I’m not sure ‘My mullet allows me to shoot diplomats’ is the best message you want to send to your cubical neighbors. Mullets aren’t even ironically cool anymore.

If you spent your Labor Day doing anything besides building a town-razing monster, then you might want to reevaluate your life’s priorities.

Faced with a Sisyphean PR battle, the DMV decided to win back the American public by sexing things up a bit. Early reports indicate their efforts have been…stimulating.

…and/or lack of pants ‘situation.’

Aw, Keanu, just go unwrap the gold foil off your chocolate Oscar and munch on that. You’ll feel right as rain.

If only recycling gave me monster abs and an epic beard…

Get out the torches and pitchforks, everyone – the printer is threatening the townfolk again.

With USB 2.0 transfer speeds, you’d think he wouldn’t look so constipated.

Plus it makes the one-legged guy in accounting super jealous.

So we’re back to the hunter-gatherer phase then? Good luck with that bow – I hope you’re prepared to disappoint your hungry, shivering family.