My ex boyfriend made advances even when I told him no. Should I remain friends?

haha, so true!! This letter reeks of self justification and the OP trying to plead innocence!!
OP just forget him, he doesn;t want your friendship, he wants to nail you and you probably enjoyed his compliments, they made you feel good about yourself!!

Wow first post was at 8:14 am? I would have got it again. I apologize for my Monday hiatus. I had others thing that I had to attend to at 8:10 am on the dot. I was frantically refreshing this page in the hope that the blog would have been posted earlier.  Bossy, I must say your posting details are a big fat LIE.  I refreshed until 8:05 am, and there were NO blogs up. Sadly, I had to be out the door at that time so I didn’t get to have my opinion be heard. I’m not even going to bother writing a new response, so I’ll just post it here! Anyway.. Boy oh boy.. Have I missed a good one, I would have loved to have my opinion be heard first on this one, but what can you do, I had to be somewhere else, unfortunately.  Are you stupid? No. YOU’RE MORE THAN STUPID. Thank goodness you didn’t cheat on your spouse. I cannot fathom how you could be so naive and ignorant to not realise this man’s motives. He never wanted to be just friends, NEVER, and he NEVER will want to be just friends. This man is disgusting. How dare he try to break up not only your family, but his. I would get on the phone and tell his “partner” about what he has been doing. Chances are you AREN’T the ONLY ex-lover he has done this to. I’m willing to bet that he has called up all of his previous lovers to “just check up” on how they’re doin’. Also, I hope you stopped talking to that “best friend” of yours who was sleeping with this douchebag. Please tell me you did.. If not, SHAME ON YOU. Nobody just makes “mistakes” of that grandeur importance. That’s the pinnacle of betrayal right there.  Forget this cretin. I’m not even going to call him a man, because he isn’t. All he is, is a dried up, promiscuous, dirty, senile, unfaithful, disgusting, moron, who should not have procreated. You’re no better, and you ought to be thankful you didn’t do anything with this douchebag, otherwise my anger levels would have reached boiling point. You’re no better because you naively didn’t see his come-on’s from the start. Well, truth is, you did. You ignored them. You kept giving him chances. He DESERVES NO CHANCES. Sink him. Be the iceberg, let him be the Titanic. Sink this bastard.. SINK HIM. Call up his partner so she can get a damn abortion and not create another promiscuous, masochistic, pompous douchebag. Thanks for ruining my Monday. I am so peeved that I didn’t get to post because I had to be elsewhere, and now I miss out on a good post. Thanks A LOT. 

Hazaah!, No CTT today, we are all truly blessed

Pardon the french but..

WHAT THE FUNKY MONKEY happened to my post? There WAS paragraphs in there. There WAS emoticons. What the? Now I look like an absolute idiot. Thanks Bossy or whoever edited my post.

P.S: Not so fast, BroG. 

Just saw your post Bossy.. I’m sorry. 

Emoticons add flavor, texture and a pint of individuality to me. While I am unique, it makes me more of a snowflake. Please don’t take my thing away. Please. Oh, and never delete me.. Please, please.. PLEASE? I was fretting all morning, spamming refresh, but alas, I missed my post all because I had to be elsewhere. 

I didn’t use that many emoticons, did I?

Christ. I was defending this CTT kid but there is something seriously psychologically wrong with this child. Bossy, give him some numbers he can call.

Bossy, on behalf of all the other regular readers, Thank you very much for your efforts removing emoticons. It was just getting too much

ha ha CTT, now you’re even pissing off the BOSS....

Geez CTT - get a life. Last week I was feeling sorry for you and thinking you were being a bit bullied. But you lost my sympathy with your rant about not being first. Lose the entitlement complex and lighten up a bit. I think a break might be good for you....

CTT : You need to get out of the house more you mentioned 4x you had somewhere else you had to be for a short ammount of time, if being unavailable at a computer for a short period of time is worth mentioning to people several times in a short story then perhaps your not getting out enough.

Think about it, getting out, making “friends”, possibly even meeting a girl, might give you some insight into the world that you give so much advice on, you might come to realise its not so fluffy and simple and not everything is black and white and these morals and principals you stand for at times have to be stretched and you will sometimes understand these things even if you dont condone them.

we need a blog for friday titled “CTT - Discuss”
.

CTT, you’d better have your crash helmet on next time you flame and abuse the user of a blog who is simply presenting help to the masses via an internet medium. I no longer feel sorry for you and just wish you’d get a life and stop bothering this blog with your insane rants.

I know this is my third post here, and I’m truly sorry for derailing this thread, but Bossy..

Please think about it, it’s all I ask. I am NOT a troll and to be honest, I feel quite offended and disappointed that I’ve been censored/silenced because of a select few whiners. Who cares if they leave? I highly doubt your pay is coming off how many times this blog gets viewed/commented on. So what is the issue? They’re boring prudes.

I come on here to give my opinion. I am honestly probably your biggest/most genuine fan. Yes, some people have been around longer than I. However, how many sit awaiting your blogs? Not many, if any.

This probably isn’t the time or the place, but, Bossy I feel really hard done by. I feel like I have to post this message. I hope you don’t delete it, I’ve tried to keep the emoticons to a minimum. I’m thinking that this Friday might be my last time on this blog. I know a minority will be happy about that decision, I will still probably read, but if I’m just going to get censored/silenced then why bother? I feel really let down. I’m not sure if this is a good or bad thing, but this is the first time in my life I have felt truly disappointed in someone’s actions. This is WHY I don’t socialize with people.

With all due respect, Bossy, I expected better. I don’t mean that to be rude either. Please understand my intentions here are not to cause trouble. I want my opinion to be heard. I use the emoticons because.. I like them. The same way I bold things of importance. I’m sorry that some boring, technologically illiterate, jerks have taken offence to my postings, foiled up an elaborate bluff to play on your mind, which in turn you believed and reacted on.

I feel like this blog has turned into a milder equivalent of communist North Korea. Not to sound harsh on you Bossy, but it’s what I’m feeling at the moment. I really couldn’t believe my eyes when you said “he’s one of the most tamest trolls”. I’m sorry for having an opinion. I’m sorry that I’ve read your blog for a long time. I’m sorry that I didn’t post years ago. I’m sorry that I only posted recently. I’m sorry that you think my genuine, heartfelt opinions are that of a troll...I’m SORRY.

All I’m asking is for you to think! I don’t overuse emoticons in my opinion. I use them a select intervals to show what my opinion is on the text. As stated previously, it adds flavor. It shows what I’m feeling when I write the text.

I have a question for not only you Bossy, but the general forum. Why do you think I’m trolling? Do you think people don’t have friends in the real world? Do you think that nobody could hold the views that I do on society? Is it because I’m honest? You don’t like difference or change, do you? Pstch. Well you’re half right. I say half right because nobody else holds these views, nobody I’ve met at least. So I am alone with these views, yes, which is why you haven’t me anyone like me, but I am not trolling. Would a troll frantically wait each Mon,Weds and Fri for Bossy? I think not. Also, if you actually read my replies you will see I make references to movies/songs in some of my replies. Not to troll, but it’s just a little thing for people clued on to pick up on… for fun of course.

Below is how I’m feeling at the moment.. Blank.

Thank you Bossy!!!
I was actually starting to get really over the emoticons...dont even bother reading the comment now..

Spoke too soon BroG, I blame you.

I don’t get why anyone would want to be friends with their ex. I know it’s meant to be all the rage and ‘mature’ to stay friends with an ex. But that sort of behaviour only works if it’s a mutual thing (as mutual as having your heart ripped out can be).

I don’t talk to my exes, I just post unebelievably hot pictures of myself on Facebook. That’ll show that guy that broke my heart when I was 17, if ever he looks for me.... But you don’t go on ‘dates’ with an ex, that’s giving them more than they deserve.

A gazillion cheers for Bossy - yay!!

Way to go bossy, I don’t get a headache now that the emoticons have been deleted. Cheers!

Bossy, I will try to use them less. I only use them at specific points usually, like at the end of my sentences to show how I am feeling. It’s just… me. 

Thanks for not censoring me. I’ll sleep on it and see how things go on Wednesday. I’m not leaving because people want me to go. It’s my choice. I just felt really disappointed, but, thank you for understanding. I’ll sleep on it and we’ll see how Wednesday goes. 

Of course he’s a troll. He’s a troll from the bog of eternal stench.

Sitting there obsessively waiting to be first post, sitting there continually hitting reload, writing long rants that people have to exercise there middle finger to scroll past, and littering his sentiments with lolly wrapper emoticons that he knows get a rise out of people.

The people have spoken, not a few, but the majority. This Friday Toilet Truth Teller, make your decision to stay or leave. I personally am indifferent, I could suffer a million of you and not even bat an eyelid. And the reason for this, is I know that your “opinion” is not your own, it’s merely designed to annoy the forum.

wow… i actually feel really sorry for CTT atm.

You guys and even you bossy are being really nasty to a kid who clearly has nothing else in his life… just let him have his stupid emoticons and bold text. I thought this was a blog for anyone to post what they want? also people like Tomator and potato and jerks like that get to post their absolute garbage comments on here so I don’t see the big deal :S
Give the stupid kid a break

Oh my God, this is just too good!!

Drama on the Ask Bossy blogs - loving it!

CTT, come on!  I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone use emoticons the way you do.  All people are asking is for you to tone it down a little.  We’re all fairly technologically savvy, and we can pick up how you feel about something.  Just write your opinion, leave the icons and bolding to a minimum, and it’ll be fine.  People might actually start reading your opinions if you do this.

Your emoticons are like what capitals are - yelling, in your face, and lacking any kind of proper netiquette.  Nobody likes to have an opinion rammed down their throat, and your posts are a prime offender.

Just… relax.  No one is saying your opinion is invalid, but it sure makes it difficult to hear anything you’ve got to say when we’re bombarded with it.  I think this might explain why you don’t have any friends…

What the? When/where did I abuse Bossy? If you’re talking about my comment, mate.. It was for the poster, not Bossy.  Unless you mean when I called her posting times a big fat lie? That was a joke, as they say that they were posted at 8:02, but when I checked from 8:00 am - 8:05 am they weren’t there.

Don’t blame me. I always use paragraphs. It was edited, honestly. Now I look crazy Bossy, good one!
 

@Bossy I’m with BroG, let’s delcare this friday a special fruitcake edition called “CTT and his many mental issues”

Thank you VERY much Bossy for getting rid of those intrusive emoticons.
Overuse just diminishes effectiveness(and we all get pissed off at that immature troll - which is what he wants - sort of ironic really, it’s a self fulfilling prophesy given that he thinks people are losers and having friends is a recipe for disaster).

Hi again CTT

I don’t think you’re a troll. No one is that industrious. If you are a troll, it’s my bet that you’re an artist and this is a new form of creativity (is it you Steve?)

The reason people can’t take you seriously is that you are so extreme - you are very self-absorbed. It may not seem like that to you, but you really do need to get our more. I suggest you join a nice friendly church that doesn’t ask you for too much money.

CTT - I really think you emotionally invest way too much in this blog. That can’t be healthy. You clearly put a lot of thought into your posts. But your intensity comes off a little, well, scary. Go out and have some fun.

Captain Truth Teller (sorry Dr Opkik, I don’t mean to use your thread to answer it, I know I shouldn’t answer it....But I need to, it’s an illness)has it ever occurred to you that when you reply to someone’s initial thread you should make some comment on what THEY’VE said, instead of some rambling apologising for not answering soon enough? As though your opinion somehow overrides that of the person who managed to post first?

We all do it, at least I do it, where you reply to someone and put forward your own view, but the reasoning behind it should at least be the pretense of interacting with your fellow blog commentators.

Please think about it, it’s all I ask. I am NOT a troll and to be honest, I feel quite offended and disappointed that I’ve been censored/silenced because of a select few whiners.

Feel free to be offended and disappointed over nothing. Behaving like a spoilt child isn’t endearing.  It’s not a consititutional right to have your every comment posted on here.

Who cares if they leave?

Why are you more value as a reader than others?

I highly doubt your pay is coming off how many times this blog gets viewed/commented on. So what is the issue? They’re boring prudes.

What is your issue here?

I come on here to give my opinion. I am honestly probably your biggest/most genuine fan. Yes, some people have been around longer than I. However, how many sit awaiting your blogs? Not many, if any.

I think Locust stalking Bossy is probably as many stalkers as we need on here.

This probably isn’t the time or the place, but, Bossy I feel really hard done by. I feel like I have to post this message. I hope you don’t delete it, I’ve tried to keep the emoticons to a minimum. I’m thinking that this Friday might be my last time on this blog. I know a minority will be happy about that decision, I will still probably read, but if I’m just going to get censored/silenced then why bother? I feel really let down. I’m not sure if this is a good or bad thing, but this is the first time in my life I have felt truly disappointed in someone’s actions. This is WHY I don’t socialize with people.

Your justification for not socializing with other people is because you can’t get whatever you want?  Your name implies that you have at least some self-awareness of how you are, and also the impact your are trying to make.  You probably want to be known for “saying it like it is” and “calling it straight”.  But this sort of reputation is usually formed by peer judgements.  You’ve labelled yourself in a particular way and your posts don’t match that label as far as I can see.

With all due respect, Bossy, I expected better. I don’t mean that to be rude either. Please understand my intentions here are not to cause trouble. I want my opinion to be heard. I use the emoticons because.. I like them. The same way I bold things of importance. I’m sorry that some boring, technologically illiterate, jerks have taken offence to my postings, foiled up an elaborate bluff to play on your mind, which in turn you believed and reacted on.

The emoticons are annoying.  The technology illiterate are likely to find them less annoying but still annoying.  By using one after almost every sentence, you are doing the equivalent of posting in all caps.

And give Bossy more credit.

I feel like this blog has turned into a milder equivalent of communist North Korea. Not to sound harsh on you Bossy, but it’s what I’m feeling at the moment. I really couldn’t believe my eyes when you said “he’s one of the most tamest trolls”. I’m sorry for having an opinion. I’m sorry that I’ve read your blog for a long time. I’m sorry that I didn’t post years ago. I’m sorry that I only posted recently. I’m sorry that you think my genuine, heartfelt opinions are that of a troll...I’m SORRY.

The reason why people think you are a troll is that you seem to proactively seek to agitate people.  Your opinions are the best (refer above comments such as “who cares if they leave"), you don’t listen to other peoples opinions (what is their problem with emoticon overload?!? They must be technically illiterate), and now you lash out when you don’t get first posts or people criticise you.

Also, my mum would have laughed at me if I attempted such a poor attempt at emotional blackmail.  It is even less effective as online this sort of thing just fails to translate.  The comment about North Korea makes me think you’re still just trolling with this comment but I’m replying on the basis of you being genuine about this post.

All I’m asking is for you to think! I don’t overuse emoticons in my opinion. I use them a select intervals to show what my opinion is on the text. As stated previously, it adds flavor. It shows what I’m feeling when I write the text.

An emoticon is an emotional icon, used to represent your emotions.  Using them after every line suggests you are some sort of bi-polar or manic depressive individual who changes their emotions with every thought.  Appropriate use of emoticons would probably be once per post, or maybe twice if you happen to write a particularly long post and took a large dump in the middle of writing it, in which case maybe you could go from a stressed icon to a relieved icon.

I have a question for not only you Bossy, but the general forum. Why do you think I’m trolling?

Points noted above.  It is because you are the online equivalent of “LALALALALA, CAN’T HEAR YOU, LALALALA, NOT LISTENING, LALALALA” followed by “Ok, now that you’ve finished, you have to listen to what I say”.

Do you think people don’t have friends in the real world?  Do you think that nobody could hold the views that I do on society? Is it because I’m honest?  You don’t like difference or change, do you? Pstch. Well you’re half right. I say half right because nobody else holds these views, nobody I’ve met at least. So I am alone with these views, yes, which is why you haven’t me anyone like me, but I am not trolling.

Your views aren’t anything new.  Refer to comments regarding you being Tybalt on emoticon steroids.

Would a troll frantically wait each Mon,Weds and Fri for Bossy? I think not.

Actually, this is pretty much exactly what trolls do.  They deliberately seek to irritate through whatever method they think is likely to get the best reaction.

Also, if you actually read my replies you will see I make references to movies/songs in some of my replies. Not to troll, but it’s just a little thing for people clued on to pick up on… for fun of course.

Below is how I’m feeling at the moment.. Blank.

I don’t have an emoticon to represent how I’m feeling.  I don’t feel particularly emotional about this blog so don’t feel the need to emphasise anything unnecessarily.

CTT - you’re widely considered to be a troll, and a bad one at that, because of a number of reasons:

1) You just HAVE to give your opinion about anything and everything that goes on. Not only that, you have to throw in how much you hate society as justification for your opinion, and go on continuously about your lack of life experiences yet somehow that makes your opinion worth something.

2) You have not said ONE thing positive at ALL in any of your posts. It’s all a big whine about how much you hate society and the OP is evidence of it. OK, we get it. You hate society. Good for you. If you hate it so much, then don’t be a part of it. Continually whining and having a cry over things that are happening to OTHER PEOPLE is old. Ethel at least was entertaining in how she weeps. You seem to have a large chip on the shoulder and you feel the need to tell everyone just how the world has wronged you somewhere, somehow. If you want a soapbox to stand on about how the world has mistreated you and how you hate society, go get your own blog.

3) In a related note, you seem to just thrive on the attention that your cries of “I hate society” give. That is why you sit so eagerly to be the first commenter on a blog, when you really don’t have anything productive to say except that you hate society. Your burning desire to be, at least, on the front page is CLEAR EVIDENCE that you are a troll. You have no desire AT ALL to provide any kind of help or support to the OP, you just want an avenue for your voice to be heard, as if you’re searching for justification of your views. If you’re so confident of your views, you wouldn’t need to advertise them ENDLESSLY on an advice blog.

4) You remind a lot of people of the crazy Evangelical Christians that stand on street corners crying out that the world will end because of all the sin that is happening and how all you have to do is believe in Jesus to be saved, yada yada. No-one likes having someone else’s opinion shoved in their face endlessly. WE GET THE FACT YOU HATE SOCIETY. What are you trying to accomplish by telling people this in every single post? Do you get a feeling of self-satisfaction when a problem comes up that you can jump on your “I hate society” soapbox? I’m sure I can talk for most people here when I say WE DON’T GIVE A RATS ASS ABOUT YOUR HATRED OF SOCIETY. And none of us are going to ascribe to your view.

5) If you really hate society all that much, then you are focusing on all the wrong things, or choosing to ignore all the good things that are happening in society. As with any problem, whining constantly about it won’t fix it. You have to realise that life is constantly full of disappointments. You are young enough to come out of the home shell, and the big wide world pretty much doesn’t give a crap about you. Everyone looks out for themselves, and I can’t help but feel that you’re undergoing the typical indignation of many a teenager when they realise that the universe doesn’t revolve around them. Also, you don’t know everything, you’re not smarter than the average person, you’re not the best driver in the world - all are attitudes that everyone, in any age, have at one stage.

6) Finally, to avoid the Troll status, write your posts as how you would speak to someone face-to-face. Unless you actually speak on a face-to-face basis the exact way you write, in which case no wonder society has failed you because you’re an asshat with deep insecurities that you refuse to acknowledge and instead find it easier to blame society for not accepting you rather than taking the harder route and realising it’s your own attitude that needs fixing and working to fit within society.

Bossy, it’s not just the emoticons Captain Toilet Trouble has problems with, it’s the paragraph upon paragraph of dribble. Look at these comments under this first post, notice how almost all of Toilets posts almost fill up a computer monitor screen compared to other peoples succinct posts.

He just wants to see his name and time stamp, and no one elses points underneath. I’ll bet you a fiver, he doesn’t read other points of view, only those that comment on his comments.

So, if a few ‘regulars’ speak up, they can have anyone censored on this supposed ‘blog’?

Is that how it goes Bossy?  Is it so hard to ignore, or scroll past his post? 

Previously on this blog have been homophobia, death threats, racism but god forbid someone over uses emoticons… While he is a bit scary and hopefully confined to a cell, to so easily censor him over emoticons because others on here don’t like them smacks of favouritism.  Guess you’ve gotta keep your sycophants happy though..

All hail Glorious and Exalted leader Bossy of the “Democratic” Republic of Advice-column.

‘WHAT THE FUNKY MONKEY happened to my post? There WAS paragraphs in there. There WAS emoticons. What the? Now I look like an absolute idiot. Thanks Bossy or whoever edited my post. ‘

CTT you don’t need any help looking like an idiot with semantics like that. You were one all along.

Back in.

But the point wasn’t about emoticons - obviously I know removing them isn’t censoring, it was more about the why..

Bossy when you post a new topic and people see there is no comments, or few comments underneath, people think ah a fresh topic of debate. They read the OP’s story, and they make a decision to comment or not to.

However, everyday before the on topic debating gets underway, Captain Toilet Trouble comes in and firstly railroads the topic with a quick bit of inexperienced advice, and then proceeds to either,

A. talk about how much he hates the world.
B. talk about how hard he is done by.

By doing this EVERY DAY he is interupting the ability for the majority of posters to debate and contribute to YOUR posts Bossy!

Haven’t you ever noticed that pretty much every single piece of advice he gives is

1. Ditch whoever is causing the problem.
2. Be incredibly hard on the problem identifier.

Neither of these pieces of advice he offers every day are usually handy for a solution to ones problems. Often solutions are clear cut, and need negotiation, respect for each other, consultation with our fellow man and deep reflection.

I think Locust stalking Bossy is probably as many stalkers as we need on here.

I heartily endorse this comment!

All hail Glorious and Exalted leader Bossy of the “Democratic” Republic of Advice-column.

To be fair, between Bossy and CTT, she’s still ahead on the two party preferred vote - which is better than other Glorious and Exalted leaders have managed in recent times.

To tell you the truth Dr I am a little confused about the backlash against CTT...as I said elswehere we have had much worse on here over the years.

Well, I can only state my opinion on this. CTT, you’re welcome to read this and respond if you wish.

From my perspective, it’s down to incongruity and deception).

On the one hand, CTT insults the other posters by claiming us all to be “housewives, bored workers or the unemployed.” And yet he too is a poster here.

Likewise, he claims to prefer to be alone and to dislike society. Yet he claims not to be a troll, and wants to participate in the discussions. In so doing, he wants to make himself a part of a community, something he rails against.

So, it’s this duality which causes the problem for me: He claims/recognises that “these blogs aren’t about Bossy and I, it’s about you, the poster.” - but he then derides the community of posters even whilst he joins those ranks.

--------------
The second issue is deception.

In first, to use a legal term, “assuming facts not in evidence”; by the use of the name “Truth Teller”, he sets himself up to value truth - which he reinforced on the Tattoo blog. But then makes wild assumptions about the OP, or other people in the post, that are not based on the information provided.

When he was challenged on his statements, his response was:
“If you’re going to criticize my opinion(s) and advice, at least have a factual, educated response to critique with” - however, he has never provided sources or references to his “facts”.

By way of example, of this, see the ”My friend has made an awful confession” blog where he made truth-telling statements that pedophiles are incurable, provided no references for this assertation, which is easily disprovable by a few moments of googling to turn up peer reviewed journals stating the opposite. The truth teller is clearly not a fact checker.

By way of another example, on ”Do all men find it easy to tell these lies?” the information provided was that the OP had been seeing than for several weeks prior to being intimate. No mention of any other men on her part were mentioned.

CTT immediately branded her as promiscuous. He also stated that “have sex with people you aren’t even in a relationship with” despite the OP making it clear that they HAD been dating and the point of the letter was the man had said agreed/promised that they were in a relationship. Once again, assuming “facts” which are unsupported and unwarranted.

CTT is entitled to his opinion as much as anyone here, and I personally don’t even mind about the emoticons and bold, really.

But if he claims to be a truth teller, but merely presents his own opinion, based on whatever life experiences he has, as immutable fact - that will elicit a backlash from me. Like it did with Jason of Brisbane in his early days, like it would with any other.

LOL on CTT, Go Bossy!!!!

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

You’re getting e-mails from the original posters about me giving my opinion? Oh wow. Did they not read the damn portfolio of this blog? Why can’t I give ’no holds barred‘ advice that their friends are too afraid to give?

They know very well what they’re getting themselves into here. Especially when they say they’re ‘regulars’. You know, I slept on it. I thought, screw the haters, I’m going to come back and stay until next year. Now I’m doubting that decision.  

I guess this blog has changed. It’s now filled with la-la immature dweebs who can’t handle being critiqued. I laugh at them. I’m not leaving. I’m coming back with vengeance.

MUAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH. 

No, but really.. I’ll try to be good this Wednesday, but you can’t change someone. 

Wow...I do work for a whole day and look what I miss!

I have finished reading all responses to CTT’s craziness and Ben yours was an absolute winner. I can’t believe you put so much effort into it!

CTT, you need to read Ben’s post. Now read it again.

also people like Tomator and potato and jerks like that get to post their absolute garbage comments on here so I don’t see the big deal

Include ironmike in that (if thats his screen name). Makes you wonder if some know what a jerk even is? seems they are favourable over young,immature kids having rants on a blog. Excellent

Guys like you never can really settle for being friends.

I had a guy like him. Nice enough but I wasn’t attracted to him. Problem was I wanted friendship and he was always surprised when I wouldn’t have sex with him. Whenever we would MSN our standard conversation would be he would comment on how attractive he found me, how sad he was that things didn’t work out, an apology when I explained (yet again) that I wasn’t attracted to him, then his whinging on how fussy/picky I was just because I wouldn’t go out with him.

Do yourself a favour. Ditch the ex. He just wants to bang you to:
a) make you into a cheater yourself.
b) see if you’re still hot in bed.

This guy hasn’t changed his stripes. You were right to ditch him. Delete this guy on facebook, don’t answer his texts. The only way to win against this guy is to forget about him and leading a happy life with your finace. This ex of yours is only out to steal your peace of mind.

What I was thinking, word for word. 

Frankly, I think the OP is getting off on making her current jealous.  I don’t blame the ex for being annoyed, either. OP was being a little prick-tease and leading him on to plump up her own ego. Just dump the ex, OP, and stop parading him arounding in front of you fiance before he (your fiance) wakes up to what you are really like and dumps you like a hot potato.

Totally agree.  OP is engaged and ‘dating’ her ex after her fiancee warned her off him from the start. 

text messages, hugs, hanging out alone… all sounds like she’s very complicit in the cheating.

Very insightful.

Multiple hugs that got a bit too friendly after dirty text messages. I think you’ve hit the nail on the head here Sarah.

The reason she needs this “friendship” is her hubby’s an official - Bossy certified - wussbag and she needs an option to jump ship if and when the beta-maleness becomes unbearable.

You’ll note she never refused this loser those “hugs” he got so much out of.

Her “disgust” is just to keep up her pristine image while she works out which option is the BBD.

Totally correct.

“I’m of the mindset that he had his chance and he blew it – why did he want it now after everything that had gone on?!”

Did you just want us all to tell you that he loves you sooooo much that he wanted you back after all these years as opposed to “he can’t shag his preggers wife so he figured you’d be an easy root?”

i kinda disagree with you guys, because i’ve been in a similar position. went out with a guy 7 years ago, broke up, lost contact- regained contact on facebook about a year ago and at the time was engaged.  Met up with the ex (fiance knew- my younger sister and i and a few friends were heading out one night and him and a friend met up with us- little sister loves my ex)and we hung out, danced and pretty much had an awesome night. and he didnt chase me, but there was lots of hugging and stupidity and old stories and hell, a little flirting. and i didnt want him. and my fiance (who is definately an alpha male) didnt really care. in fact, ex bf has been over the fiances place a number of times, and when we go out if another guy hits on me, ex comes to the rescue.

Exactly. And I’m with Alastair here too - fiance shouldn’t be awarded the ‘tolerant partner of the year’ award, he should be awarded the ‘what the f**k were you thinking you milquetoast’ award. Accepting this sort of disrespect from your woman WILL lead to more of the same. I hope the fiance reads this too because I’ve got something to say to both of them:

Angry: Yes, you’re stupid. You’re spending more emotional energy on your scumbag ex than on your fiance. Your ex isn’t that important.

Fiance: Your woman is flaky and doesn’t have appropriate boundaries on how to act in a relationship. You’ll have to set and enforce those boundaries yourself. Keep an eye on her and be prepared to give her the flick if she keeps stringing other men along - do NOT get married until you’ve resolved this issue.

Are we all feeling a bit bitchy today?

Nicely put Sok: *Like*

OP your fiance sounds lovely, why waste your time with the *ex* loser? As Sok says, he is your Ex for reasons which are more obvious now than they ever were.

Reminds me of a story: recently a Psychologist was telling us how to identify personality disorders when, to my surprise, she then showed us a picture of my ex. Case closed!

I like being friends with my ex’s. Remove all the heavy emotional ties by a break and then its very possible for most people. Also helps if it was somewhat mutual breakup without cheatng.

Well Devious, my ex and I had an amicable breakup (no cheating either side) and *2yrs* down the track I started seeing someone else - then ex got nasty, and hasnt stopped being so since (even though he remarried 2yrs ago and we’ve been divorced 6yrs).

Not only is it a charmingly BAD example for our son, its POINTLESS and frankly I’d rather not know someone who can be so childish. If it werent for our son I’d have ceased all contact years ago.

So maybe you lucked out on the ex front but in my case no such luck. Pity too, coz we were besties once

That’s what I was thinking Miss A, where exactly is the issue?

Op,

It’s quite clear that you thrived on your ex’s attention, and now you are feeling a bit lost without it.

If I were you I would cut all ties and start concentrating on your current relationship.

Kitty Boo you took the words right out of my mouth - OP you are an idiot and you should not breed so your stupidity isn’t handed down to unfortunate future generations.  Why on earth did you even need to write into Bossy over this situation.

Shane I reckon the fiance is a bit of a pussy, i mean really…

maybe the bf is just really confident, knows his fiance is a bit of a nong, loves her anyways and is waiting for her to wake up and smell the roses. He’s not necessarily a pussy.

Agreed.

A guy looking for a bit on the side as his other half is pregnant.

Won’t be the first, won’t be the last.

Are you sure you don’t mean he wanted a gaping hole to fill with his cork?

OP is just mad that she’s no longer getting attention from two guys. She needs to grow the hell up, imo.

Couldn’t have said it better.

Now I’m really looking forward to Friday Bossy. Fruit cake nom nom nom.