Dumped for being fat. What’s wrong with being size 14?

Shane Of Sydney for PM

Exactly, Shane.

My sentiments also.

‘he’s a turd of an individual for wanting a size 8’.

I want a size 8. Does that make me a turd?

Grats on propping up her self esteem, but the issue here isn’t what the ex ended up preferring, but how he went about it. If he was pretty sure in himself he wasn’t attracted to girls of a certain size he shouldn’t have gotten seriously involved with her in the first place. If he wasn’t sure at the start but found out down the track that she couldn’t keep his attraction going then he should have saved her feelings by breaking up with her before cheating and by letting her down gently with some socially acceptable break up excuse.

I find slimmer petite women attractive, probably because I’m a slim man myself. I’m not ashamed of my preference and will continue to pursue these women. I also won’t cry a river because some girls like bigger muscular men.

The short version is, like many of these posts where men are lambasted as arsehats, is that it’s not what he did, but how he did it.

He’s no more a turd for having a predisposition for size 8’s as you are for wanting a size 14 Shane.

It’s a matter of preference and we all find different things attractive.

However, you’re right. He’s not worth it. If all he wants is a dress size, then sadly, that’s probably ALL he’ll get and most relationships require more than “You’re pretty” “No, you’re pretty” in order for them to be fulfilling and long lasting.

OP, if you are healthy, then trust me it doesn’t really matter what size your clothes are, PLENTY of people will find you attractive.

I don’t agree with you. While most think it’s “rude” to criticize someone for excessive weight, many think this does not extend to those of us who are smaller in size. Being a size 6 or 8 is not “abnormal” and can definitely be maintained over one’s lifetime, as many women in my family can attest. You don’t become that size by accident. It takes a lot of effort to maintain good eating and exercising habits but once they’re established, they become second nature because you appreciate the benefits. And yes, plenty of size 6 and 8 girls have “curves in the right places” too.

To be honest, size doesn’t matter. For me its about proportions, if you dont look proportioned to my favour, Im not attracted to that girl. This isn’t a conscious choice I make, its a subconcious choice that is programmed into my mind. For some guys you have to be skinny to be attractive, others prefer fat girls. I like proportioned. So to provide an example for girls, some girls like a guys dick to be big, thick, cut, uncut, etc etc. It just comes down to preference. So where your asking the general populus - you will receive mixed opinions. But ultimately I agree with Shane, size 14 isn’t fat. It’s got the snuggle factor for winter nights, and if your doing exercise you will find it will drop further most likely.

Shane, you are a gem.

How wrong you are. Any girl under 6 foot that is size 14 is overweight. Or a guy wearing XL. Facts are facts. I myself technically considered to be obese yet no one would ever consider me even overweight when they see me. The problem with society today is that it has become acceptable to be overweight. That fact is that the majority of people are overweight, somethign like 90%. Society just has a skewed view of it. The average person is overweight or obese. But that doesnt mean it’s healthy. but who cares, be happy in yourself, the OP obviously tries a lot harder than most people do.

“Size 14 women are gorgeous, they have curves in the right places”

You’re kidding, right? Just because a person is a size 14 doesn’t mean they’re curvy “in the right places”. They might (*MIGHT*) just be fat. Especially if they’re short. But perhaps they do just have curves in the right places, or maybe they’re tall. You can’t say that unequivocally just from hearing what size they are.

O M G, WTF has happened to MY planet!

Physical attraction makes up what 8.5% of the overall attraction ?

Or are you all really as superficial as you appear ?

No wonder your all fucked at love and relationships. Thenk Aboot et!

I love you, Shane.

Everyone else - I don’t think Bossy was saying the ex-BF was a creep because he preferred size 8. I think she was saying he was a creep because he KNEW of his own preference before he went into the relationship and strung this girl along anyway, and, more to the point, ended it with “you’re fat and you can’t f*ck a personality”. If not creepy, that’s douchey at the very least.

I’ve been a size 8, a size 14, and everything inbetween - right now, actually, I’m “in between”. My one rule for myself is that I always stay healthy. My partner’s been with me through “thick and thin” and finds something to adore at either end of the size scale. Sure, you “can’t f*ck a personality”. But you can’t love an empty body, either. If I were you, OP, I’d stick with being healthy and having a great personality, and find a guy who is the same - because that kind of guy will appreciate you.

OP asked if the wider community thought being a size 14 was bad.
In my opinion it is, butt by the sounds of things, you are working on shedding the kgs, so congrats.
Size 8-10 would be ideal IMO.

You should probably start lengthening your runs if you want to keep seeing kgs drop off, 3kms is only about 15-20mins exercise depending how fast you go, up that to 30-40mins a day.

Yeah, sure, it might well be about preference, but this guy knew his preference and yet still pursued someone who didn’t fit those preferences. What’s up with that? There is something weird going on here. I am not attracted to larger women, so, no matter what, I would not be able to get aroused with a woman I am not physically attracted to. There is something weird going on here.

I wouldn’t date a woman bigger than a size 8 so according to you I’m a turd.

But I’d rather be a turd than a loser that dates fatties.

Unless she’s 6’5”, size 14 is too big and no-one wants an amazonian.

People that say otherwise are either losers that can’t get attractive women or liars trying to prop up your ego.

Real men work hard at themselves and don’t settle.

I LOVE YOU SHANE!!!

I disagree with Shane.

I do feel that any woman has the capacity to be beautiful, regardless of their actual physical form. I feel beauty comes from the heart.

However, I personally am 5’8’’ in height and am a size 10. If I went to a size 14 I would be fat. This is due to the way the weight is distributed on my body. My arms would probably always stay slim, and so would my waist, but my legs etc… well I’d be quite chunky.

It’s all subjective. Personally, if I was a size 14 I’d look gross and unhealthy.

Why is it that naturally larger women are supposed to be told they’re beautiful while size 6 or 8 girls are told they’re anorexic? While recently we have had a shift in our mean weight, resulting in larger women on average, it does not mean that any of those skinnier girls are unnatural or abnormal in any way.

It’s bad enough that women with smaller breasts are considered “child-like”, skinny women aren’t even allowed to be proud of their flat stomach now?

OP: Your friends, your trainer, Bossy and her crowd of sycophants are all going to tell you the same thing, that you are not fat, your boyfriend is a douche and you are fine the way you are. However the reality is much different.

The bottom line is, if you are aiming for size 14, you are aiming too low. It will not give you a big enough buffer if you get sick and get another blowout in your size again. You should be aiming for the border of 10 and 12 at a minimum. This doesn’t mean that being size 14 is bad, so long as it’s with the understanding that it’s temporary.

As for the ex, you went into a relationship with a guy who has a predilection for size 8 girls knowing full well you were not his type. To expect anything other than his reaction when you didn’t lose weight quickly enough for him is naive at best. When selecting partners in future you need to exercise better judgment and look for someone who will have similar expectations to what your prepared to offer.

Shane, I’ll think you’ll agree. this really can only be settled with semi-naked/topless photos....

In reply to Cimbom....I am very healthy, exercise regularly and I am 6ft 1inch tall....the last time I was a size 8 was when I was 8!!!! Please dont be telling women that they can all achieve a size 6-8 frame when for some women they would be starving themselves to even try and obtain a size 8...be careful who you preach too!!!

shane, your a moron

I concur, Bannicks.

Some studies have suggested that the significant feature in attraction is the waist-to-hip ratio, with the ideal being the circumfrance of the waist being 70% of the circumfrence of the hips.

Also, remember that men find women attractive if they take pride in their appearance: Nice hair, manicured nails, polished black horn-rimmed glasses, etc.

Maralyn Monroe was a size 14, and she was an average sort of height, are all you poo pooers going to say she was fat?

As for anyone finding a size 8 attractive, I agree, a size 8 is fine, but if she puts on a few kg to a size 14 it doesn’t make her a bad person, I was calling the bf a turd for being that shallow that he’d dump someone after an illness because she put on a few inches around the girth.

I also said that unless you’re a real short arse, Size 14 is cool.  So if you replied with “what if she’s short” sort of thing then I suggest reading glasses or perhaps comprehension of English training.

As for you Traj, “Your a moron” You’re kidding right?  Perhaps you could crawl back under your rock and return when you’ve grown a few more neurons which you can then use to throw insults.

Pushcar Champion replied to Shane
Wed 28 Jul 10 (11:38am)

I’m 6 foot 3 and I wear XL shirts. What’s wrong with that. I’m not fat. That’s my height and shoulders that need that.

Its time everyone stopped lying, a size 14 is unhealthy and unsightly.. Please stop looking for excuses and admit that your laziness was to blame not your exs predisposition to slimmer women.. Exercise, tone up and rub it in his face at every available opportunity..

Uh 4’8?!… Try again Shane. I’m 5’10 and a size 10, a size 14 is overweight for me (and I’ve got nice broad shoulders, not a little skinny frame).
I also agree with Cimbom, I hate that in our efforts to be PC for big girls we always bash the size 8, like that’s the most unrealistic size. People come in all shapes, some are healthy and some are not, but to perpetuate REAL women have curves or perfect women are a size 6 is ridiculous!
It’s your body fat percentage and health that matters in that aspect. The healthier you are, the more attractive you are to me. I would hate to be dating someone, size 6 or 16 who couldn’t make it up a flight of stairs without being out of breath.

Real men work hard at themselves and don’t settle.

Damn straight Charlie.

For anyone in this world, if you aren’t attracting the quality of partner that you’d like, you should first look in the mirror. Fix yourself and then you’ll never have to settle.

And take responsibility for poorly screening your partner rather than lamenting it when things go bad.

Cimbom, despite what you say, the average adult woman is not capable of being a size 6 or even an 8. To fit a size 6 pair of jeans, you need narrower than average hips - an ‘ectomorph’ build.

When I was 14 years old, 5 foot tall and weighing only about 42 kilos I could only occasionally fit into an 8 and usually wore a 10. I have wide hip bones and broad shoulders - I’m a ‘mesomorph’. I was one of those girls who despite being very skinny in the legs and waist, still had cleavage and a butt. You could strip the flesh from my bones and you wouldn’t get my skeleton into a size 6.

OP, being ‘a size 14’ doesn’t really illustrate whether or not you are overweight...it depends on the height you have to go with it.

My partner is 5’10. When she was 79 kilos, she was within her BMI, and she wore a size 14. It’s a great weight for her, still a few curves but shapely.

I’m 5’3. I fit a size 14 at about 75 kilos, but for my height that is overweight and definitely too curvy!

Either way...you’re healthy, you’re fit, you can string a sentence or two together...there’s someone better out there for you.

Cinbom…

Err… Wha? Darling, you need a serious reality check.

I’m a fat girl, but even at my ideal weight - which is technically 62kg - I STILL wouldn’t be a size 6 or 8.  I’d be a size 10. My bone structure simply wouldn’t allow a smaller size.

All the women in my family have large frames and broad hips and shoulders. There is one woman in my family who was obsessed with her weight and got down to the BMI prescribed weight of 58kg (she is just a bit shorter than me).  She was skeletal - eyes sunken, gaunt features, bones all over the place but hey, she was a size 8, so who cares, right?

She suffered kidney failure as a result of her weightloss. 

So no, 6-8 is NOT achievable for all women, not everyone has the body type or bone structure to be that size.

Which size 14 anyway? Target and other cheaper department store sizes run very large. I am normally a size 8 (I just had a baby so I’m currently a 12 - 14 on my frame would be fat, for my bone structure and height) and Target size 8 clothes are far too big for me. Clothes sizes slowly creep up when you’re not looking.

Also, how is anyone a size 6 in this country? Its hard enough finding clothes in size 8 in major department stores, and they don’t seem to come smaller. But there’s always loads of size 12 and 14 available.

Shane, what you should have said is your not fat but your exboyfriend is an asshole. Size 14 you will get the last laugh because in 10 years from now your ex will be the one with the fat girl friend.

I’m about 5’5, or 5’6. When I was a size 8-10 I had a stockpile of weight at my chest, and the rest of me was extremely thin - my hip bones poked out and it was generally not a great look.

My best size is a 12. That way the rest of me balances out my chest. I’ve gone up to a size 14 too, and I carried that size quite well.

The ex boyfriend in the OP’s story is a turd not because he prefers a slimmer woman, but because he pursued a woman he knew wasn’t to his preference, then dropped her for not being the right size.

the shane we know and love!!

Why do I get the impression this OP was just trolling to get a reaction? 181 posts and counting in one day, the fat issue is BOUND to get a response.. as usual, we have the same couple of groups, the people who say fat people are unhealthy/lazy/etc, skinny people complaining about being hard done by, fat people defending themselves..

Look, at the end of the day, guys (and girls for that matter) will like what they like. Some guys are into curvier chicks, some aren’t. Just be happy with who you are, be healthy, be fit, or not, cause at the end of the day it’s noones problem but your own and anyone who thinks otherwise should get over themselves. I am a bit over the weight debate, fat people know how to lose weight, they’re aware they have a problem and don’t really need lecturing from the internet.
In answer to your question, nothing is wrong with being a size 14, but did you really need us to tell you that?

Charlie Harper replied to Shane
Actually when I was younger I was a size 14 and I was too skinny as I am 6ft, I was told by the doctor to put on some kgs as I was bony and it isnt normal to see ribcages etc (Maori background) so while a size 14 mmight be fat to some (if your extreemly short) it might be a small size for others. I think the BMI is a load of sh*t but mine was underweight

I think perhaps some people have a skewed view of clothes sizes.

While there are exceptions to the rule, the majority of women are too tall to be able to be a healthy size 6.

I’m too tall to be a healthy size 6 and I’m shorter than the average woman at 5’4.

Tall Biarch I fully agree with you. I am a size 12, the size I was when I stoped growing. When I stopped growing I weighed 57kg so underweight for someone 174cm and looked like a bag of bones. (age 12 btw)

In the 25 years since my weight increased to 75kg (still in healthy range) and yet my clothing size has not increased, the difference is I got boobs and some flesh on my arse (from my understanding most guys dont like feeling bones when a girl sits on their lap) and muscles in my legs (I excercise now where as I didnt before). In other words I got the healthy layer of flesh that is meant to cover bones that I didnt have while growing.

The key point here is since I stopped growing I have always been an adult size 12 and I know the sizes havent really changed as I still have my high school uniform and can still fit into it....it actually fits better know because I now have these things called boobs to fill out the front section

Dress size and weight do not correlate, its bone structure that determines size in a healthy individual. Why? Its the only thing that doesnt shrink regardless of how much you diet.

Of course you’re still in, Bossy. That will never change.

I’m flying to Sydney this weekend, to stalk you once more.

Shane, given the changing numbering of women’s clothing over the last few decades, Marilyn Munroe is more likely to be a size 10-12 in today’s sizes than a 14.

Though her weight varied quite a lot over her career, depending on how she was feeling at the time.

Em, I never said it’s achieveable for everyone. I said that just because obesity is increasing, it doesn’t mean that those of us who are size 6-8 are abnormal. And for the record, my kidneys are perfectly functional and I don’t have sunken eyes or “bones everywhere”. Also, unlike the women in your family, I have more narrow shoulders and a generally smaller frame. So, for me, being skinny and having curves is possible.

GlendaSings, see above. Also, I can’t fit into “average” jeans in Australia. For fitted styles like skinny leg, etc, I order them online, mainly from hip-hop fashion labels in the US, because they fit me while also having room for my ass, which size 6-8 jeans in Australia generally don’t. So I’m pretty certain that I’m not a bag of bones or anything to that effect.

Shane, I think you will find that a 1960s size 14 is a modern size 10 or even 8. Marilyn wasn’t fat because she wasn’t what we call a modern size 14, which is a vintage 16-18.

Cimborn, you just made yourself look like an idiot. Sure, fight someone insulting you with insulting a heap of people you don’t even know.

‘Whale section’

Grow up.

Marilyn Monroe was a size 14 what exactly??
She was apparently 5’5 and 53kg… I’m sorry, there is no way that is a size 14.
They say her measurements were: 37-23-36 (Studio’s Claim); 35-22-35 (Dressmaker’s Claim)… that is a US size 4-6!!
That’s an 8-10 in Australian sizes.

Sure, ideal weight/size is largely specific to body type, but I haven’t seen a healthy size 14 who is under 6’.

HAhaha I’ve used the Monroe size 14 argument on another post before.

It’s not the point that a vintage size 14 equals an 8/10 and therefore she’s not really ‘fat’. The point is that fashion sizes are not consistent and therefore are subjective - one woman’s size 14 is another’s 10. Look at the differences in international sizing! And as stated...body shape/height etc dictates whether 14 is healthy or not.

Size 6 !!!
You gotta be kidding me right.
That is almost kid sized for goodness sake!

Size 6? Is this true? I thought most men would prefer some boobs and bootie. Whatever happened to a sexy size 8-10?

Size 6???? Obviously you like women who are the size of children and have to shop in the kids section.

Who died and appointed you spokesperson for the men on this planet?  Just admit that YOU’D prefer a size 6 over a size 14.

I don’t know many guys who would actually prefer a size 6 to a 14 - that’s pretty darn skinny!!!

I think Bossy is spot on.  The guy is a creep because on some level he was attracted to her (if he wasn’t, why did he chase her?!?) then decided that he wasn’t.

Then he acted like a complete douche (I agree with you there). 

If you’re only attracted to size 6’s, only chase size 6’s! Don’t start someting then f*ck people around!  If you genuinely change your mind, do it with some grace.

This guy failed on all counts.

Gee Shaun, you sound as mature as my 12 yr old son.

You don’t need to justify your personal choices by pretending the rest of the world agrees with you.

Its proabably more unfortunate for you that your life is so limited to your perfect ideals than the OP not having the ‘petite gene’. Love that line mate by the way.

none of this is intended to be hurtful or mean, but its the reality.

You don’t have to be attracted to every shape of a woman, but you probably should respect another blokes right to.

none of this is intended to be hurtful or mean, but its the reality.

More like your reality mate. Attraction is pretty much subjective. I am constantly surprised by women my male friends find attractive. In fact, I think many women sell men short in terms of their supposed shallowness and superficiality.

“Most guys”? Since when do “most guys” like flat chested women? How many size 6 women have (real) breasts worth ogling?

I am infinitely proud of my 14C’s, and they certainly seem to be appreciated by both the male and female populace

No, Shaun.  “most guys” don’t really prefer a size 6.  It’s clear that YOU do, but you don’t speak for “most guys”.  It’s actually been shown in many different research studies that actually on average most men prefer a size 12-14.

Some men like petite women.  Some men like large women.  Most men like normal women who are healthy and happy.

To suggest that she needs to find someone who will “love her for who she is” is implying something is wrong with her, when it isn’t!

Well Shaun I disagree with you about men prefering petite women. Men DONT all prefer size 6 - there are loads of larger women with partners around.

I (a size 8-10) have been dumped in favour of larger (size 16-18) women on several occasions. These men were not fat by any means, and one was particularly hot, but they seem to like the ‘comfort not speed’ factor.

Apparently I’m pretty hot as well as being petite, but I still get dumped for ‘larger’ women. Yeah ok they did me a favour but it still hurt.

So OP dont listen to Shaun. Dumpage is dumpage, no matter who you are and it will always hurt. He obviously wasnt right for you and IS a creep for chasing you then dumping you with such hurtful words.

Just think though OP, now you’re free to meet that lovely hottie that you are destined to be with… It may not happen overnight but it will happen

A SIZE 6!!! Do you even know what an Australian size 6 looks like?! Unless she’s 4’8”, a size 6 is a bag of bones!!

Sorry Shaun but I disagree… most of my mates dislike a skinny size 6 and would rather enjoy the lush curves of a size 14 over a skinny rake any day. 

None of us are fat either.

@Robbity - that’s because some guys depending on their size like larger women as they can cushion their bodies no matter how hard and what angle they come in by, men with larger muscles and frame may feel like they would break someone petite

thanks everyone, especially semiotic, shell and apotheosis for the comments on ‘kid-sized’ unattractive size 6s.  I’m a size 6, 5’2” and perfectly healthy.  I can’t help my weight or size, I’m just petite.  My identical twin sister is the same size so it’s not that I’m starving myself.

Everyone comes in all shapes and sizes, and calling a size 6 kid-sized or abnormal (thanks DragonLass) is as bad as calling a size 14 ‘obese’ and ‘lazy’.  It’s just mean.

Although I’m confident & happy with my body, I do sometimes feel self-conscious about being so petite - and all your comments on how skinny, unattractive, shapeless and child-like I am just erode that confidence.  Why do people need to be so judgemental, critical and downright mean about other’s natural shapes????

Really, Shaun? Size 6?!

I’ve been a 6 before and at an average height of 160cm that’s UNDER 50kgs!! At that point, my ribs were so visible I looked like a skeleton. (not to mention flat chested with no booty - how is that sexy?!)

I mean, I know someone’s going to want the Posh Spice look but I wouldn’t have thought that would be a majority.

i gotta agree with shaun here. MOST guys will rather have a size 6 over a size 14 any day. lets face it who wants to be with a fat ass any way? 14 it too big.. i will bet you if the OP were to check her body weight she will be in the over weight section.. maybe closer to obese.. dont try to sugar coat it.. if she is fat tell her so she can work harder on getting to where she needs to be..

I have been a size 6 before… And apparently my boyfriend found it repulsive because I was “skeletal”, and several guys told me I was too skinny.
I am now bigger then before and apparently infinitely better. So in my experience, no, most guys don’t prefer the skeletal size 6 (obviously its going to be different if you’re quite short and size 6 is actually normal on you)

Sorry Australia, we are obese, we are one of the fattest in the world. Have a quick look around your office for proof and see what people had for lunch, if your at home, look in your recycling bin for the ratio of beer bottles, coke bottles and pizza boxes to water bottles.

So on average Australia is obese, and you are close to an average size. Certainly in other parts of the world size 14 is considered really large.

Im sure your muppet of an ex though has society defficiencies too and most people if they consider themselves better than average are quick to point out others defficiencies to boost their ego.

I don’t think he is wrong for wanting something above or below average, he is a plonker though in the way he went about it.

Just make sure your happy about this situation for you have dogded a bullet

You can’t be serious? A size 6 is not THAT skinny. Especially nowadays where sizes have been inflated so much to cater to increasing obesity. A size 6 now is like what a size 10 was about 10-15 years ago. I’m 5’4” and wear a size 6 to 8 depending on the store and I can assure you that I’m not a bag of bones. I also have hips and an ass nicer than many women who are a few sizes bigger than me. Believe it or not, you can be skinny and have curves. Go look at women in southern Europe and the Middle East for proof

Woah woah… What’s with the size 8 bashing here? I’m 1.6m at 50kg and I’m a size 8. It’s personal preferences.

Hi Shaun, let me guess, single right??? And you live at home?? And spend all day on the net trying to find a model to date you??

Size 14 and on is want “real” men want!!

Size 6? yuck.  I dont get the attraction to skinny women.. Sex with a skinny chick is nasty and bony and just doesn’t feel as good as girls with some meat on their bones.

My personal theory is “under-endowed” men gravitate to smaller girls because it makes them feel less inadequate.

Give me a well proportioned size 12-14 and I’m in heaven…

A LOT of stores don’t even stock a size 6.

Apparently a few of you replying to Shaun have more of an issue with women being size 6 than with anything else he said. That’s pretty sad. While I disagree with his comment that most men prefer very petite women (based on scientific research that’s not anywhere near cutting edge and has received media attention on and off for a decade or more) I cannot help but raise my eyebrows at the negative tone that “size 6” brings out from you.

There are all shapes and sizes of people, and people have preferences for different appearances. Furthermore, women who are size six shouldn’t be made to feel awkward about being petite! I’ve been with women smaller than size six and they really hate hearing comments comparing them to children: it’s hurtful. There’s nothing wrong with being petite. They didn’t starve themselves, they ate the same foods and portions that I did and we exercised together, so no, they weren’t in the gym constantly either. It’s just natural for them, just like it’s natural for some people to be ectomorphs, mesomorphs, or endomorphs (though these terms are far too simplistic to be useful outside of everyday ‘for the sake of argument’ conversations).

As for people (male and female) who are attracted to petite women who are you to judge them? I mean really, folks, do you think what you find attractive at a glance is going to apply to everyone? Shaun doesn’t get it and neither do you.

Hey Stats,

The ratio ofbeer bottles, coke (well, PepsiMAX actually - sugary softdrinks and diabetes don’t mix too well) bottles and pizza boxes to water bottles in my recycling bin is pretty terrible (even allowing for pizza boxes being non-recyclable). However, that may be more to do with the fact that I don’t waste my money on buying bottles of something I can get from turning on the tap. Denominator approaching (or at) zero gives a pretty bad ratio. 

Sorry Shaun, that’s the reality for you but please don’t speak for all men.

100% of my male friends prefer women with some curves to hug. They don’t want to hurt themselves on a bag of bones. They think 14-16 is ideal.  I’ve asked them this as a size 26 woman (happily married, thanks).

Like I said above, I’ve never seen a size 6 in the shops. I have, however, been small enough that a size 8 was too big but I literally couldn’t find any clothes tagged smaller (other than jeans, which *do* run smaller in the specialty shops if you don’t mind paying extra) so I just had to put up with baggy clothes. And at that size I was 5’7” and 48kg. And yes, very boney, but not anorexic.

Anyone who says men like size 6 girls - where are they finding them? And more importantly, where do those girls shop!?!

Hahaha!  What rot.  I am 170cm tall, I dont think I would ever fit into a size 6 regardless of how little I weighed.

Also, since when have men had any idea about womens sizing?  I bet the size 6 he is thinking of is probably more like a 10.

I’ma Size 6 shaun because genetics made this way and I can’t gain weight as much as i’d like to.  But you know what.... I would NEVER date a creep like you because all you look at a woman for is a deluded self-centred gratification.  you would never love me for the complete package that I am - including smart, sexy, in a great job and able to have a conversation beacuse all you would want see is my body - women, like men, are the full package so why just got for a portion when you could have the whole thing…

I also have hips and an ass nicer than many women who are a few sizes bigger than me.

And that makes you better than women who are bigger than a size 6? Women like you make me sick. Your all about competition.

Having to shop in the kids section is hardly something to be proud of lovey!

Get off your high horse ( hope you fall off it).

Terri, but being able to shop in the whale section is?

Terri, but being able to shop in the whale section is?

Didn’t know there was a whale section. Think you have the wrong species mixed up

@apotheosis: Why would you assume that a thin girl doesn’t have breasts? I’m a size 8 and I have 10DD breasts, a la naturale!

My sister is a size 6 and she has amazing 10C breasts! Complete with curvy hips and an arse to die for!

So don’t assume that thin girls weren’t blessed with the goods.

Size 14, why are you asking Bossy and the rest of us? As you can see by Shaun and Shane, above, opinions vary on this topic.

Why do you care about what an obviously creepy guy thinks and why are you asking a pack of strangers if it’s OK for you to feel OK about yourself?

Look in the mirror and say to yourself every single day, I love an accept myself exactly the way I am, work on being good to yourself and hopefully, someday, you’ll start to feel it.

Chances are he’s found something wrong with every woman he’s been with.

You mean there are perfect women out there?

I doubt it.

His loss for sure.

Maybe he also prefers an asian or european woman? I hear and have read many aussie men going for them as they are the perfect size and all, oh and more subservient.

Obviously with third world countries, marrying a westerner would be like marrying a millionaire to us. So definitely no loss to womankind in the west. They are welcome to them

What just because a girl’s thin, she can’t have any personality?  Why are people so judgmental of others just because they’re thin or fat or somewhere in between?

Exactly right S - as a size 10 inching down to a size 8 I take great offense to the implication that I don’t have as much personality as someone who is a size 16 or 30, just because I take pride in my appearance doesn’t mean I can’t also have a great personality

S and DJ I think you’re over-reacting no one said size six girls don’t have personalities. The OP’s former boyfriend actually said “you can’t fuck a personality” which just goes to show how much he knows about sex, good sex is all about in the mind.

OP, find a man to have sex with that doesn’t think sex is about him but realises it’s about both of you, and your mental connection, and you’ll be ALOT happier, believe me. You won’t care what size you are any more, you’ll feel happy all the time.

I do think the more obsessive you become about your looks and your weights, the more hung up you are, the less you have to offer as a person though.

Spot on S. All thin women are not brain dead bitches, just like all fatties - sorry, ‘curvaceous’ women - aren’t lovely and kind.
It’s a dumb generalisation and as a size 8 it pisses me right off.

a) I broke my hip & pelvis and was bed ridden for 3 months & on crutches for a further 4 months. I managed to maintain my size 8 frame… & rest assured, I am blessed with the hereditary fat gene, I just chose to eat accordingly.
b) Just because you’re thin doesn’t mean you don’t have personality. Fat chicks only have more “personality” because they’ve got nothing else going for them.

Ouch?

Meh.

Come on Bob fess up, you are the OP’s ex-knob aren’t you…

Bob, sweetie?  Shut up.  You’re full of the proverbial.

“bob i didn’t say she shouldnt lose weight or that she not overweight. I said she shouldn’t buy into the claptrap that she;s not worthwhile or a potential girlfriend just because she;s carrying extra weight”

But you are telling her what she wants to hear rather than what she *needs* to hear.  Sure the guy might be an arsehat but there is an underlying truth that fatties are less attractive to men.  It is obviously a problem for her and will continue to be a problem for the reasons I stated. No amount of sympathy and rationalisation will change that.

It’s nothing to do with her feelings of worthiness/worthlessness. If anything the douchebag boyfriend has given her a wakeup call.

I find this bizarre! Im a size 12/14 depending on where Im shopping and I certainly dont have a roll on my body. Im curvy and I’ve been told by my boyfriend I looked ugly (in a teasing way)when I was a size 10 and that I shouldn’t lose any weight (though I think I could lose 5 or so)

People are so judgemental and most men I know, have no interest in stick thin as there is nothing to grab. Try listening to Spit by Kiss, says it all.

Bob,

Who the hell are you to make a judgement call based purely on her dress size?

You don’t know her height, you don’t know the distribution of her body weight, but you think you can call her fat because she’s a size 14?!

The body SHAPE of someone doesn’t change with their size, it’s like saying because by making a triangle bigger we can turn it into a square. If OP is naturally bottom heavy, her bum is always going to be bigger whether she’s a size 8 or a size 18.

And as for “hourglass” as being the only healthy and desirable shape for a woman to have, someone obviouly told you that so you’d only bother one part of the female population and leave the others to get on with their lives.

What a Failstatement.
What goes on in your head bob is not what happeneds in all male heads.

Whereas first impressions of a larger lady might not get you past that first impression you certainly can.

I have an interesting tale to tell of my later highschool days that i found very interesting about myself.

One of my good mates had a sister which was as circular as she was tall. she had numerous other qualities that werent popular aswell. She was teased (as all people are for one reason or another in high school) i (playfully) teased her too, regardless of her size and look she’s still a human being, i felt i was capable of being a friend to her but in no curcumstances anything more, she was (typically female jk) and had alot of emotional issues (as they do) and i was happy to lend my ear and eventually was able to talk to her about anything myself (turns out this is what friends do) a few years down the line everyone still making fun of her myself included and a male friend went through my/our list of friends enquiring “Would you go out with her?” when my friend reached this chubby female friend i said no instantly like i didnt even have to think about it, i then said hangon wait… holy shit you know what i would. from that day on she was no longer OFF the list of potentials and her appearance hadnt changed, we had a few little hookups but it was alot like the one that got away once she hit adulthood she had changed completely and was super slim/healthy and desired by all.

Moral of the story is i fell for her regardless of her apeparance, i fell for her personality.

Sappy but true.

Once guys(girls too i spose) shake the social bullshit of having candy on your arm or how things “LOOK” to others the sooner they can move on with a genuine loving and appreciative relationship to all that count (You and your partner).

“but they are only going to tell you what you want to hear” That’s a hard one, easiest way to answer that question might be to say “no ones perfect” or “theres plenty worse out there” however my personal thoughts on this is you are who you are and you should be happy with who you are without changing a thing and you should be proud of who you are warts n all.

Ah Bob - you don’t speak for all men there bucko, a lot of men I know are not attracted to petite women, they like larger girls, ribs are for the dog, steak is for the man (I hear this all the time from them)

bob its people like you that cause women to have zero self esteem and eating disorders because they think they are unattractive to the opposite sex. i’m sitting here eating my lunch and actually put the rest of it in the bin after reading your comment. god i hope you’re single, i feel sorry for your girlfriend or wife if you have one. she’s going to be out on her own as soon as she puts on a little extra weight, god help her if she has a baby.

by the way, im a size 10 so don’t go and say that it was a good thing i didn’t eat my lunch as it might add to my “rolls of fertility concealing blubber”.

Hi Bob, just thought I would help you with your search for a fertile female.

The basic indication of fertility is waist to hip. The waist should be 20% smaller than the hip measurement (the bigger the difference the more fertile she is). If she doesnt have a dip in at the waist, sorry it doesnt matter if she is a size 8 or a size 20, science says she isnt that fertile.

To all those poster saying that some men prefer fat chicks; it’s not just the fat chicks who need to lower their standards but also the guys WHO HAVE NO CHOICE but to lower theirs. It has been shown in numerous bodies of research that the attributes men find attractive in women are largely universal. 

Cognitive dissonance anyone?

It’s amazing how many posters here are in denial.  As a fat chick’s weight increases, more and more men will regard her with cold asexual indifference culminating in outright revulsion. It may not be a very comforting thought but why deny the reality?

Many attractive women are highly self-conscious about attractiveness and are extremely self-critical.  That’s how they keep themselves from slipping.  Of course, many other women are in major denial about how fat they are, and this denial is one of the major factors preventing them from making progress in their love lives.  They end up posting on websites like this and for some reason everyone ends up just reinforcing the delusion.

And as for “hourglass” as being the only healthy and desirable shape for a woman to have, someone obviouly told you that so you’d only bother one part of the female population and leave the others to get on with their lives.

Actually, leaving “the others” who wouldn’t even give worthless pieces of sh!t like him the time of day anyway is the best thing they could possibly do.

*@ f u bob* - it’s people like you who simply accept that australia is one of the most obese countries in the world and consequently allow a size 14 to become the ‘average’ size -stop normalizing obesity! Size 14 is one size away from ‘plus size’!

I hate to agree with Bob but this is pretty true. Overweight girls have almost no shot, even with fat guys. That’s in Australia though - in America or the UK you’ll have boys all over you.

Words of wisdom right here folks.

Sorry Rose but we don’t know when that phrase was thrown out there, he may have started out with all the socially accepted phrases then got a torrent of msgs or calls or visits by this girl and fed up blasted back with that just to stop the stalking, we don’t know when it was used, the OP threw it in for effect

I hear what your saying Bossy, I just kinda think he didn’t say that. That sounds like an embellishment to me.

I’ve heard guys say that before, but it’s not the sort of thing a guy would say to a girl. There’s unwritten rules of what guys say to each other, and what they say to girls, that’s how it’s always been.

I’ve been with women who had a few extra kgs before. I’ve laughed in bed all night with them. Personality and intelligence are more attractive to me then anything else. But sure, sometimes you see someone who really turns your head, we all do.

A friend of mine told me, he was only willing to go out with a girl who puts the same effort into fitness as he does. I don’t entirely agree with him, but I can see his point.

This is just a case of mismatched attraction, why dwell on the weight issue, or make it solely about a weight issue.

I’ll never look like sean connery in his bond years, but who gives a toss? I look like ME and I’m happy with that

I gotta say, it’s the personality that makes the root worthwhile.

Otherwise one may as well jump on a horizontal dancer.

Shane, it’s men like you that make me wonder if there’s any point.

Are you saying that you would turn down a gorgeous creature just because she had all the personality and/or brains of a peice of cardboard?

I’ve got to say, I’m disapointed.

What about those born with ugly personalities but gorgeous bodies?

Or worse, people like me who pretty much lucked out in all departments? Are you really going to overlook someone like me because I’m moderately average looking and have the personality and caring nature of a feral cat?

My draw card is that I think farts are hilarious and I can get beer on command. That’s all I bring to the table.

Relationships are about more than personality Shane, some are even about just clinging on to whatever sucker will have you.

Warning for the comedically challenged-The above views were typed with tongue in cheek, except the bits about my draw card. Really, that’s all I’ve got.

u have a point here

Haha!! I thought you were doing a guided meditation for a second there, too funny Conrod

Again with the rude comments about thin people!  Thin people are not necessarily stick figures or rakes, any more than fat people are lazy and food-obsessed. People come in all sizes and there is no need to be so derogatory towards one body type!!!

“Next time you see the douche bag tell him if he wants to root a rake he should go to friggen Bunnings and buy one”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA - thats the funniest thing i’ve heard all week!

“Next time you see the douche bag tell him if he wants to root a rake he should go to friggen Bunnings and buy one”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA - thats the funniest thing i’ve heard all week!

“Next time you see the douche bag tell him if he wants to root a rake he should go to friggen Bunnings and buy one”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA - thats the funniest thing i’ve heard all week!

ROTFLMAO!!!!  Brilliant answer Conrod. 

OP your ex is a looser, I should know I’ve let my guard down once too often as well to morons who talk you up for some quick easy sex because they can’t get any from ‘skinny chicks’ and apparently we’re and easy target.

I’m a size 18, healthy, exercise daily, and all my vitals are digsustingly healthy as my GP likes to say.

For me to even be a size 14, I have to live a diet 24/7 365 days a year forever.  And seriously I can’t be f##cked anymore.  I’ve done the bulemia, the Weight Watchers, the diet shakes, every fad diet under the sun, and after 43 years of fighting who I am, I don’t give a fat rats clacker what anybody thinks of me anymore or what society thinks I should be. 

And I’ve finally found a fabulous guy who loves me just the way I am, love handles and all.

Conrod, you are without a doubt a champion! Loving the mental picture of that. OP, I personally would follow Conrod’s advice without hesitation!!! I had a similar situation to you once, and he tried to use that same excuse, even after I had lost 8kg. He is a loser, not worthy of your time. Enjoy the new you!

RPB - the reason they see fat chicks as an easy lay is that they are usually so grateful to be looked at in a club full of size 8-10 while their fat rolls are on display, they have to work harder to get a skinny chick as we know we can get better than them in the club so they go for the easy root with the fat ugly one

S, didn’t you know?

The amount of feelings you have is directly proportionate to the amount of weight you carry.

That’s why any woman size 12 or over is a ‘real woman’ and the rest of us are twigs, sticks, beanpoles, rakes and vapid size 0’s with no strength to carry our personalities and a hand bag at the same time, let alone the ability to be offended by being refferred to as lesser women because of our bodies.

But you’ve got to admit, Conrod’s coping mechanism for the OP was pretty awesome.

Mistress D, you are awesome. I’ve always wanted to know what I am, if size 8s aren’t “real women”. A cyborg perhaps?

Thanks for noticing Kate.

Perhaps we are cyborgs....That would explain why I get that funny feeling in my stomach when I think about buying a new graphics card.

I just hope I can get some sort of blue tooth attatchement for myself, everything is better with blue tooth.

Until then, I’ll just keep singing along to Britney’s “No longer a girl, not yet a woman” to get me through the day....