Disillusioned kid's Seasonal Message

Fuck Queenie. This is where it's at boys and girls. Your annual dose of festive rambling from the big kid with the attitude problem.

Like last year, the build up to this year's festivities has been accompanied by an undercurrent of nonsense emanating from the dark recesses to the right of the aisle about how Christmas is under attack from eeevil baby eating secularists. Unfortunately being a vegetarian, I'm not allowed to eat babies (it's a sacrifice, but one I'm prepared to make). Nevertheless I imagine I'm exactly the kind of person they're thinking of when they try to hang this shit from the tree.

Like many things, this nonsense has been imported from the States, where it has some serious currency within the burdgeoning Christofascist movement. Remember, these are the same eejits who go on about "intelligent design" and get suspiciously excited about the activities of homosexuals. Ironically their ideological antecedents, in the form of puritans like Oliver Cromwell actually tried to ban Christmas. This shouldn't be all that surprising. These people aren't interested in festive cheer anymore than they're interested in fun at any other time of year. It's just the latest stick they've found to beat liberals and ethnic minorities with, and a stick is a stick no matter how much tinsel you wrap it in.

In reality, Christmas as we have come to know (and love?) it, is actually a pagan festival which was hijacked by early Christians. There is no evidence that Christ was born in the winter (leaving aside questions about whether he was born at all), indeed that evidence which does exist suggests a birth in the summer or early Autumn.

That said, I don't blame them for wanting an excuse to party through the depths of winter. The weather's crap (unless you live in Australia) and summer might as well be a different planet. We all need something to stop us throwing ourselves in front of the nearest train. Lots of other religions seem to have been on the same wavelength, which explains the proliferation of religious festivals at this time of year.

None of the foregoing should be taken as a rejection of seasonal festivity. For all that the season's characterised tackiness, brainless consumerism (even - in the most egregious cases - the explicit celebration of capitalism) and obnoxious children I have to confess that I actually quite like the whole thing. And not just because I'll spend a large part of it drunk. Maybe it's just because at heart I'm a big kid who never grew up or maybe it's a naive hope that the season of goodwill contains the seeds of a better world, but whatever it is, you'll excuse me while I enjoy my vegetarian Christmas lunch. If tacking some kind of religious significance - whatever faith that religious significance may originate from - onto that is was floats your boat then good luck to you. Just don't expect the rest of us to sing from the same carol sheet.

Happy Christmas, Chrismukkah, Duckmass, Hannukah, Hogmany, HumanLight, Koruchun, Kwanza, New Year, Saturnalia, Winter Solstice, Winterval, Yalda and/or Yule!