Hot Links Served When We Feel Like It

August Announced As 'Geek History Month'

63 Things You May Not Have Known About Arnold

Mysterious British Man Always On Television

Aug 4th 2010 By Asylum Staff

Hot, Fresh Links -- Served When We Feel Like It

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Tiger Woods: 10 Image Rehab Lessons He Could Learn From Kobe Bryant
Take extensive notes, Mr. Woods ... (Bleacher Report)

Bad Yearbook Photos Collects the Worst School Pictures (Huffington Post)

Orange Cats Can't Jump (I Am Bored)

Top 10: Aussie Movies for Men (AskMen)
A Day in the Life of Star Wars Characters Via Lego -- Part 1
A rare glimpse in the life of a stormtrooper (The Chive)

The 6 Greatest Things Accomplished by Dead Bodies
Overcoming rigor mortis (Cracked)

The Hidden Dangers of Bears
Don't end up like Christopher Robin ... (Holy Taco)

10 Actors Who Are TV Cancer
Get off my screen! (Screen Junkies)

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Aug 4th 2010 By Jeremy Taylor

Wearing Red May Be Key to Life

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Our happy hour fact to amaze your drinking buddies with.

Wearing the color red almost always leads to positive outcomes.

Previous studies have confirmed the widely held view that a woman in red is highly attractive to men. Now research published in this month's Journal of Experimental Psychology has proved the color works both ways. In an experiment involving women from the United States, China and Germany, females consistently found photos of men wearing red, or having a red frame, to be more attractive than men accentuated by any other color.

Here's another reason a fellow should favor red attire: Other studies, involving sports, suggest that referees favor competitors who wear red. There is also evidence, independent of this, that in individual sports, a red uniform makes victory more likely.

Nevertheless, there are still times when wearing red can't be recommended. When hanging around angry bulls, for example.
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Aug 4th 2010 By Asylum Staff

Guy Gear of the Week -- Personal Submarines and Burglar Blasters

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Uncrate, the buyer's guide for men who want to be more awesome, once again brings us its best of the week. It's full of stuff to blow your rent money on.

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http://www.aolcdn.com/ke/media_gallery/v1/ke_media_gallery_wrapper.swf

Guy Gear -- Personal Submarines and Burglar Blasters

Amazon Kindle 3 ($140-$190)
The all-new, smaller eBook reader gets a sharp 6-inch e-ink display and a slick graphite case.

Guy Gear -- Personal Submarines and Burglar Blasters

Bradley Propane Smoker ($100)
Powered by propane and four AA batteries, this portable powerhouse burns Bradley Flavor Bisquettes, letting you create tasty smoked treats anywhere you like.

Guy Gear -- Personal Submarines and Burglar Blasters

Burglar Blaster ($600)
Having troubles with the neighborhood kids? Booby trap your house with this self-contained unit that uses a passive infrared intruder detection system to monitor areas up to 2,000 square feet, and releases an eye-destroying 4 oz. of pepper spray when triggered.

Guy Gear -- Personal Submarines and Burglar Blasters

Butch Bakery Cupcakes ($18-$50)
Tasty treats you don't have to be ashamed of loving, with camo, wood grain, houndstooth, plaid, checkerboard, or marble chocolate discs on top instead of sissified sprinkles.

Guy Gear -- Personal Submarines and Burglar Blasters

Dodge Mopar '10 Challenger ($39,000)
Powered by a 5.7-liter HEMI V-8 with cold-air intake, the Mopar '10 is a hood-scooped beast that takes the retro styling to badass territory.

Guy Gear -- Personal Submarines and Burglar Blasters

"The Goonies" 25th Anniversary Collector's Edition ($28)
Join Sloth and Chunk (don't forget the Baby Ruth) and watch this Blu-ray with special packaging, an included board game, original storyboard reproductions, a 1985 souvenir magazine reprint, and more.

Guy Gear -- Personal Submarines and Burglar Blasters

Margaritaville Liquor Chiller ($200)
This man-appliance stores and chills up to 25 ounces of your favorite liquor at a frigid 10 degrees, serving it with the press of a lever.

Guy Gear -- Personal Submarines and Burglar Blasters

Personal Submarine ($2,000,000)
This 2-man underwater vehicle lets you go 1,000 feet under the sea for up to 6 hours. See if you can do something about that oil leak while you're down there.

Guy Gear -- Personal Submarines and Burglar Blasters

Porsche Design Knives ($210)
Open your Amazon packages in style with these sexy knives. Made by the Swiss Army gurus at Wenger.

Guy Gear -- Personal Submarines and Burglar Blasters

"The Simpsons" Duff Beer & Flaming Moe Energy Drinks ($9)
Get amped up like Homer with these energy drinks from Springfield.

Guy Gear -- Personal Submarines and Burglar Blasters

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Aug 4th 2010 By Brian Fairbanks

Nude Bachelor Party Stunt Brings in the Coast Guard, Air Force

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Dave Lloyd and his 20-something friends were just trying to have your run-of-the-mill bachelor party in Bradly Stoke, Bristol, U.K. Then Lloyd's best man, 25-year-old Nick Woore and his crew of revelers had the inspired (read: completely inebriated) idea of going out on a fishing expedition -- in the nude.

Cut to mere minutes later and their Fishing With Johnson is all over, thanks to a Royal Air Force chopper that took the above, now-classic photo.

Commenting on the leak of this very, uh, private photo, a spokesman for the Coast Guard quipped, "It was a stag do with some boys from Bristol. They were anchored off Mumbles Head." He thought for a moment, then added, "We had a good laugh and joke at it all. They appeared to have a few little tiddlers."

Luckily, their "tiddlers" were digitized out in this photo. Keep reading to see how this simple stunt turned into a national spectacle -- and for more penis jokes, of course.
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Aug 4th 2010 By Asylum Staff

Sacapuntas Looks at Winners and Losers of Marijuana Legalization

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Every month in New York City, comedians Ray DeVito and Dan Allen present Sacapuntas, a combination stand-up and storytelling show featuring the funniest people around.

DeVito took note when New Jersey joined California in legalizing medicinal marijuana, so for the latest Sacapuntas, he asked comedian Hannibal Buress, whose new comedy album is currently number one on iTunes, to discuss who wins and loses when herb is legal.

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Aug 4th 2010 By Steven Romano

Before 'Expendables,' Stallone Rubbed Felt Elbows With Muppets

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With Sylvester Stallone's magnum opus "The Expendables" coming to theaters next week, audiences will once again be reunited with the Stallone we know and love best: a take-no-prisoners, gun-wielding, no-nonsense badass with arms the size of boa constrictors.

But underneath his gritty exterior lies the soul of a jovial individual with an appreciation for wholesome and witty show tunes.

America became acquainted with this side of Stallone in his 1979 appearance on Jim Henson's "The Muppet Show," where he sang a unique rendition of "Let's Call the Whole Thing Off" with an anthropomorphic lion.

He could have at least done a solid for Kermit by giving him a cameo in "Rocky III."

See the video after the jump.
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Aug 4th 2010 By Dr. Abraham J. Froman

Analysis Shows Hardee's New Offering Fit for Mustached American

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Our weekly dispatch from the nation's foremost mustache expert.

The leadership of the American Mustache Institute (AMI) continues to comb the spectrum of consumer product offerings across the globe, offering, where appropriate, a 'Stache Scale Analysis for the betterment of the Mustached American community. (You might recall a recent review of Gillette's Fusion ProGlide Power Razor.)

This time, we dispatched AMI chairman Dr. Aaron Perlut to a Hardee's (Carl's Jr., for those of you west of the Mississippi) in downtown St. Louis to sample and review the fast food chain's new hand-breaded chicken tenders.

Check out the video below the jump for the mustached verdict:
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Aug 4th 2010 By Dan Solomon

From the Mafia to the Hells Angels -- What It Takes to Go Undercover

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Serving as an undercover agent sounds thrilling -- creating a fake identity, running around with criminals, infiltrating secret organizations. But everything we think we know about the trade of being an undercover agent comes from TV and movies.

In order to better understand what it's like to actually work undercover, we asked Jay Dobyns, the ATF agent who successfully infiltrated the Hells Angels (and wrote a book about the experience), and Jack Garcia, who very nearly became a made man with the Gambino crime family, to help separate myth from reality and tell us what it's really like.

Creating a Cover Identity
There are various styles for creating a cover identity, but neither Dobyns nor Garcia suggests treating it like you're rolling up a D&D character.

"Some guys are pure method actors," Dobyns says. "But I was never able to do that. I've always been a what-you-see-is-what-you-get sort of guy. I'd talk to the suspects in the case the same way I'd talk to anybody."

Garcia concurs, for the most part: "I didn't do any outlandish background creation," he says, though entering the Mafia ranks, where most members grew up in the same neighborhood and have long family ties, required some specific details to be in place. "I was supposed to be a guy who just came in from Miami, so I found a cemetery that had a husband and wife with the same last name I was using, in case I was in Florida and the subjects in the case wanted to test me by going to visit their graves."
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Aug 4th 2010 By Nick Romano

Our Favorite Two-Headed Creatures Take Pet Ownership to the Next Level

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Between the proliferation of "monkid" culture and the pet python being as common as a keg at a frat party, exotic pets just aren't cutting it any more for those who aim to be truly original.

But Todd Ray, owner of California's Venice Beach Freakshow, opened up a new world of possibility when he bought Pancho and Lefty, a two-headed, six-legged bearded dragon for $5,000.

Keep reading for more two-headed pet options, as well as video footage of the newest addition to the freak show.
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Aug 4th 2010 By Brian Fairbanks

Woman Uses Her 38DD Breasts as Paintbrushes

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Forget the Andy Warhol Museum in Pittsburgh or the Matisse exhibit at the MoMA in New York: The true art destination this summer is between Kira Ayn Varszegi's giant boobs.

Varszegi has been on the scene for years, painting and selling the results on eBay, asking fans to join her for a multiplayer game of "Modern Warfare 2" and generally keeping to herself -- that is, until The Sun newspaper got in touch.

The now-34-year-old artist, who paints exclusively with her size-38DD breasts, isn't all that surprised with the sudden attention. As she tells the press, "I think my art raises more than a few smiles." It also raises Varszegi a decent living in her Hartford, Conn., home studio: reports indicate her abstract art earns her about $527 a job.

Sadly, she's been married to a lucky boob-lover since 2008. But you can still snatch up her paintings from her website. Or you could keep reading for photos and video of our favorite artist in action.
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