Are men as insecure as women?

Sorry but i think women are far more insecure about physical/ personal attributes.

What men lie about/ disguise:
Manhood size
Number of sexual partners
how mnay beers they drank last friday
Bravery - punched a shark - really

What men do about this is:
exaggerate, lie and tell tall tales

What women lie about/ disguise:
Number of sexual partners
Boob Size - why is there a wonderbra
Dress size/ Jeans size
Skin Colour, Pimples, complexion, hair

What women do about this:
Lie, buy clothes that don’t fit to either drop a dress size number or have a bigger cup size, can’t go out without makeup, dye their hair and get a fake tan.

In todays society id rather be a short, fat, balding, hairy back man than fat, flat chested women.

Chris Rock said it best,

women are the biggest liars,
look at you,
you got on heals, you aint that tall,
you got a wig on, your hair dont look like that
you got a wonderbra and your ti**ies aint that big

Hence the greater insecurity

KISS, and why is it woman do that? Because of societal pressures on them to be tall, have great hair and big boobs. While I accept that not all of that pressure comes from men, most of it does. Woman also have much more pressure to look good in our society than men do.

KISS and yet this blog has made it very clear that if a woman doesnt wear makeup she is rejected which mean woman are liars for disguising their flaws with makeup and men are fools for thinking a women with makeup is more attractive than one who isnt hidding her flaws. Sounds like the worst catch 22 in history.

KISS,

True, many women lie about that.
In all honesty I’d rather be a flat, fat woman because I could always lose weight and take care of my appearance and look presentable so that I can remain decent.

In the end its all about maintaining one’s appearance, health and how they present themselves.

It is however, easier to be a man in today’s world. All you need really is money and there will always be that group of women who will be happy to be whoever you want them to be, however you want them to look, who will flock to you.

Whereas if you were a rich and beautiful (or either) woman you would still be expected to pander to a man’s ego, his sense of self and identity and insecurity about you being somehow ‘better’ than he is.
Then you’ll have to deal with those issues which he should be dealing with himself.

But I’m an upfront woman and I don’t lie about my partners, boob size (What for? Its so silly, jeans size (like I said, if I’m fat I can lose weight and if a guy can’t see past that, really, he’s not worth even a look. By the way I’m a size 12), skin colour (I’m fair skinned and I hate tanning.), Pimples (none), Complexion (Thankfully I have excellent, unblemished smooth skin. All the women in my family have baby soft skin. My mom is 60 and her skin is smooth as a baby’s bum.), hair (I have awesome long hair. :D)

What I do about these:
I just don’t bs people and expect people not to bs me.
I think that’s why I make some very loyal friends and have a very loyal partner.

If I get fat I acknowledge it and lose weight.
Okay, sh*t happens, you blow up (who doesn’t) a little, you take charge, lose those pounds and don’t bother with lying to yourself.

I don’t wear make up either because my skin looks great without it.
Wearing make up means you dullen and strip your skin of its natural oils and protective layers, and ages it at a faster rate.
That’s why its a vicious cycle, once you wear it, you ALWAYS have to wear it.

I just wear a 2-in-1 moisturiser and sunscreen because of the harsh Aussie weather and lip balm (not gloss).

I don’t dye my hair, have natural dark chestnut brown hair and I don’t fake tan because its fugly.

I do love the outdoors - cycling, walking, badminton, boat rowing.

Devious, it’s nothing to do with ‘society’ at all - it’s all about competing with other women.  There’s even another article on this site right now further proving that point!

To Devious

Society, made up 50% of women, does not care about what you, as an individual, look like.

Attractive women have power and they use this to get things, be these material possessions, their way, their choice of relationships or control within the relationship.

Men have other forms of power, such as prestige and wealth (apparently society does not pressure them to have this - pressure must be a girl thing) which, in the total package, can also be combined with looks.

He however, uses his looks in a different manner to a good looking woman. He will not be wined, dined and showered with presents. He will not be a prince put on a pedestal, nor will he use access to his attractive body as a control mechanism within a relationship.

It is likely he will still be the giver, to some attractive woman (the receiver) of all the above, even though he himself has looks.

So instead of complaining that society says you have to be beautiful, instead state why you, personally, want to be beautiful.

I suggest it is because you want the power and all the fringe benefits that goes along with it.

That’s because you’ve got a small....Oh sorry

Gutless isn’t really an insult about the body because it’s not literal. It’s more about implying that someone is lacking power of some kind. That’s how I view insults about the penis as it’s seen as an organ of power so to say it’s diminished or that someone is a dickless wonder (one of my favourites) is more an insult to their lack of ability than physical attribute.

That said, I shy away from those sorts of insults unless someone starts with me first. I think men are just as tied up in their own bodies as women are if not more so because men appear to be more proud, so any insult might hurt more.

Does it ever affect or has it ever affected you Shane?

So it is 2010, 40 odd years into Gender Equality and with this we have women freely and openly empowered to make (derogatory) comments about men’s genitals, be it size, sexual performance or in Mistress D’s case, some bizarre (Feminist 101) association to power.

I see this every other night on TV, in print media, daily conversations and in comments such as Mistress D’s.

All this without reciprocation, like what Gender Equality is suppose to be about.

The noble human quality of being willing to get back what you give out seems to be missing from many women of the post-feminist generation.

So please do not misinterpret me not making such comments about your female genitals as there being no size or sexual performance variation between individuals, because there in no precedence for this in human anatomy.

Rather consider my actions a continuation of the noble male quality of not saying things, regardless of their truth, that offends the sensibilities of women.

I think it’s odd that for the last 30 odd years women have publicly listed attributes of males that turn them off - overconfidence, overly competitive, insensitive etc
Then after that list is rounded off, accusing a male of being “half a man” “not a real man” etc is the biggest insult a woman can throw at a man, usually at guys who no longer exhibit the above attributes.

An organ of power?  I don’t see a penis as an organ of power.  Never even thought of it that way.

I had a wife who would tell me I had a smnall dick, at it never bothered me because it says more about her than me.  It also something that I’ve never been insecure about.

To me an insult to my character is way more offensive than physical insults.  But that could be because I’ve got the body of a greek god

but the insecure ones try harder and are more fun to sleep with!

It’s like the TV show says; Are you smarter than a 5th Grader… But in this case, let’s see you so called “Adonis” status hey?!?! Someone has tickets!!!

I tend to disagree. I’m not insecure about any of these. At least not the point where it would bother me if used as ammunition against me. I mean, in order…

If I’m too short for her, then she’s too tall for me. As much as I like nice, long, sexy legs, being with a woman taller than me just feels unnatural, probably because I’m used to shorter women.

Poor? What do I care what she thinks. I can afford to live comfortably myself and still do nice things with/for my lady. If she expects me to have more money, I’d suggest she looks into her own personality flaws on that, because what more could she expect I need short of throwing cash her way?

I know I’m a bit fat, thats why I’m making the effort to lose the fat and build some muscle. I readily admit it, and its hardly an insult.

Dumb? Well, if she’s not smart enough to put forward a well considered arguement instead of resorting to lame insults such as these, she’s hardly in a position to criticise my intelligence.

If she wants to call me unambitious, she clearly doesn’t know me very well, and if the relationship means much to me that would hurt much more than her insult.

Ugly. My standard response is along the lines of “I’m dating you aren’t I? Says more about your taste than my looks.”

Ethnic? Hows that insulting?

Boring? So is shopping, shoes, romantic movies and Top40 music, but I wouldn’t pull her up on it.

Common? Given I don’t get where you’re coming from there, I’d hardly be insulted if I was called it.

I’m high up in my day job and I run several companies on the side as well. I’m quite happy with all my job statuses.

But thats because the “average” woman IS fat.....size 12-14 i read somewhere. When combined with average height data that puts most women on the heavier end of the BMI scale.

And before anyone jumps down my throat im just stating facts...im not passing judgement or saying this is a bad thing

What I don’t understand is the link between “you’re a fat chick” with “I am insecure about my own shortcomings”.

If she’s a fat chick then that’s a fact. It doesn’t reflect on me. Moreso, it shows a society that has determined that fat is not acceptable and you are aligning your insult with this societal determination.

Same with women insulting men calling them short or small penises. Again these are socially determined norms meant to signify status. They don’t reflect the woman’s insecurities - only her lack of imagination when trying to insult someone.

We all have insecurities. These come from not measuring up to social norms. We might be overweight (even slightly), under 6 feet tall, not thin etc. But these aren’t really borne out in the use of insults.

Charlie Harper - the problem doesn’t lie in making an observation that a woman might be fat. The problem lies in using that fact against her in an argument that has nothing to do with her weight.

Also badboybenny, size 12 is not fat compared to average height data. I’m saying this as a size 8/10 girl who’s on the lower end of the BMI scale so I’m not saying it to make myself feel better. If you’re short then size 12 might make you fat, but you’d have to be pretty short. I’m 170cm and as a size 10 I’m ‘skinny’ - if I were size 12 I imagine I’d be well within the healthy BMI range, perhaps towards the higher end, but still in the healthy range.

By all means, fat people (not just women) need to acknowledge they’re fat, none of this “curvy” rubbish we talk about these days (NB: there is a difference between women that are actually curvy and those that are just overweight). But let’s be honest about it. Size 12 is not fat for someone of normal height.

63% of aussies are overweight or obese, fat is becoming average.

I think some women are more so than some men and some men more so than some women. It all depends on the individual and the circumstance at the time.
I was taught that sticks n stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me! It’s the persom hurling the words that has the problem. As long as we remember that then we can just feel sorry for that poor individual and how sad and insecure and lonely they must be instead of getting upset by it!
Then that just upsets them more which is a bigger win for you! 

It’s so angry!

And of course men can never be manipulated like that? want a man to do something squeeze out a few tears, they don’t know how to handle it, need your bed put together well get him to come over and then reward him for it, sex is a very good motivator and manipulator and we women have been using it for years so don’t think you have the handle on it when we can and do return the favour

If she cries to try and get her way, just let her cry; leave the room and she’ll soon follow with even more of a show; don’t buy into the theatrics. If you feel you’re being blackmailed or coerced with sex, just threaten to leave and get it elsewhere; don’t give her a monopoly and she’ll soon realise that she’ll have to play your game to keep you. If she decides to leave then let her go… she wasn’t worth it.

Fully agree with you with respect to the guy you described. I have a father who pulls others down to make himself feel better. It took me a long time to realise that it was an issue with him and not anything I could control and personally I am a lot happier for allowing his snide comments to just wash over me. [Its not me on anti-depresants after all, its him!]

There are a lot of people in this world like my Dad who are so insecure that the only way they can make themselves feel “worthy” is by making people feel “unworthy”, once you learn this you will be much happier. Especially as it means they have recognized that you are some how a threat.

but why lie? you get caught out eventually, especially if your meeting someone online. Same thing about lying about your age. It’s never a good sign to me if a man has to lie about his age either

I dunno how people can meet people off the internet. You get lied to under your nose, how much more can people lie on the net? (especially men). I’ve done the online thing, with dating sites- never again. I don’t go clubbing anymore either, was good when I was 18 but after some drunken pig pinched my arse and I hit him(getting thrown out for doing so too ) that was it. Shows how many people are willing defend men like that

If your short, your short. I don’t have an issue with short guys. I only have an issue with people who lie and pretend. Honesty is attractive enough in itself for me, but from guys I’ve met,seems honesty and being upfront is too much to expect obviously. While everyone is insecure, I don’t see what is difficult in being honest about who you are. If you meet some girl and don’t happen to be interested cause your simply not attracted to her or feel like you didn’t click, be upfront about it and say your not rather than lead them on. Rejection sucks, but least you wouldn’t be wasting people’s time.

There is nothing wrong preferances, we all have them. Like as all these aussie men who like asians instead of aussie women, as they are more subservient and aren’t into all that ‘materialism’. That is their preferance. Reality is though, even asian women are materialistic. If they weren’t, they’d be walking around in sneakers and wearing canvas handbags. I’m pretty sure they like their versace shoes and handbags.I have seen it. Doesn’t matter whether its aussie women, asian, russian or fijian.

I’ve gotta say though, as an aussie gal, I’m not into cars, I don’t have my license for one and nor will I ever be getting one. I have a scooter, just enough to get from a to b (there’s enough maniacs on the road as it is). I’m not into big houses (I live in a tent, lol! joke). I will be getting my own small place when I move overseas(although I won’t meet an aussie guy again,I’m not moving just cause there is a shortage of them either, I have my reasons) in the next year or two (a cottage, maybe). I’m not big on clothes shopping. I hate shoe shopping (however nothing wrong with a couple of pairs of good shoes, but it sure sucks having broad feet). I don’t give a flying fart in space about football. It certainly doesn’t take a genius to know money doesn’t buy happiness, so being rich is of no importance to me (we’ll all be dead one day anyway, but some will be dead rich). I do like to have a few nice things, which I think everyone is entitled to. I don’t see anything wrong with that

I’ll continue to be honest(I don’t do mixed messages).I have enough respect for myself to not let myself be used.Most men are crap in bed anyway, for all their showing off when it comes to it, their absolutely hopeless. Rather stick with a rabbit,best sex ever.

To be honest,I actually thought older men would be be better, but most seem to say their separated but are really married. Well either that or their poor wives had to throw them out as they were such bastards.It’s sad that married men spend their time chasing other women, when most wives spend their time keeping the bastards happy.Soon as they say that separated word, I walk away (reminds me of when I went to the doomben race I went to a few years ago and some guy who attempts to chat me up and obviously had one too many drinks started baffling on about being separated and going through some custody battle, I walked off). I hate these guys who chat up and flirt with all these women, their usually the ones who are chatting everyone up. Womanising pieces of sh!t.

I would not even give a married man the time of day, not ever. Same goes for these separated ones ie. as in still married. If other people are man enough to get a divorce, so should they before looking for someone else. Personally, I think separated men actually want to get back with their ex’s, only because they know they will be looked after while they f#%k around and the women sit around at home like a mug.

These ones who just drift along, who say they want to end a marriage, but don’t. I have no respect for that. Don’t have any respect for anyone who can’t sort themselves out.

Guess its lucky that most of the guys I have met I haven’t been interested in, as most of them are arseholes. Can only get worse with people procreating

I’m glad I have no interest in ever settling down with anyone. I’m perfectly happy on my own and always will be. I’m not like some of these needy, pathetic women (like my sister) who will do anything to get and hold onto a man. While she has little self esteem and confidence, I guess she will continue to take anything she can get. No wonder people like her find themselves in these dead relationships with the deadset losers.

I don’t believe there is one guy out there that wouldn’t cheat. No matter how much they seem caring, doesn’t mean they won’t. It’s really only a matter of time before they do. That’s just how men are.

No guy is worth getting hooked on. If I f%#k up at least I will have the satisfaction of having f#%ked up myself. Gotta be better than someone else f#%king up my life for me. If other people want to f%#k up their own lives, they can.

I’ve had one boyfriend (he broke it off with me, he was getting sick of me feeling insecure)so better than none. I’m way over him though as it was 4 years ago now. He bought me a committment ring (only cause I suggested it lol! as he wanted to know what it was he could do to prove he loved me and wanted to be with me). So I don’t think he really wanted to prove himself (as men never seem to think they need to). If he really cared, he would of stuck around even if it took a lifetime.Least that’s how I see it.

I never want another relationship. Relationships are good for men, they get some sap to cook, clean and baby them. What do women get? cooking, cleaning and a little boy who can’t keep it in his pants. No thanks!

You’ve actually got these size 6-8 women who seem to think their better than women who are bigger than that who range from size 10-16, even considering the fact some clothes aren’t even standard sizing.It’s as though they think they are the only ones in the world who can can look good. Women who feel the need to criticise, judge and get jealous of other women. I will never understand why women like that are competitive. Pretty sad really. Thank god I don’t and won’t hang around those sort. I actually find it amusing that they say they don’t like being labelled rakes, but seem to think its appropriate and reasonable to label them whales and all those lame names(that are really getting old now) that kids back in my high school and primary school days use to use.I notice too, some women still call other women “slags” and “skanks” and some other I cannot think of right now.

And, as if men don’t have their own “specifications” anyway. You are only kidding yourselves if you think otherwise. Maybe you should go and have a read of the male commentators on “Dumped for being fat. What is wrong with being size 14?” on bossy’s blog, men who prefer size 6. If that is not being shallow, then I dunno what is.

Preferences is different to specifications. Nothing wrong with preferences, we all have them.

I have hang ups about men(with good reason) and always will. I’m not afraid to admit it. I may have anger issues I have never dealt with too but what the hell! quite frankly, I don’t care. No one is perfect.

The ‘perfect’ woman/man does not exist.

My requirement is actually a minimum of 6ft. :]

I understand it’s probably shallow - but I’m 5’9 myself, and like to wear heels occasionally. While I’m not saying I’d write a guy off based on his height, I’m more likely to notice a guy that isn’t below my eye level.

I think that males are just as insecure as females...I think females are just more likely to show it. While it is normal for ladies to talk to their friends about their insecurities, it isn’t for (most) guys. That being said though, the level of insecurity varies from individual to individual. There will always be the asshats who think they’re top dog, and the poor sods who have no self esteem at all.