Filed under: Drama Mamas

Dodge the drama and become that player everyone wants in their group with the Drama Mamas. Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are real-life mamas and experienced WoW players -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your server. We're taking your questions at dramamamas@wow.com.

Before I show you the letter this week, I'm going to fully disclose my sympathies here. First of all, I can't stand high-maintenance players. Questions about things? Yes, please. But "ne1 help me?" over and over (particularly if it's something above your level) means a polite warning followed by a gkick if not heeded -- also mockery about the use of "ne1." Ask once for help on something and if no one answers, it's not that they didn't hear you. It's not that they are mean and unhelpful. It means they are too busy with their own fun to help you at this time.

On the other hand, I totally feel the pain of being married to someone with a different playstyle. The Spousal Unit is an accomplished raider. I'm an altoholic casual who is increasingly more and more RP-curious. We used to have wonderful times playing SWG and CoH together. But we have rarely been able to match up our playstyles since we moved to Azeroth. Mostly I blame him, fairly or unfairly, because he won't make a WoW duo with me. Jack and Jane Blaze were so fun! /sigh But it takes two to tango. And if he would rather go line dancing with his raider buddies, then I either need to get a pair of purple cowboy boots or see if I have better success convincing him to do the hustle. Tired of dancing around the drama? Then turn the page.

Drama Mamas Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are experienced gamers and real-life mamas -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your server.

We love updates! We've already heard back from the writer of last week's letter, Hacking a friend's account.

Hi, I recently sent in an email to the Drama Mamas; it was the "hacking a friend's account" one. Just sending this in to say thanks, he gave me a ring today, I manned up and answered it and probably wouldn't of done if not for you. We made up, both said sorry and I gave him his password back.

So all's well that ends well -- and sticking with a common theme, an end to situations that have no place in our game is what's on tap this week, too. The topic: racism and hate speech. (Before we begin: Standard warning for comments -- we'll be removing those that veer off the subject of handling racist hate speech in game, so please stay on topic and keep the language civil so we can have a productive conversation.)

Drama Mamas Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are experienced gamers and real-life mamas -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your server.

It was really hard to choose from the many dramalicious emails we got this week. So much drama, so little time. I'm happy we have so many topics to choose from, but sad that so many of you have to go through so many dramafied situations. This one really did stick out as pretty dramarific, however. Dramarily! Drama-lama ding dong! Dramastified. OK, I'm drama-done. Turn the page for all the dramaness.

Drama Mamas Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are experienced gamers and real-life mamas -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your server.

Sometimes there are good reasons that people don't make the same choices as you do. What you might consider to be a perfectly reasonable rationale for jumping ship and moving to a new guild sometimes holds no water for someone who's rowing a different direction in another dinghy. This week, the Drama Mamas take slightly different tacks with a reader who thinks her friend is lost at sea.

Dear Drama Mamas,

Back in January, I left a guild that I'd been an officer of for years. I left because due to internal personal issues, many of the guild members had grown apart and all that was left was myself, the GL, and one other person. In addition, the GL joined with a raid that one of her friends ran which effectively destroyed our own guild's raids. However, since then I've kept in close contact with the guild members who had left before me even though they don't speak with each other. I'm not concerned with trying to reunite the old gang because some of their issues are just too large for a game to erase.

My issue is this: the old guild leader and I are great friends which has carried over to RL. She still keeps her guild even though it's effectively dead and only has one active member. The people she surrounds herself with in-game are not good for her, however. She raid that she runs with creates a huge amount of stress for her, especially the raid leader that is simply a giant jerk. She's slowly losing her love for the game due to these people that she's begun running with.

Dodge the drama and become that player everyone wants in their group with the Drama Mamas. Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are real-life mamas and experienced WoW players -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your server. We're taking your questions at dramamamas@wow.com.

Before we go into today's touchy topic, I just want to be clear that we are assuming all people involved are of legal age and in good health. If that is not the case, then that's a whole other issue entirely. We don't condone underage drinking or illegal activities of any kind. And now that I have piqued your interest, let's get right to it.

Drama Mamas Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are experienced gamers and real-life mamas -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your server.

Once upon a time, there was a guild member called That Guy. That Guy was typical of his kind -- abrasive in guild chat, incompetent in raids, seemingly without redeeming value ... Except that the guild always seemed to need him in order to scrape together a full raid group. His GM, the usual enemy of all That Guys in their natural habitat, turned out to be a subspecies that posed no threat to That Guy at all: the Spineless Jellyfish GM. To the horror of guild members, not only did Jelly-Belly do nothing to solve the chaos created by That Guy, but he actually wrapped his tentacles around That Guy and laughed in glee as the guild spun more and more rapidly into a vortex that threatened to suck them all into the briny depths ...

Dear Drama Mamas,

I am in a 25-man raiding guild on a server. We are a decent group of raiders. We have every raiding stereotype you can imagine: the yelling raid leader, the cool-as-a-cucumber DPS, and the always-has-a-strat guy, just to name a few. So as you can see, we are a typical group trying to climb to the top of the server ranking. I have been in this guild since a month after Ulduar released and I have gotten into the flow of people leaving, joining and quitting the game. It felt homey until 5 months ago, when problems started to arise. I have been having drama with one person -- not run-of-the-mill drama, either. Recurring drama.

Dodge the drama and become that player everyone wants in their group with the Drama Mamas. Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are real-life mamas and experienced WoW players -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your server. We're taking your questions at DramaMamas (at) WoW (dot) com.

I think it's pretty much impossible to avoid drama when it comes to divorce. Even if it's an amicable breakup, there are still the issues that caused the breakup as well as situations that must be dealt with as a result of the split. This week, Divorced asks who gets custody of the guild?

Drama Mamas Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are experienced gamers and real-life mamas -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your server.

No one wants to see a good friend move on. Gaming friends seem to come in two varieties: the kind who end up at your side in game after game, across the years ... and those who drift away as soon as your immediate goals diverge. Some of them end up on your Facebook page chatting about the kids, but most fade into obscurity so quickly you find yourself struggling to remember their names. Still, you can't force a good thing, as one Sad Panda discovers this week.

Hi Lisa & Robin, For the last few years I've been playing with a very close-knit group of friends, our play time with each other comes and goes as we go about our ever changing lives, (work, school, non-wow relationships), but we always keep in touch with email, and chat outside of the game. About a year or so ago we had the pleasure of including another person to our group. He's an all around great friend to have, and I think I can safely say for everyone that we've all enjoyed knowing and playing with him.

Now as you know we're in the pre-expansion dead zone right now. Either you're raiding to get to, or finish end game raids, farming for rep / skills / heroics / so on, or you shelve your main(s) and bust out a new toon to level up. I've chosen the latter, I have toons on both sides of the border and have been playing on the Alliance side for some time now and really felt like dusting off my Horde toons. So both my hubbie and I are stomping around with new toons, (and old), on the horde side and a few of our other friends have joined us.

Dodge the drama and become that player everyone wants in their group with the Drama Mamas. Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are real-life mamas and experienced WoW players -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your server. We're taking your questions at DramaMamas (at) WoW (dot) com.

Wives get a bad reputation. We are often portrayed more like evil stepmothers than the helpmates and lovers that we would like to be seen as. Some of us deserve it, from time to time. But often we are just trying to be the voice of responsibility in the face of a spouse who's behaving more like a carefree teen. Supervisors and guild leaders are also put in uncomfortable situations, where they are forced to be The Bad Guy in order take care of their responsibilities. This week, we mamas put on our stern caps and wag our fingers a bit more than usual. But we really hope things turn out well for the letter writer and those he interacts with.

Drama Mamas Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are experienced WoW players and real-life mamas -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your server. We're taking your questions at DramaMamas (at) WoW (dot) com.

Text communication is a touchy creature. The simplest of situations can spiral out of control in the space of a single chat pane, when players blunder along without considering the disparity between the words they've actually typed versus the message they intended to communicate. We all know how easily humor (and especially sarcasm) can fall flat on the internet. Emotes and the oh-so-snappy "LOL" seem especially prone to offending others who aren't on the same wavelength. Disaster strikes when players stop reading and start reading into what others say.

This week, we'll help several players who find themselves caught up in a web of pride, honor and misrepresented intentions -- all over a loot situation that would have been simple to resolve with clear communication.

Dear Drama Mamas, As a priestess who is devoted to the Light, I follow a flock where I make sure that everyone is happy and content. A few moons ago, I had gone on an adventure with several of the flock to the Halls of Stone, where we faced off against the Titan's creations and helped Brann Bronzebeard find out about the mystery of the dwarves. When we had finally retaken the Forge of Wills, we had found a weapon in possession of Sjonnir the Ironshaper, The Fleshshaper. Oh, what joy our rogue companion felt when we had finally gotten the weapon for him. Alas, that joy was suddenly shattered, as the other priest of our troupe had rolled his need dice accidentally. Our companion rogue burst into a fury like Ragnaros the Firelord, spewing out his frustration upon our dear priest, who had simply laughed off the whole affair.

Dodge the drama and become that player everyone wants in their group with the Drama Mamas. Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are real-life mamas and experienced WoW players -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your server. We're taking your questions at DramaMamas (at) WoW (dot) com.

We'll get to the drama in a minute, but first I must talk about the awesome avatars that the awesome Kelly Aarons of Byron and World of Warcraft, Eh? fame has awesomely drawn and painted for us. Awesome. See them after the break.

Yeah, yeah. You want drama. We've got your drama right here. The thing about WoW (and MMOs in general) is that while you may be able to solo through it, the most benefits are reaped by at least a minimum of social interaction. We are answering a letter this week from someone who isn't very friendly but still wants to make and keep friends in Azeroth. Try not to get too distracted by the awesome avatars. Awesome.

Drama Mamas Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are real-life mamas and experienced WoW players -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your server. We're taking your questions at DramaMamas (at) WoW (dot) com.

My husband and I make concept duos. Sometimes we make duos that our friends and guildies follow; an early Horde PvP project turned into an effective reforming of our guild, which wound through the battlegrounds and eventually morphed back into PvE raiding. Sometimes we change courses (a lot). A recent level 50-ish Horde shammy/pally combo turned into an Alliance reroll so we could revisit all the Alliance quests again pre-Cataclysm, which in turn became a reroll when I decided the new mage wasn't as fun as the old pally ... And that's been fun, but we've been feeling pangs about abandoning our rogue gank squad, which stalled out somewhere in Borean Tundra when the shaman/pally bug came calling.

Through all this, no matter how much we end up questing through the same old places, we've learned that it pays to stick together. We tradeskill separately, and we're cool about class-specific quests, but we try to stay neck in neck on quest progression. The whole point, after all, is to do all this crazy stuff (our current pre-Cataclysm Loremaster/Explorer quest-gasm) as a team. That's what makes it fun.

But we didn't always know that. We used to get impatient if one of us didn't feel like logging in that night. We used to oh-so-innocently run up "only three levels" ahead of one another. We used to get so swept away with the thrill of the XP hunt that we forgot that the point was to accomplish it together.

Dear Drama Mamas, Someone I thought was a good friend agreed to leveling a druid with me in preparation for the oncoming expansion. The plan was to get to 80 as quickly as possible, then realm transfer to a PvP server and do what we could in terms of PvP success. Then once Cataclysm was released and the feature became available, we would race change to Worgen, then work our way up the ladder again, our feral/resto combo hopefully unmatched.

Dodge the drama and become that player everyone wants in their group with the Drama Mamas. Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are real-life mamas and experienced WoW players -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your server. We're taking your questions at DramaMamas (at) WoW (dot) com.

Captain Obvious says that communication within guilds is a very good thing. But as we've seen before, sometimes too much communication can cause more drama than keeping quiet. It is smart to anticipate problems and make preparations in case they occur. But is thinking the worst of people the same as proactive problem-solving? When thinking ahead to avoid trouble, it is usually a good idea to examine your own motives and see if any prejudices are lurking that color your viewpoint. If it's possible that envy or disapproval are clouding your judgment, it is usually best to keep your mouth closed and your eyes open. I assume the best about this week's letter writer's motives for wanting to prevent drama in his guild. But in this case, motives are irrelevant to the possible drama bomb that would explode from an invasion of privacy.

Dodge the drama and become that player everyone wants in their group with the Drama Mamas. Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are real-life mamas and experienced WoW players -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your server. We're taking your questions at DramaMamas@WoW.com.

Burnout burns (yeah, we see how that word works), but guilt grinds. We've talked about burnout here before. The only way out is -- well, out. But when your friends and guildmates still want to dive into the surf, how do you handle the guilt of leaving them high and dry?

Dear Drama Mamas: Since the beginning of Wrath, I've been the main tank of my guild. It's what I've always done and I've really enjoyed it. I MT for two raids, one being a very casual 25-man (only 7 bosses in ICC) and the other being a 10-man that's a bit more hardcore (did Alg in Uld, various raid achievements, downed LK, etc.). I've enjoyed both raids very much for different reasons. The 25-man is very laid back, with many of my friends, and the 10-man sates my need for challenging progression.

Recently, the leader of our 10-man decided to call it quits for awhile, just to take a break from WoW before Cat. is released. Not a problem for me, in fact, I've also been feeling a bit of WoW burnout and also thought it the perfect time to take a break. A few others in the 10-man also felt the same way. So no hard feelings there.

The problem is my 25-man raid. I've been one of the anchor members for a while and have helped out quite a few other tanks that have come and gone. I've also been told repeatedly that the raid performs horribly when I am not there. In fact, I almost left this raid once before when I was recruited for a much more hardcore raid but was convinced by many of my friends to stay on.

Dodge the drama and become that player everyone wants in their group with the Drama Mamas. Lisa Poisso and Robin Torres are real-life mamas and experienced WoW players -- and just as we don't want our precious babies to be the ones kicking and wailing on the floor of checkout lane next to the candy, neither do we want you to become known as That Guy on your server. We're taking your questions at DramaMamas@WoW.com.

For a long time, I looked at the world as if everything were black and white. A lie is a lie and the truth should be told to everyone, no matter how much it hurts. But through the years, this attitude has not proven itself to be good for getting along with people. Yes, I wish everyone were honest, but that just isn't the case, and sometimes dishonesty really doesn't hurt anyone. While I still believe in taking a stand for what is right, I think it is wisest to save your energy (and the resulting drama) for what is really important. This week, we hear from an honest player who wants to do the right thing.