar. Just round up to the nearest 5 or 10.  Who cares??  Having said that, Ripped off, your friends are tight asses and inconsiderate.  I’d stop going out with them.

These emoticons are bloody funny

Splitting the bill evenly is OK if you are sharing food eg, chinese or thai. But if you are ordering meals and drink then you should only have to pay for yourself.

When I’m dining out with friends and the bill turns up, I’m quite happy to tell them that I’m only paying for what I had. I also don’t drink so can’t understand why I should pay for someone else alcohol consumption.

If you are on a budget, just tell your friends up front when you get to the restaurant that money’s a bit tight this week and that you would prefer to pay for yourself.

Unless you are a squillionaire, there is no reason why you should have to pay for others.

BigBadWoof

You had me laughing so hard I nearly choked on my coffee.  Well done!

Sorry CTT but BigBadWolf has taken the title of EmotiKing.

Don’t listen to the Haters apparently they cant even use a scroll down key.

@haters
CTT has a negative outlook towards people, so you bully and belittle him showering him in negativity. Well aren’t you kind souls.  showing him that he is wrong and people can be nice.

CTT - I’ll hand it to you. You’re original even if you sound like you have a few kangaroos loose in the top paddock.

Personally I enjoy your posts. Or maybe it’s the reaction you get.  Keep it up

Hey Captain,why are u this aggressive in your comments.people ask these questions to get some useful answer,u cant just tell the off.what a great help.
OP.next time when you going out if u always go out with the same group teach them a lesson .get the most expensive drink and food and even waste some of it.
but if you have this problem with every one not just a specific group then may be next time once the bill comes up just suggest that every one might just need to pay for their share.so in this case u need to speek up.

I love to try out new recipes before the holidays. That way if the cookbook has it wrong, I can fix it.

CTT, I enjoy the reactions you get from others, if this wasn’t online no one would say a thing but meh. You use emoticons, big deal. Some of your comments are a bit extreme sometimes but I don’t have a problem.

In regards to the OP, if I know we are going to a restuarant I only agree to attend If I have enough money to potentially cover the split bill cost. Although if I can help it I wll try and pay for myself but if I have money I’m usually generous. Oh, and if there is a girl I like thats with us I splash my money on the table or I don’t whinge

I did that last one on a date once

I’ve had this happen too in the past, but now when out with friends I take the bull by the horns and just make sure everyone agrees we pay for what we order BEFORE the food is ordered. If we order something to share (eg garlic bread) we just agree to all put in some.

No need to count cents when you can leave a tip so just approximate to the nearest dollar then add another couple to be sure. As usually the poorer of our friends this has always worked and no one takes offence. If they do, they might not be very good friends!!

I agree Shane, OP just bloody shut up and enjoy your friends company!!!

Shane I dont think she was adding every cent, her friend ate almost $90 worth of food and drinks to herself and wanted the OP to chip in an extra $30 towards the bill for something she didnt even have?

No one complains about having to chip in an extra $5 - $10 more than they are supposed to, but $30 more? Come on! The odd occasion is fine, but sounds like this is happening all the time.

You are of course joking. Why should she subsidise Miss Piggyguts gorging herself? WTF? Why anyone would even have such a greedy porcine friend is beyond me. She probably takes up half the seats on either side of her in a plane and expects people to put up with it too. The solution is simple: if you must go out with alcoholics and binge eaters, establish the rules of payment first. But better still, make some decent, civilised, slim and sober friends.

Awesome Shane!

I’d like for us to go out to dinner together. I’m little but I can eat a whole lot, especially if someone else is going to pay for half of my meal.

Your shout. You generous soul you.

I beg to differ, Shane.

If her friend had 2(!) main dishes (which is too much for any normal person, safe perhaps a male teenager), starter and what not and she only had 1 main dish and that was it, they shouldn’t have to pay for the other person’s extra cost unless they clearly invited the other one first.

I agree, adding up to the cent is a pain but you can roughly remember how much your dish was and how much you need to put in. Having other people foot the bill for your overeating isn’t right.

Mistress D, I always pay when I go to dinner.

So put your money where your mouth is girl!

I don’t agree at all!
People should pay for what they order - simple as that.  Why should someone else pay for you when you choose to get the most expensive item on the menu plus extras?? 
In these situations I calculate how much what I ordered cost + about $5-10 for the tip.  I then put the exact cash on top of the bill when it comes and leave it at that.  I always make sure I have enough cash when I go out for dinner, and have never had any issues at all. I certainly have no interest in paying for my friends food or drinks - and they would never expect it.

I think you are probably the tight ass. I could just see you changing your choice dependant on the paying arrangements. You probably drink beer if you are paying, but at the weddings you would go the top shelf stuff. You would also go the lobster if someone else was subsidising it.

It maybe legistical difficult splitting the bill according to consumption but you sound like OPs friends. There to rip of your friends with a smile on your face.

WTF is it with tight-asses, how do they somehow always manage to turn it around to make other people look bad? Her friend eats more than double, under pays by a third but somehow the OP is a tightwad?

I bet you borrow money and then accuse people of being a tight-ass when they ask for it back.

Get some better friends OP.

Awwww shucks Shane, just when I became unavailable for dinner dates. Damn the luck, eh?

Though it is good to see a guy willing to at least pay half at dinner. I dated one guy who thought taking me to the place where the food was, was his end of the deal done. The folly of youth.

Shane dude, chill. Are you on the rag or something? 

I’m with you Shane.  I bet if this bloke/girl goes to a party or a barbie he/she will keep a running tally of who drinks what of her wine/stubbies that he/she has bought, and will be the type of person who takes any unopened beverage home!

Shutup Shane. I think her concern is definitely warranted. Her friends are being stingy. They should be more considerate.

My friends and I usually split the bill equally because there isn’t that much of a difference in what we order, but if one person orders significantly more or less than the average then they would naturally pay a bit less/extra. It isn’t ever an issue, and no one has to ask for this to occur, it just happens.

I find that if everyone has a generous outlook on these things then it will always work out, however if you have one stingy friend then you could be taken advantage of.

I think expecting you to pay $30 extra for their extra main (who the hell eats that much?) is going too far, and is inconsiderate.

I wouldn’t make a fuss about it because it could make you appear a bit stingy yourself (even though it is fair enough), I would just do what Bossy said and only eat at places where you pay first, or cheap places, or with friends who wouldn’t do that.

That’s a bit harsh, @Shane of Sydney. There’s a big difference between adding up to the last cent and having to subsidise someone else’s overindulgence. I enjoy a few wines when I go out to dinner so I’m always very careful to make sure the non-drinking friends aren’t picking up the tab for that. Also, if I have an entree or dessert, I make sure I cover that too. I don’t expect anyone else to pay for it. Perhaps you enjoy freeloading off your friends, but some of us have a bit more consideration.

Bullshit Shane, everyone at the table knows the score. There’s always going to be a sucker that subsidises everyone else.  Long ago I learned the rules of the game:

- Know your company.  If they eat, drink more than you state the rules of engagement up front, before ordering.
If they eat/drink less than you, say nothing, order big, enjoy.

- If they are big into wine and like to order expensive bottles.  DON’T DRINK IT. Bill splitting excludes any excessive costs over and above what the rest of the table ate or drank.  Throw money onto the table that EXCEEDS by $5/$10 what you ate/drank and just let the rest sort it out. That way you seem generous but not a patsy.

- Bill splitting should be reserved for groups of 3 or more.  Under no circumstances can two people bill split if the amounts consumed are grossly disproportionate.  The whole point of bill splitting is because it’s too hard to calculate what each person consumed, if you can’t do that to round numbers between two people you have arithmetic issues.

- Dine out with Girls or vegetarians in large groups.  Bill Split.  Enjoy.  The larger the group the more you’ll get away with, just don’t draw too much attention to yourself.

There’s nothing worse than scabby buggers like you adding upo to the cent when out to dinner. 

Yes there is. There’s scabby buggers who go out to dinner and order the expensive half of the menu, knowing they’ll only pay half price or less for their splurge because people like the OP will feel obliged to foot the rest of the bill.

As a vegetarian and (once upon a time) a non-drinker, I used to get this a lot. I’d go out with friends and order the only veggie main course for $18 and a $3 soft drink. They’d order the $32 lobster or surf’n’turf, a couple of beers, the chicken nibblies for an entree and the dessert. I just got used to putting in my $25 or so and letting them pay their $50. If anyone complained I’d point at the bill and remind them that my contribution already included a tip.

JUST EAT AT MACCAS!!

Shane you angry bogan you.  I bet you don’t play with yourself either, cos even you wouldn’t want to be romantic with a tight-arsed loner with poor math skills and a dick for a head.  I hardly think that all those nights you spend at sizzler entitle you to speak about restaurant ettiquite.  Perhaps once equal opportunity arrangements become more widespread even you will be able to get a job and then you won’t have to rely on people whose parents WEREN’T related to buy your dinner.  Say hi to your sister and go play banjo ya doofus.

Shane
You are obviously one of those people who eat more than others without giving a thought to those who have a smaller gut and don’t need to bludge from others to fill it.  There is a definition called “dining etiquette” YES and another called “principle” and on principle some people ensure that they take just enough money with them to pay for their own meal and a small tip, not extra to pay for the greedy guts at the table who won’t go out and eat alone, simply because he’s too stingy to pay for the extra he eats.  Get a life mate or leave the country and go eat in a country that serves food in a trough1

At your side my lady. 

I think he’s been having a tug in the bath.

talking is something that should be between those in love. Not some random strangers. In my opinion, people shouldn’t even talk unless they’re in a relationship. Nobody wants to be sweet X,Y,Z and never been talked to, hence why talking means nothing. No passion, no romance, nothing. I can’t say from experience, but, to me you should only do that stuff in a relationship and not with everyone, anyone and Tom Dick and Harry. 

Lollies indeed.

I’m with Chips, TWO main meals?? I rarely manage to finish ONE - without any starters!!

OP your mate sounds like a pig. Seriously oinkage....

I agree with Bossy too, speak up. If you can ‘order and pay’ then do that, or leave early - or just wear it. Otherwise why bother going at all? They dont sound like they have any respect for you anyway. 

+1

Or perhaps plus several.  Mind you, if this gargantuan gorger does this regularly, perhaps find different dining companions?

The friend should have to pay for an even bigger share than $90 because while she was stuffing her gob the OP had to keep up the conversation…

But hang on the OP is obviously a bit of a whinger so maybe the friend was actually drinking heavily to lessen the pain of having to listen to the OP whine. In fact the friend probably had a few shots before dinner as well to fortify themselves for the coming onslaught!

The food must have been a last ditch attempt to soak up ther extra alcohol, or maybe they were deliberately trying to throw up and use that as an excuse to get away early…

a question… is it possible that the friend ordered ‘mains plus rice’ -thus two ‘main meals’ - as is common when you go to Thai, Chinese etc?
yes it is still a hell of a lot of food, but.. perhaps this might explain it.

curry plus rice, is different to ordering a steak plus another steak!

Mmmm… Steak plus another Steak!

I think it depends on your friends.

I don’t normally split the bill with friends - I don’t mind tossing in some extra, or shouting them occasionally, but if it’s a genuine ‘casual meal out’ we either pick somewhere everyone can afford, or chose to eat without our OWN budgets.

I think the OP should man up next time and say something.  “Say gosh, I wasn’t expecting to pay $60 for just one meal - you don’t mind paying for yours as well do you?” or “hey guys, I’m not drinking, here’s my $40, I’ve got to /go to the loo/check my parking/save money for a house deposit”.  It’s about setting the boundaries.

And just because the rest of the group acts that way doesn’t mean YOU have to. You might be saving for a house (holiday, boob job), you might have other demands on your money that isn’t about feeding your excessively drinking and eating friends. Just say politely “this is what mine cost”, put it on the table bright and early (round up to the nearest note so there’s no fussing with change) and plan ahead (to carry a small variety of notes) and leave them with their fair share.

It’s not your job to feed their extravagant tastes/gluttony!  It sounds like many of your friends seem to think they can eat at the trough!

Poetic - the solution in a nutshell.

I have a saying “you get what you accept”. If you don’t make a murmer, they don’t realise there is a problem.

I’m surprised that Bossy is advocating such a “roll over and kick me” passive approach…

Seriously, that’s way too subtle. Every time I go out with friends, if we’ve all generally eaten the same thing (such as a Yum Cha banquet), I’ll pay an equal share of the total.  If we’ve all had different meals and different quantities, I will throw money to cover what I’VE eaten and let the rest of my mates sort it out between themselves. They don’t expect me to pay for them and I don’t expect them to pay for me. Usually it just takes one person looking at the bill and figuring out what they’ve eaten.  I’ve always thrown in cash to the nearest ten above what my order came to.

HA, that’s the first time anyone has ever accused me of being subtle!

I’m with you on banquets though Em.

I’m a bit of a soft touch when it comes to paying a bigger part of the bill though. Yes, I save my money and that’s why I have more than other people but I like feeling generous too.

I always end up figuring out the bill - even if pissed - as I’m an accountant people seem to think that my adding up and dividing capacities remain unfettered by booze - which regrettably is not the case.  That may be why we always seem to end up over!!

Or perhaps your friends are like my friends - considerate of the fact the bill is being split.

My friends and I always order fairly similar meals, share some sides, etc. And if we feel we’ve ordered a bit more than the person next to us, we round the amount up by a few dollars.

OP’s friend with the two main dishes, clearly not so considerate. But OMG, TWO main dishes! This woman must either have a tapeworm, or a metabolism that defies logic, or be the size of a house. I’m a big fatty and even I don’t eat that much!

I agree. I’m also a small eater and used to go to work lunches with others who ordered big and drank alcohol. I was annoyed that I had to subsidise their drinking and I don’t see why everyone here thinks you should pay for your friends’ meals. How is that fair?

I would suggest speaking up as soon as the bill comes. Get out your money quickly and comment on how you’re only paying for your own. If they say something, just tell them that you don’t want to (or can’t afford to) pay for their meals as well.

Don’t be afraid to speak up. They’re the ones being rude.

Agree DM.

OP I think your 1 starter 2 mains and 3 glasses of wine friend was taking you for a ride. Speak up next time or just leave your share of the cash.

Groups are different and often restaurants won’t split bills per table. My budget friend hasthis sorted. She arrives a few minutes after everyone, seeks out the waiter and says she’s only staying for a bit so can that just do a separate bill for her. It invariably works, even in the most inflexible separate bill places. She stays for the whole night but she’s set upo her own arrangement very charmingly.

I don’t eat out a lot but like everyone here, unless everyone has had roughly the same amount of food and beverages, most paid their bit and throw in a few extra bucks.

Occasionally someone ‘forgets’ to throw in their share, or leaves early without paying, but it all seems to work out in the end. Anyone who is on a budget says so up front, even if not contributing a tip which is not compulsory here anyway, and no one minds.

I guess it depends on your group of friends. But do speak up about the bill-share, either before ordering or at bill presentation time. It’s not as touchy an issue as you may think.

Happy dining

Disagree… I’m a big eater, I’m very ,uch aware that I’m a big eater, and I NEVER expect others to pay for my meals. If I’ve eaten more than others I will always chip in extra.

So there goes your fat person stereotype!

Where’s mine Kate?

What’s that?  The poor emoticom looks like he’s had a broom handle rammed up his bum.

Haha, Bossy gone all ‘emo’(-ticon) today !

I’m giving up now Kate.  I know when I’m beaten.

Can’t the OP just ask for individual dockets? We do that all the time with my friends.

It shouldn’t piss people off, we get paid a higher hourly or base wage than American hospitality workers, you don’t need the tips, in the US they get a dismal wage which is why they need the tips, they also pay taxes on the tips which is hilarious

Totally agree with you on the tipping, this is Australia. You get paid a proper wage here, so don’t put you paw out and start begging like a dog for a bone.
Tipping is totally undignified.

I totally agree with you Shell, they are taking you for a ride. What you should have done is put in your $30 after she’s put in her share and wait for her response. This will tell you if she’s taking advantage of you deliberately or not. If she is, then ditch her immediately.

As for tipping, I only tip for good or excellent service to encourage them. I think the GST should cover those with basic service skills and that we should be allowed to reclaim our GST for poor service.

Advice from some one who used to work in Restaurants.
If you go to the same place often tip, they will remember you and give you better service next time. If it is a one off it dont bother unless they really went out of their way or you know you(or your group) were being a pain(drunk).

Jax, we pay tax on tips in Australia too! You’re supposed to keep a record of them and then declare them on your tax return. Wonder how many people actually do that…

As a former waitress, I can honestly say I never cared if I got tips or not. Because it was never much. Once I saved my tips for a whole year, and ended up with just enough to buy my parents some very cheap christmas presents. We’re talking a few dollars a week at most places. The only benefit is that it’s tax-free!

But split bills - they are a pain for your waitstaff. I still tell the story of my worst ever customers.... the group of four families who turned up with no booking, had to be spread across two tables on opposite sides of the restaurant, then when the bill came insisted I stand there with a calculator while they squabbled over whose kids ate the chicken nuggets.

Splitting bills is fine but please do it amongst yourselves and round up the numbers… because the time your waitstaff spends counting up every dollar of your order is time their other customers go without drinks.

Quite right. He always gets a million responses, and I scroll right through the whole lot without reading a word.

I have to agree with Danno here.

However, there are also other posts worth ignorning too.

Call of the day that actually made me laugh… its like watching South Park or Family Guy! Hahaha Matthew Newton, honestly, Hahahaha.

Totally agree here.

The only people that need to eat that much food when going out is no one, ever. And you were only embarrassed by the fact she brought out $60? Hopefully she at least lets you hitch a ride on the back of her electric scooter when you go out together. fair is fair.

I disagree with Bossy, you CAN tell people they’ve been a greedy bastard when you eat out and only pay for what you ate. Since when do friend’s feelings come into bill splitting? if they are going to get upset over that, then get new mates.

Completely agree.

What a fat pig of a friend.  Two mains and entree!  Gosh.

The only time I can see that this would have been fair is if it was Chinese and you were sharing mains with Rice or equivalent.

However if she is just a pig ordering to cover her fat ass and get away with it cheap, bring it up and pay for your fair share and encourage that pig to pay for hers too.

Otherwise ditch that fat pig and sign her email address up to Jenny Craig.  She sounds like she needs it anyway…

Marry me?

Why should you have to go to lesser restaurants just so your sister and Brother in law won’t rip you off? Surely it would be easier and better for you to just say something to them?

I don’t understand people who are willing to sacrifice their level of happiness just to keep the peace.

Your sister and her hubby are being selfish. Maybe they do this with their friends too, maybe they need someone close to them to pull them in line?

Seriously if my bro and his wife tried this on I would speak up straight away. If people need money then they should ask, not just expect it.

I’m a fatty, and i always without exception put in at least $10- $20 more than my bill came too. I also don’t eat like a pig when i’m out with other people.
I never let the birthday person pay a cent of their bill, i will often pay the entire bill if i know the other person is on a budget or if i invited them out, or i’m just feeling generous.
If it’s my birthday i don’t expect people to take me out, i invite people over for a bbq and provide everything including alcohol.
And i agree with people paying their own way as a general rule. Why should anyone else pay for someone else unless they want to?
People can be self important schmucks when they want to be. If you order big pay for it yourself. If you weren’t supposed to know how much you were spending for dinner they wouldn’t put the price in the menu.
i think generally people like to be generous, and given the opportunity will be happy to pay a little extra, but if you force someone to pay for you like it’s just what they are supposed to do then you may find they get disgruntled.

then either be up-front with your friends about your financial circumstances and go somewhere cheap

Hmmm I don’t know 86. There are a lot of self-absorbed people out there. I once went to a birthday dinner years ago (this guy was having like a string of celebrations, it was v excessive but I’d missed his party). I was broke at the time and pulled aside my close friend (his roommate) and told her I only had x amount for dinner so wasn’t going huge. She nodded, then turned around and promptly ordered a buffet for everyone - myself included - in front of the entire table, which consisted of people I didn’t know. I had one $14 main and a coke but then had to front up $45 for a buffet/alcohol. Very annoying.

Cool and groovy!

A most Bodacious Bossy approved post!

Sometimes it CAN break the bank to have to split the bill when you didnt eat/drink much.

I was once so broke (single parent left ‘holding the baby’) that I lived on weetbix for weeks at a time. No milk either…

But having said that, I didnt eat out over that time (at all, for several years actually), and still rarely do. Once you’ve been that poor you tend to be very careful not to go there again.

So OP being careful with money isnt such a bad thing. I’d avoid eating out with your piggy mate in future, or pay for the meal when you order if you *must* eat out with her (I assume it was a her?).

And to the poster who said only teenage males eat an entree and TWO mains. I have 3 teenage sons and you are SPOT ON

I don’t get how you and bossy and half the other people on here can say “it won’t break the bank”, “it doesn’t hurt to be the more generous person” etc.  How do you know it doesn’t hurt?  Many people can’t afford to throw away $30. Most restaurants have choices for mains that vary hugely in price, and a lot of people will choose a meal that they can afford and it’s probably not the most expensive on the menu. It’s not hard to be aware of the cost of what you’re ordering, and especially in a small group to pay some attention to what other people are ordering, so that you can pay your fair share at the end. I wonder how many of you have friends who don’t eat much that think about you the same way that OP is thinking about her friends since you apparently expect them to subsidise the bigger eaters when you go out. I go out with groups of friends pretty often and we’ll always have some idea of what we’ve ordered and chip in accordingly.  We’re never short and everyone’s happy.  OP there’s some good advice in some of the posts here.  Forget the so called “etiquette” - I don’t think any real friend will be upset that you’re expecting them to pay for the food they ate.  Either explain why you’re paying less, or just be first to put your share on the table and let the others split the difference.

Actually, for some of us, having to pay upwards of $30 extra for something we didn’t have is actually going to break the bank.  I live on a very tight budget because I am trying to save money to buy a home, so I don’t have to retire into my car.  At my age, unfortunately I am running out of time.  Therefore, I am very careful about my money.  The additional $30 might mean missing out on another thing, like the movies or something.  The food part I could probably live with (occasionally, if it was a larger group and dinner), but not where its just the two of you - I would have said something. The real problem is alcohol. I don’t drink, so I’m not paying for alcohol.  Same as I’m not paying for other random stuff that I don’t want or need.

You sound like the fat person only wanting to chip in $60.  Friendship is about give and take.  Too much take and its game over.

Maybe you should ask yourself why no one invites you out to eat.

Charlie, I think I remember you.  We had one lunch together (and once was more than enough). Hope you enjoyed your oysters and rare braised mignon. As your vegetarian loving soup friend, it’s the least I can do to subsidise your gluttony.
cheers mate.

What happened

I came from rubbish bin i am ready to go there any time even this second