Would you have a long distance relationship?

Personally I find it pain in the ass being with someone on the other side of the city. Having to drive over all the time through peak hour gives me the shits. If ultra long distances (like what EK is talkin about) don’t work on the sexual level so whats the point? I don’t think I could muster up any sort of feelings for someone through a relationship on facebook. Might as well just make sweet love to a porn mag. Besides how are you suppose to police whether the other person is cheating on you? I can sort of understand it, if it was temporary work thing, but 3-6months tops girls. I figure there are only a few girls in this world special enough for me to do that for. Chances are I won’t find them.

All a long distance relationship offers is long pointless conversations and infrequent sex. There’s no point in that. All you get is the worst of relationships without the good parts to counter it.

It’s not 1993 anymore and phone sex became a waste of time after the internet became popular.

I dunno, but at least I am first to post

My idiot of an ex husband is having a long distance relationship with a woman he met over the internet.

She lives in the Philippines-in a condo that he bought for her. In her name.

He sends her money weekly as she doesn’t work.

They’ve known each other for three months.

And he can’t afford to by his children a pair of shoes.

And when the money dries up, he’ll have nothing…

I have been in one, and still with the girl, though we now live… in the same house. It was very hard and i think the only way for them to work is if there is light at the end of the tunnel, I.E. if at some point not too far away, you will be together. That said it did take 2 years but we are very happy… NOW!

Long distance works as long as you both remain on the same page and are honest with each other.

When one person begins to feel differently, it needs to be dealt with properly or you’ll drift apart. And an understanding that you may both drift in out and out but that doesn’t mean its over and can’t be repaired.

You need set times to see each other, an end in sight and most importantly realise that a long distance relationship ISN’T a normal relationship, so dont try to make it. It is a different kind of relationship with its own unique set of rules.

EK,
I lived with a woman I loved for two years, then we were forced to try the long distance thing.  We weren’t too far separated, 650km, but work and distance conspired against us.
At least, that’s how it is fondly remembered.  The reality is completely different.
I loved the benefits of being in a relationship, I loved talking about the future with her, but the first time I cheated on her was the toughest.  After that first time it became easy.
I remember driving to see her after spending the previous night with a good-looking, easy pick-up.  Wondering where the guilt was, I found none, so it made our long-distance relationship easier.  I went overseas, interstate and lived the dream.
When I got rid of her, I didn’t question why or lay any unnecessary blame - it was all my fault.
Since then, I’ve seen a few long-distance women, but they were nothing but booty calls, meaningless.
So, no, I wouldn’t get involved in a long distance relationship again, it’d be too easy to take advantage of it…

I’ve never had anything but long distance relationships.

Even when I’ve been ‘near’ a guy, there’s been long periods of time when I’ve been away from him so it’s turned into a 40% time with the person, 60% away from the person.

It’s incredibly difficult.

I think the key, is to always be connected and able to communicate to that person in some way. The real problem I’ve found is the distance you cause emotionally with someone else.

If you fight, you can’t heal it with a cuddle and a nice sit down dinner. You have to work through it and you have to heal yourself, in place of them doing it for you. Your time with that person is finite, it ENDS when you disconnect from the Internet or hang up the phone.

My partner and I have been long distance for a few years now. It gets harder and harder every day and sometimes, I wonder if I made the right choice to be involved with someone knowing this could happen. We certainly didn’t plan to be apart for this long.

However, we make the choice each day to be together. It’s difficult and we certainly don’t make it easy on one another (me especially, I can be very jealous). But we didn’t ‘fall into’ the relationship, we’re not just doing what’s easiest, we’re doing what we have to, to be with the person we want....Even if that means not being ‘with’ them.

It won’t last forever, we’ll either have to be together soon or face a break up. But at least, while I’m with him, I can really appreciate the good times because they’re fleeting. A lot of people take holding hands, watching TV together, even just knowing that they will see that person the next day, all for granted. I can’t. The fleeting nature of the ‘normal’ times causes a lot of problems too. But when I really look at it, I’d much rather have savoured the simple day to day acts, than not noticed them because they were simple day to day acts.

I have done it for 18months me in the middle of nowhere and her in a country town at uni. it sucked a bit for a the first 3-6months then it wasn’t to bad seeing each other for 4-5days once a month or once every two months it is just something you adapt to. you also have to have a fair bit of trust. the other advantage is that you can do what you want when you want where you are currently living (as in drinking stubbies and the like). I have sinse moved back to be with my now Fiance.

I wouldn’t say it is easy but it does deffinatley test you.

I was in a long distance relationship for 3 of the 4 years that I was with my ex. When I finished uni, we agreed that we’d both move to Canberra where I had a graduate job. In the end though, I couldn’t let him follow me - he would have hated it, and resented the move to a ‘city’ he didn’t like. Furthermore, I’d started to realise that we worked too well in a long distance relationship. I realised that I handled only seeing him every 6-8 weeks, with just a bit too much ease, which probably isn’t a good sign about the strength of the relationship.

To Mistral of Sydney,

I agree when you called your ex an idiot!!! Seriously 3 months? Bought her a condo too wow LOL. It just shows he doesn’t know his priorities if he can’t even buy his own kids shoes. Yeah just send money to my gf she loves me. Yeah right!!! And I am imagining she is younger than him too?

I hope so, my partner of 1 year has just been deployed for six months....so I am very optimistic...3 weeks down...23 to go…

I did it and it was the best thing as it allowed us not to rush into the relationship and allowed for us to have that break and then be refreshed and excited for when we saw each other on the weekend.

It’s hard! But as long as you are on the same page with regards to the future and the things you want to achieve then it will ok. It’s not all hunky dory, communication is the key!

I have since moved and we couldn’t be happier as we have found it easier to save together and work as a team together on building our lives . Long distance isn’t for everyone, but it does and can work if you want the same things and are committed to making it work.

It makes no difference to me as I can’t get any relationship. Shyness is a curse!

Yes I am in a long distance relationship and I have just turned 57! I am in Australia and he is in America.  Sure it has its challenges but that is the same for any relationship.  We make it work because we choose to make it work.  Open, honest communication is a key.  Knowing what each others expectations and goals for the relationship is also part of what makes it work.  Travel these days is not that difficult and Skype, emails, txting and phone calls means what we often speak to each other more than couples would who were together!  Like everything in life; it is a decision isn’t it?

If you asked our grandparents the answer would be a resounding “yes, long distance relationships can work” this is because many of them experienced long distance relationships, however this was also in the era before sex before marriage was acceptable and people happily lived on the anticipation.

In todays day of instant gratification it is harder as many people seem to believe that it isnt a relationship if you are not having sex on a very regularly basis.

I believe it can still work but it takes a lot of honest communication and can only survive if you are not the jealous/suspicous type.

If you can not accept that their life is continueing and they will socialise with those of the opposite sex, and trust them enough to not be jealous of that socialising, then it can work, but that is the same if the person is in the next room.

Jealousy knows no distance and its jealousy that kills a lot of relationships.

You are right, long distance relationships never work, atleast not for me.

My long-distance girlfriend of 2 years in Oz dumped me for a guy she recently met.God knows why she did that, may be for physical relationship/sex.

I am 24, a virgin who believes in true love that happens once in a lifetime.

Life’s a pain, it’s so hard to move on

No way would I ever be in a long distance ! I am already a nutcase why would I put the added stress on myself and worry about what they are doing, miss a call and get an abusive text, go out and have them constantly check up through calls texts.
There are plenty of men in the world, I would move closer or make them move to me.
Hey ironmike.

I’ve been forced into a long distance relationship as my g/f is doing 8-12 in the Silverwater Correctional Centre for manslaughter. Its not easy, thank the lord for internet porn!

I’ve had two periods of long-distance relationships with the same person. First was for 6 months, after we’d been together for 18 months, when I was in England and he was in Africa.

Second was for a year living three hours apart, after we’d been together for 3 years.
The first one was definately harder because could only email and call about once a week and were often in completely different emotional spaces.

But over all, it was quite a good thing - allowed us to be a bit more independent and self relient and grow up as a couple.
Second one was much easier because we were more secure, could call all the time, see each other more often and skype the other times.
We got engaged in this period and are now married - and in the same place.

Long distance can be heaps hard, but for us, think it was actually really healthy - taught us to work at communication etc, rather than just expect it would happen.