Random Jottings of a Book and Opera Lover

The Good Granny Guide - Jane Fearnley-Whittingstall

I said yesterday I would review the Good Granny Guide  so here goes.  Sent to me in an eclectic mix of books by Short Books which also included a book all about the friendship between a man and an orang utang, so I think eclectic is the right word to use.

As I have recently become a grandmother (I may not have mentioned this...) I asked for a copy of this  title and it is simply wonderful.  Witty and wise and full of commonsense and good advice this will be staying on my bookshelves.  I appreciate this is a niche market so all of you who are not grannies can skip this post if you so wish.   Jane F-W is a grandmother of five and so has hands on experience and has also gathered first hand tips from other grandparents and their families in different situations.

When I became a mother I was all at sea, totally panic stricken at the thought that I was responsible for this scrap of humanity. Doesn't matter if you are a scientist, a genius, a tea lady, a hairdresser or a barrister (I nearly put down a nun, but then I thought you would have serious problems in that case), old or young, the arrival of a new baby reduces us all to gibbering panic stricken idiots and this is where grandmothers come in.  Please don't think I am ignoring grandfathers at this stage, it is just that I usually find most first time mothers want their mum around, I was no different.  I so remember her being there, making me cups of tea, cooking me meals, reassuring me that yes, Kathryn was breathing when she was asleep etc etc etc. Just knowing she was there made me feel better so when my utterly gorgeous sublimely beautiful granddaughter, Florence was born, and I received the call for Help, off I went.  For three days I made the parents stay upstairs holed up in their bedroom, got up in the night when the baby was crying and would not feed, reassured them when they were both in tears, cooked and cleaned and lost count of the number of times I belted up and down the stairs.  At the end of three days when things were settling down and the baby was flourishing I went home, with aching calf muscles and totally exhausted and took to my bed for 24 hours.  I was thus refreshed and reinvigorated and ready for the fray again.

There are certain unwritten rules which apply to grandparents and if you are wise and savvy you pick them up without having to have them pointed out to you.  When I read this book, I laughed and nodded as it all hit home.  The first two below are mine own, the third cited in the book often, is one I really also agree with.

Do not give advice during the pregnancy. Listen, nod and agree. When daughter and son in law reveal plan for their ordered life and how they are going to manage with the baby and work from home, nod again - sagely this time and utter words along the lines of 'great, marvellous, you seem to have it all sorted'.  And then go away and quietly contemplate in corner as you think they won't know what is going to hit them.   

When the baby arrives agree that he/she is the most beautiful baby in the world. And I tell you, every grandmother knows this immediately. It is a fact, rock bottom solid and nobody can tell you otherwise.

Do not attempt to impose your old baby routines on the new arrival or tell parents of same. Long time has passed since you were a mother and the whole outlook on parenting has changed.  Pursed lips and 'well, you were dry at 18 months' or 'you were on solids at four months' are comments which will not be well received.   Quite often parents will ask you for your opinion and what you think and when this has happened to me I always preface my response with, 'well it was a long time ago don't forget but I did this....' and then leave it.  

 "A child's grandparents are not just two spare sets of parents; understudies waiting in the wings for their big moment when the parents slip on a banana skin.  Good grandparents may be prepared to do everything a parent does and more but they should never forget that the children are not their own"

I am a naturally authorititive bossy person and love to organise events and people, and there have been times in the last few months when I have wanted to put my oar in and say something about the way of dealing with certain matters with the baby, but I have not said a word, unless asked.  Those out there who know me well will appreciate that this requires an effort of monumental proportions, but I am finding it easier as each week goes by to relax back as it is clear to me that their parents are doing a good job, settling into parenthood beautifully and simply adore their child.   I know they will ask me if they need advice or help so I keep quiet. 

Not only is this book full of comments and information from other grandparents, it is also packed full of useful information on games, entertaining the children, taking them out and about and written in such a wonderful style.   It is clear to me that Jane F-W is a super granny and I bet is adored by her grandchildren and her own children as well.

Difficult to put into words what I felt when Florence was first put into my arms.   The love that swept over me knocked me sideways and each time I see her I become more and more besotted with this child who beams and smiles and looks genuinely happy to see me when I arrive. The smile that lights up her face when she realises this gurning woman in front of her is, yes grandma again, fills me with joy. Yesterday she fell asleep in my arms and before I popped her down for her nap I just sat and held her close and found tears of happiness trickling down my face.   I loved being a mother and now I love being a grandmother.

It is clear that the author of this book feels the same way and that is why I found it such a delightful and helpful read. 

My thanks.

Tuesday Thoughts

I am off to London today and promise faithfully will be reviewing, if not this evening, then tomorrow morning.  I do feel guilty when I don't write about all the lovely books I have just read but just soo busy at the moment and still recovering, in a good way, from the glorious musical weekend we have just had - Mahler, Wagner and Verdi.

One book I am going to write about soon is The Good Granny Guide by Jane Furnley-Whittingstall which I read with huge enjoyment a couple of weeks ago. Not only is it witty and funny but packed full of sensible advice for Grannies (and Grandpas) anywhere.   As I am now a besotted and doting grandmother, will be cuddling Florence in a few hours, this book has already been read from cover to cover and is....but I will stop there and write later.

Apropos of nothing, I heard and saw a postman half an hour ago so opened my front door in my lobby to see if anything there as they quite often just leave books etc outside my door but no, nada.  Just popped in the kitchen a few minutes ago and lo and behold there were two parcels on my draining board! My window which was open a few inches had been pulled wide and he dumped them inside. Now I know that the local post office have delivered endless parcels of books over the last few years and know me and my location well, but I was rather taken aback to find these perched on top of the dishes.

"The post office is a wonderful establishment!  The regularity and dispatch of it! If one thinks of all that it has to do and all that it does so well, it is really astonishing....so seldom any negligence or blunder appears. So seldom that a letter, among the thousands that are constantly passing about the kingdom, is even carried wrong - and not one in a million, I suppose, actually lost!"    Emma - Jane Austen

I bet the residents of Highbury never had their post shoved through their kitchen windows....

Daniel Radcliffe to star in The Woman in Black - Telegraph

Radcliffe, who described his new job as ''thrilling'', will play Arthur Kipps, a young lawyer who is ordered to travel to a remote corner of the UK and sort out a recently deceased client's papers.

via www.telegraph.co.uk

This looks interesting - book scared me witless so not sure I will actually go and see this but sure it will be a huge success. How can it be otherwise?

The Proms have started - hooray!

Am sitting her cogitating on the glories of the Proms - Mahler on Friday, Wagner on Saturday and tonight listening to Verdi.  I have written about the opening of this year's season and, in particular, Der Meistersinger which I attended last night, over on Random Arts so do nip over and have a look.

Back to book reviewing tomorrow.

Flying Visit

Just a quickie to say thanks for all the interesting and complimentary remarks left yesterday and will be responding to same when I get back from London.  This is my last splurge of the year as I will be watching my pennies in order to save for Australia in 2011, but I am off to the Albert Hall where, with other Friends of Welsh National Opera, I will be sitting in a box in the Grand Tier where we are promised food, drink, coffee, tea et al from 3.30 pm onwards.   I am looking forward to it enormously as the utterly wonderful Bryn Terfel is singing Hans Sachs, a role he was born to sing as far as I am concerned, and will be surrounded by Wagnerian and Bryn lovers so could not wish to be in better company. Staying the night with my family which gives me another chance to cuddle Florence, then home tomorrow whence I will post and rave about it all.

My only worry is that I might keel over in the middle of act 2 as I awoke at 6 am this morning as usual. Wish I could stop doing that but it seems impossible and as the opera starts at 4.30pm (the overture is about 15 mins long for starters) and we get out at 10.30 pm the likelihood of this happening is quite strong.

Off I go....

Random Thoughts on Random

I have been blogging for four years now. I remember one of my very early posts was all about the World Cup 2006. I was bemoaning how poor we were, we hadn't got a hope in hell of getting beyond two rounds, it was all the manager's fault, the manager was sacked, the tabloids had a field day lambasting the so called 'golden generation' and the conclusion was that we were crap at international football. Fast forward four years, I am still blogging and the English football team is still  crap.

But in that four years, I have learned such a lot about the blogsphere, how from book blogging being sneered at by the Guardianistas and critics, we have emerged to become sought after by mainstream as well as smaller publishers, these publishers send us books and ask our opinions, but apart from all this, I have found new friends and my life has been enriched by all the correspondence and comments which I send and receive in response to my postings.  Some people find this rather sad and think I am a lonely soul glued to the screen and chatting in cyberspace but it could not be more different.  Yes, there are many of you I have never met and, sadly, probably never will but there are plenty that I have.

I am a member of an on line book group, have been for five years now and have met many of our members/bloggers who travel fairly extensively. One of our group, who lives in the north of England, has met up with several of our American members. Last summer one of our Californian based ladies came over on a visit and I had the pleasure of meeting her and travelling around Cambridge and visiting the church which is featured in DL Sayers Nine Tailors, ending up dining in hall at St Johns. We have regular meets in London and this usually ends up with a tea party in a watering hole of our choice and we are very vocal and very noisy (well, that's usually me) and have a great time. I have attended concerts with another, had meetings at the Globe theatre and visited Haworth and Bronte country with others.

Three years ago I was in Chicago and met up with two fellow bloggers, we had never met before but got on like a house on fire and in a few weeks am meeting with a lady from New York who has one of my favourite blogs.  And so it goes on....

All this is a very long preamble to some thoughts I have recently had on Random.  I mainly review books but like to sling in my Random Ramblings and tell you about my life, my children and silly things that happen to me or that I have done.  I will chat about my holidays and my commuting days (now thankfully over) and anything else that may take my fancy and I have been giving some thoughts recently to the highs and lows of hits and visitors and wonder if there is a pattern to all this.  I have come to the conclusion that there isn't. Sometimes I will write a post which I think is one of my best and about a book and/or a subject I love but when I check the next day there are no comments, nobody has anything to say about it. All bloggers will know the feeling of disappointment and dismay when this happens.  Another time I will write about my visit to the dentist or falling down the stairs and spraining my ankle and lo and behold a shoal of comments and witty remarks from visitors all over the world.   Write a post on a Sunday and you won't get many visitors - well, at least I don't - but on a Monday morning everyone is back.  This is one pattern I do watch carefully and if I want a particular book to receive attention I hold the review back until Monday or Tuesday.

In short, I never know what is going to attract comments and comments are the lifeblood of any blog.  Sometimes, I write a piece with a question at the end, or about an emotive subject which I know will engender a response and I admit I do this quite deliberately to see if I am right and, if I am honest, to reassure myself that you all still love me out there.

But the comments left or not left do not give a full picture of how one's blog is doing. It is the daily statistics which are really interesting and they will show you how many visitors you have had, what they have read and where they come from.  I have visitors who have visited me because of a mention or a link on another blog, some stumble upon me because they have Googled a book title which has led them to Random and others come from search engines and feeds.   I sometimes wish that all these 'hits' could be translated into comments and then I would be a happy woman indeed but not everyone wishes to leave a remark. I, too, have visited other blogs which I have read with great interest but not said anything but I am trying to make sure that I do this now.  Reciprocity is the name of the game.

As an example of the above, you will see that I recently reviewed a book called Jeremy and Amy about a man and his love of animals and his especial love for an orang utang called Amy.  Had some comments left, not many, but when I check my stats, the number of hits this review has had is enormous.  An awful lot of them come from Friends of Monkey World (set up by the author) and my review is obviously up there but because I am not a Monkey Friend I cannot log on and see the link, nor any comments that may have been left on that website.  It is good, however, to know that it is being read by so many people.

I also have on Random a visitor's map which shows the latest visitors each day and where they have come from and that also is fascinating. Today I have had visitors from the Congo, Nairobi, Perth, Adelaide, Finland, and Auckland to name a few and it also tells me how they found me - the visitor from Finland was checking out Mrs 'Arris goes to Paris, somebody in Indiana in the US was googling 'Georgie Pilson' from the Mapp and Lucia books and, well I will stop there.

What I would really love is for those flyng visitors who call by perhaps just once or every now and then, would leave a comment or a message and just say hello - it would be simply great to hear what they have thought or think of Random but whether you do or not, it is good to see you here.

Blogging is such fun.

Sad - moi?

Thriller Round up

I have been having a bit of a thriller/crim fest recently during the heatwave which has now broken, I am glad to say, and spent a lot of my time while it was so hot curled  up in my bedroom,  the coolest part of my flat, reading and generally being slothful.  I am indebted as ever to all those lovely publishers out there who keep me supplied with books.   Many of the titles that arrived recently were unfamiliar to me and I know if I didn't get review copies I probably never even know about them.   So here is a round up of recent reads:

Sizzling Sixteen - Janet Evanovich.   I gather that there are a lot of books featuring Stephanie Plum, the heroine of these books.  In fact, sixteen, and lots more in between as well and I am surprised that these have passed me by.  Stephanie Plum, with her cousin Vinnie (mmm sounds like a film title to me) run Plum Bail Bonds and it seems he has run up a huge gambling debt with a local mobster who kidnaps him and threatens to kill him unless the cash can be produced.  Nobody seems particularly interested in helping Vinnie but Stephanie sets out to find a way. She is aided by Connie, the office manager, and retired Working Girl, Lulu. 

Totally silly and very amusing and fast moving, I really enjoyed this book and though, at first, I found the flippant one liners a little disconcerting, once I got used to the machine gun fire style of chat, and tried hard to ignore the fact that Stephanie is descirbed as feisty - aaaaagh - I began to warm to it all and settled down for a fun read.  Fun it was and this author  is now on my list to keep an eye out for.  No end entertaining.

The Siren - Alison Bruce.  I recently reviewed Cambridge Blue by this author. It had just been publsihed in paperback and if you want to see what I thought about it, then click here.  I had found it slightly confusing in places with a couple of strands in the plot I could not work out and will say straight away that her second, just published in hardback, is much better.

We meet DC Gary Goodhew once more, the youngest detective in the Cambridge Police Force who is so driven and intuitive that his immediate superior is keeping a close eye on him, as well as a file locked safely away in his office clocking his every move.  With good reason, as DC Goodhew is one of those annoying maverick type cops who prefers to work alone and cut corners.  Without these kind of  characters I sometimes feel the detective genre would come grinding to a halt.

Kimberly Guyver and her friend Rachel Golinski have a secret which they hope to have left behind them, but when a car is dredged up from the sea in Spain with a dead body inside and the identification of the corpse brings events closer to them than they would like, flight is the only answer.  But before they have a chance to disappear, Rachel is murdered, her house burned down and Kimberly's little son vanishes.  Although distraught at the disappearance of her son, Goodhew feels Kimberly is keeping something back and is being uncooperative with the police despite the dangers facing her.

Much better plotted than Cambridge Blue and, as with a new series, it takes a while for the characters to bed in and for the reader to begin to warm to them.  Not sure I have warmed to Goodhew yet, but am getting there and his relationship with his old school mate and his grandmother show his off duty side and make him a much more rounded personality.  These books are settling in nicely now and I shall be looking forward to the next one in the series.

The Dogs of Rome - Conor Fitzgerald.  My thanks to Bloomsbury for sending me this as I had noticed it in their catalogue and thought it sounded interesting.  A detective novel set in Rome. I love Italian detective stories, am currently enjoying reading the Montalbano books of Camilleri and adore those of Donna Leon set in Venice so was looking forward to this.  It is headed 'An Alec Blume novel' which makes it sound as if there are quite a few of them, but on checking it looks as if this is the first one so goody, another one on my list.

Chief Inspector Blume was born in the USA but lived with his parents in Italy since a child.   A sulky sullen teenager he has to face reality when his parents are killed in a bank raid.  The police are sympathetic to this suddenly orphaned teenager and when his landlord tries to throw him out of his home, they manage to 'persuade' him to forfeit rent and leave the young Alec in situ.

The police become his friends and replacement family and as an adult he joins the force and rises to Chief Inspector.  

One hot day when he is enjoying lunch he receives a call telling him of a brutal murder not far from the corner of Trastevere where he is sitting.   Arturo Clemente, an animal rights activist has been brutally stabbed; his wife is an elected member of the Senate and Blume is put under pressure from on high to clear the case up quickly, they have a prime suspect to hand and all looks cut and dried.  Of course, this is the start of a detective novel so we know this is not the case and Blume has to fight to regain control of the investigation.

Very well written, good characterisation and lots of plots and sub-plots which lead him to a meeting with the local member of the Family, who it transpires he may have more links to than he realised or wants.  Another good read and number two is, I hope, on its way.

I have tried to be fairly succinct with these three titles as I don't want to give too much of the plot away so I hope that these three mini-reviews wet your appetite and make you want to try these authors.  All of them new to me and I enjoyed them all very much.

Thanks again to Bloomsbury, to Headline and Constable ....keep them coming

So what do you read on Holiday?

At this time of year when the sun is shining, schools are breaking up and everyone heading off on holiday, the newspapers break out in a rash of articles on Beach Reading wherein the Great and the Good give the readers their list of summer reading or those books they will take to the beach when on holiday.

Now the first thing to remember when reading any such articles  is that they are all lies.  Every critic or A-Z list celeb will tell whoppers when answering this question. Why?  Because nobody wants to admit that they will only be reading thrillers, romances or, heaven forfend, chick lit when they are away. If a lofty minded critic from one of the upmarket papers (usually the Guardian) tells you he is taking Proust or Tolstoy with him on his sojourn on the beaches of the Maldives or  St Lucia you know he/she has their fingers crossed behind their back and you are being told a big fat lie.  I mean, come on, who is going to lie on a sun bed anointed with Factor 30 or whatever, iced drink to hand, trying to look cool and glamorous and reading A la recherche de Temps Perdu or War and Peace?

When I go on holiday, my criteria for choosing my books is their total lack of intellectual stimulus to my little grey cells. Though it has to be well written, I want something I can wallow in, enjoy and then toss to one side, either in the bin or leave at the hotel/villa for somebody else to pick up and read.  They have to be paperbacks.  No hardbacks on the beach as they are much less flexible, if you roll over on them while sunbathing you could crack the spine or tear the dust jacket, paperbacks are more forgiving.  Never take a book with you to the beach that you love and cherish.  This is folly as the chances of getting it covered in sea water, sand and sun oil are too high and you do not wish to wreck a treasured tome.

No, it has to be disposable reading that goes with you.  Books that you have no relationship with and don't mind waving farewell to as you head for the airport and your flight home so that, in theory, your suitcase is lighter than when you arrived.  This does not always happen of course as I hate parting with books and sometimes lug them back with me, but on the whole I am pretty good at leaving stuff behind in the hotel reception so that there is something there for new arrivals.  

There is an etiquette to this by the way.  Sometimes I have taken a book or two away with me from the hotel because (a) I read it and want to keep it or (b) didn't have time to finish it and want to do so.  Now this is allowable but only if you leave replacements behind.  This seems to be an unwritten rule and it is surprising just how many people comply with this though there are always a renegade or two who will be sneaky and just take a volume with no return.  But you will be safe and secure in the knowledge that these offenders are lower than the dust beneath one's chariot wheels and that you will never see them again

Note: Apropos of this and going off at a tangent, I was taking a whole pile of books along to the big Book Sale for the NSPCC a week or so ago and when I got to the drop off place in my local supermarket, I spotted six John le Carre novels.  Old and tatty and as I have just discovered his total brilliance I really longed for them. I wrestled with my conscience for a few minutes and then brought them home with me.  I do feel rather guilty about this but I am smothering these feelings by telling myself that I have, in the past few months, taken about sixty books, all of them new, to the dropping off point so I feel it is a fair exchange.  Also, as the sale is not until November I hope to have read them by then and will take them back.  I am still slightly dubious about the moral logic of this but hope that Random readers will understand my actions.  I hope...

Anyway, back to Beach/Holiday reading.   I am not venturing far this summer, I have my trip to Australia planned for next year and have decided just to stay at home and take it quietly and save my pennies. This has not stopped me planning my reading and over the last week or two have read a lot of books which I would categorise as Holiday Reading and which I would have taken with me if I was off to foreign climes. Here they are:

• The Bed I made - Lucy Whitehouse (review of this in next few days)
• The Dogs of Rome - Conor Fitzgerald (review of this in next few days)
• The Siren - Alison Bruce (review of this in next few days)
• Sizzling Sixteen - Janet Evanovich (review of this in next few days)
• Corduroy Mansions - Alexander McCall Smith (no review of this as I am sure by now everyone knows that these books are like - gentle, unassuming and, dare I say it, this was was ever so slightly dull)
• The Good Thief's Guide to Vegas - Chris Ewan (reviewed recently)
• The Arms Make of Berlin - Dan Fesperman (reviewed recently)
• Hunt for the Bear - Derek Haas (reviewed recently)
• Going Home - Harriet Evans (superior chick lit)
• Juliet - Anne Fortier (inferior chick lit)
• Butterfly's Shadow - Lee Langley (great read review of this in next few days)

Ok so we have eleven titles here that I have read over the last week.  Bearing in mind that on holiday you have more leisure time and also remembering a lazy week in Turkey last year when I read eighteen books, this is not going to be enough.  So check out the bookshops in the airport for the Airport Specials, new books out in large paperback instead of hardback. I always do this and come up with something every time.  However, if you don't find anything extra and you have that nasty feeling in the pit of your stomach that you are going to run out and you cannot rely on books in hotel being for you (I have read some dire stuff when I once found myself in this situation), then you should pack a backup book or two. Books that are familiar that you have read dozens of times, but which you would happily turn to again and again.  In my case Persuasion and Emma would find a place in my suitcase together with Jane Eyre.

Of course if you are away for two weeks then you really have a problem.  Years ago when my then husband and I used to stay in Italy or Spain for this length of time with children, my suitcase could barely be lifted off the ground as it used to be lined with at least 14 books with back up.  Looking back now I can understand why my husband used to sometimes get impatient with me....

So off you go and remember all I have said above.  To sum up:

• plenty of books for beach and airport
• paperbacks only, preferably not too large or heavy for taking to beach
• nothing precious, only books you don't mind losing (are there any?)
• nothing intellectually stimulating

One final word - Holiday Reading does NOT equal rubbish books or writing.  I sometimes feel that books in this category can be dismissed in this way, but a badly written book is no fun either at home or away.

Have a good holiday everyone.

Hot hot hot

Sorry everyone too hot to blog.   Though I don't suffer from hay fever as badly as I used to, my eyes are still bad, itchy and sore and I have just spent the afternoon in my bedroom which is cool and shady.  Fell fast asleep and just coming to now. Had planned all sorts of things to write but it may have to wait and, lovely o lovely, there is a broadcast on BBC2 tonight of Simon Boccanegra by Verdi.  Not one of his operas I am really familiar with but it has the most glorious father/daughter duet in the first act which always reduces me to tears and of course the main reason for watching is that Placido Domingo is singing the title role, which is for a baritone.

This man is a genius. He started off as a baritone and now that his tenor voice is going he is reverting back to his lower and middle register which still sounds rock solid to me.  And this man is SEVENTY next birthday.

Unbelievable.

Also unbelievable that the BBC are actually putting this on an accessible channel all evening.  I may have to lie down again to recover.

Back tomorrow I hope.

SUNDAY - Having watched this my feeling that this is one of my least favourite Verdi operas has been reinforced.  The lovers are particularly wet and annoying but the heart of Simon B is, naturally, in the title role and here was Placido quite magnificent, not only was his voice wonderful (though having watched a broadcast of Don Carlos on the BBC and finding Villazon also magnificent when he was anything but in the House I wonder if the BBC had mucked about with the sound levels which they do) but his acting was top notch as always.  Full of humanity and warmth and at the end a standing ovation from the audience.  There was a sense of farewell about it all as I think this will be the last time he sings here.  I could be wrong. I hope so.  After all I saw him sing Siegmund in Die Walkure just a few years ago and was totally stunned by his performance and the sound of his voice.

Wonderful

Mrs Ames - E F Benson

"Mrs Ames is queen of Riseborough society. Sceptre firmly grasped in her podgy little hand, she reigns supreme in a world of strawberry teas, high street gossip and riotous insurrections by misguided pretenders like Mrs Altham, Miss Brooks and dear cousin Millie.  But, Mrs Ames is ten years older than her husband and beginning to feel all her fifty-seven years"

Yes it is E F Benson, one of the latest reprinted by the Bloomsbury Group and yes we are in familiar territory as the reader starts enjoying the Tilling type infighting and jockeying for social position, amusing and witty as always, but gradually realises that there is dissatisfaction and vague unhappiness underneath it all.  Mrs Ames husband, Lyndhurst, forms a romantic attachment to his wife's cousin Millie, who is married to the local doctor, Dr Carter.  They flirt in a gentle, understated way.  Millie is a woman who makes men feel desirable and such fine fellows:

"She gave him one of those shy little deprecating glances that made him involuntarily feel that he was the most agreeable companion.   'Ah you are being wicked now.....you understand better than anybody".

He becomes drawn into a semi-serious flirtation which takes place over the summer months.  It gradually becomes noticeable to Mrs Ames and it is then that she has to sit down and ponder on her feelings for Lyndhurst, and realises that she is fond of him, she loves him and has no intention of letting anything further happen.  She takes herself off for a series of restorative treatments in order to rekindle her husband's interest but despite her best endeavours, this is a failure.  She banks on her husband's love of his easy life, his position in the small town where they live, the years they have been married and is sure this will stop him doing anything reckless.

However, matters progress further than either Mrs Ames or Dr Carter thought they would and both of the middle aged lovers decide to leave together.  Cousin Millie had entered into this flirtation in a light hearted manner as a mere diversion from her rather boring life but something had crept into her consciousness, had disturbed her:

"Neither wifehood nor motherhood had awakened her womanhood.  In that she was a woman she was that most dangerous of all created or manufactured things, an unexploded shell, liable to blow to bits both itself and any who handled her.......the heart of it had never been penetrated by the love that could transform its violence into strength..."

For most of this novel I found Cousin Millie a rather irritating character, one of these helpless feminine creatures who drift rather selfishly through life using beauty and charm to get their way.  Nothing mean or spiteful about her, just an acceptance that she was beautiful and desirable and that she did not have to make much of an effort to be loved.  But danger lurks and she feels real emotion for the first time and, though Colonel Ames was drawn to her, it is made clear that he is afraid of being too heavily involved and when it comes to taking the final step, has huge doubts:

"....for a moment all these trivialities stood away from him and for an interval he saw where he stood and what he was doing - the vileness the sordidness, the vulgarity of it..."

Mrs Ames is not just another Mapp and Lucia type gossipy novel.   It has very many funny witty moments, particularly a Shakespearian fancy dress party where all the ladies decide to keep their costumes a secret and then all turn up as Cleopatra, the usual jockeying for social position and the petty intrigues and gossiping, but ultimately this is rather a melancholy, sad little story.

"Millie you are not going to see Lyndhurst....the tension of those wide childish eyes slowly relaxed and her head sank forward and there came the terrible and blessed tears in wild cataract and streaming storm.  And Mrs Ames looking at her felt all her righteousness relax; she had only pity for this poor destitute soul ...........slowly the tears ceased and the sobs were still and Millie raised her dim, swollen eyes. 

'I had better go home, I wonder if you would let me wash my face cousin Amy.  I must be a perfect fright'.  'Yes dear Millie' said she 'but there is no hurry we shall have some tea'

'I don't see how I can ever be happy again' she said.

'No Millie; said the other 'none of us three are that exactly.  We shall all have to be patient, very patient and ordinary'

Life will go on as usual and gradually Colonel Ames and Cousin Millie will get used to seeing each other again and this will fade away, though I cannot help but feel that while Colonel Ames will be happy to settle back into his quiet routine, Millie will not.  She has been awakened to deeper feelings and I feel that her happiness in her previous life will never be enough for her.   As I finished this book I thought of Edna Pontellier in The Awakening by Kate Chopin, another woman whose deeper feelings were aroused by a summer love affair.  There was no way back for her, so what will happen to Millie? 

Val Hennessy reviews this today in the Mail under the heading "Desperate Housewives go to War".  She says it is 'funny, astutely obserbed and scattered with exquisite descriptions - sublime satire'.  Well it is all she says and yet I feel she has totally missed the sadness and broken dreams portrayed in this book. Yes it is funny but it is so much more.