“Two story waterfall and volcano, liquor license could be available, many possible uses, campground, day care, restaurant,” says the listing.

Volcano + liquor license = my kind of daycare, hell yeah! Where do I enroll?

Found by: emlymai

I like it… I like it… but I feel they could be doing more with it. Hold on:

Ah, there we go.

Found by: Nina

“Oooh!” you say. “I want to live in a public bathroom, yes I do!”

To which I reply, “Sorry, dear reader, but it’s Not For Sale Wednesday and this house is not for sale.”

This former public restroom, former ammunition depot is being rented by a couple who fixed it all up and made it into a rather charming house. (I have the impression that everything in England is a rental with, like, 500 year leases, and in theory the queen could evict everyone if she wanted to, and wouldn’t that be a busy day for U-Haul?)

I raise my mug in a toast to people who can look at a public lavatory — that’s the “before” picture on top — see past 100 years of use by the public for all sorts of unpleasant things, and figure out how to fix the place up; me, I still have pictures hanging on the wall that are just where we stuck ‘em because the previous owners had nails there. Cheers!
Found by: Sandra

Finally! A place for Chair’s leggy cousins to play basketball and practice their dribbling! And their dribbling, too!

Found by: Joey. The original listing is gone, but click on the screenshot for bonus “Two million bucks and they couldn’t clean the pool?” photos.

Loveliest comment, by Jusitn: In the description, it lists the pool as “Breathtaking.” I guess that’s their way of acknowledging the flesh-eating bacteria that are living in it.

Which is scarier? Being outside, where the Spray Paint Bandit might paint you red, or inside, where the ceiling might bloop down onto your head?
Found by: Karla

Loveliest comment, by Amy: The two hats on the walls look like they’re trying to escape, or possibly trying to stage a sneak attack on the next person to use the bathroom.

Woo hoo! ParTAY! Yeah! Wooo!

Wooo… woo?

Sigh. Woo. Teeny tiny woo.

So it seems there’s some big music festival that happens in that foreboding structure in the background every year, with beat combos playing their jazz music and such, and a whole industry of locals renting out their houses for the duration. So we get yer typical grim Eastern European furnishings and serious real estate agents but with CHUU CHUUU CHUUU dee dee CHUU CHUU CHUUU deee deee Casio music to appeal to the youth, as seen in this listing (warning: music). Maybe it’s because I’ve got a cold and a head full of sawdust, but I’m having a great time setting the music going in one tab, then reading information about the EXIT music festival out loud into my cupped hands, pretending I’m a DJ.

I’ve revealed too much, haven’t I.

Oh, I don’t care! Try it! PEWOOOWWW DINKA-DINKA-DINKA Fortress was built on 112 hectares, with an arsenal of 400 artillery peaces various caliber and a system of underground mine galleries. BEEP BEEP BEEP BOOOP Fortress was the strongest installation in Monarchy that time and in military circles stands for unconquerable DINKA-DINKA-DINKA
Found by: Nina

Loveliest comment, by VM: Remember the breakup of Yugoslavia some time back…all those republics seceding from the country? Well, this is in the part that was left behind. Now you know what they were escaping.

Oh no! Chair! And Chair! Plus Chair, and Chair, and Chair! Victims of “a freak hailstorm at Flemington Racecourse,” says the article. And now I’m wondering which Chair was coming in first, and how they get them to run around the racetrack, and what happens to Chairs if they break their legs…

Found by: Angie

Oh, this is so embarrassing. In theory I’m all in tune with the Internet and what the hip kids are doing, right? But honestly, I learned about Everybody Draw Mohammad! Day from the newspaper. An actual paper newspaper, delivered to my driveway. Soooo I missed it, sorry; no excellent Mohammad Photoshop job from me this year.

Maybe it’s just as well. It really is a bit juvenile of me to be so amused by it. Let’s leave other people’s cultural and religious icons alone, shall we? Instead, we’ll just look at this kitchen. Tum te tum. Nothing to giggle at here.
Found by: Jeffrey

Loveliest comment, by stuart: A friend of mine had a similar stove once, but the “nose” was much larger and slightly hooked and it had curly spring-like things hanging from either side. He said it was modeled after the figures on Passover Island.
And yes, I know …

“Features of the property include a combined living/dining/bedroom area, kitchenette, good bathroom facilities, laundry facilities, parking (if needed) and shared use of the swimming pool,” sez the listing. Hmmm. I’m not sure they captured the true je ne sais garage of the place. Let’s see if we can help them out with that… how about… “features of the property include a combined living/dining/bedroom area/kitchenette/parking”? Much clearer!

Found by: Alexis

Loveliest  comment by Madness: This would make good housing to alleviate the overcrowding in prisons. Except for the giant door, that is.

Hey, lookee, it’s another oatmeal floor!

These Japanese apartments have the slogan of “Architecture against death,” much like I have the personal motto of “Spaghetti against confusion.” They are dedicated to the memory of Helen Keller, because… oh, God, it’s too easy. I can’t do it. Fill in your own favorite Helen Keller joke here: _________________.

On first glance the architects’ description of the apartments appears to be in English, but I speak English like a native and have no idea what

Procedural architecture is an architecture of precision and unending invention. Works of procedural architecture function as well-tooled pieces of equipment that help the body organize its thoughts and actions to a greater degree than had previously been thought possible. These lofts address and reframe, right in the midst of the workaday world, what have thus-far been intractable philosophical problems, even at times giving rise to possible solutions. Set up to put fruitfully into question all that goes on within them, they steer residents to examine minutely the actions they take and to reconsider and, as it were, recalibrate their equanimity and self-possession, causing them to doubt themselves long enough to find a way to reinvent themselves

means. Fortunately, we have Google Translate. Presuming the original to be Japanese, and translating it into English, we get

Process architecture is the architecture of the present invention does not end with precision. Works is much more than before as a very sophisticated piece of architectural features of the process equipment was considered the next possibility, help the body organize its thoughts and actions. Backward protection stages and the loft of these addresses, in the real world right, thus generating a possible solution to what so far been intractable philosophical problems at times. Put to go in it all questions of crop setting, who doubt themselves enough to find long fine them, and to reconsider such, it is actions that realign the ownership and self-poise of their to reform itself to lead the people to determine their causes.

Hope that helps. Have a nice day!

Loveliest comment, by wahnula: I spent four years in architecture school. The description is what I call “archi-babble” and one skill you must master before they let you graduate. You need to learn to express what orders your system and expose its core with a metaphor before processing the program and iterating the concept. You cannot say “I did this because I like it” or “I did this because I think it looks cool”, you need to justify your every move with archi-babble so it holds up to the inevitable pedantic inscrutability necessary for modern architecture.

Found by Kristyn, via Izismile.