I work at a college where one of our commuter students lost her house in a fire. She has three children, including a 2 year old. My sister offered to donate my 4-year-old nephew’s clothes that no longer fit. After bagging up the clothes, and explaining that the clothes were going to be given to a little boy whose house burned down, my nephew went and got two of his hot wheels cars. He put them in the bag and said “He can have some of my cars too.” IMMD.

My friend’s dorm has huge windows that face the entrance of the building. It’s a great place to people watch, and we do it all the time. Last night we noticed the downstairs RA leaving the building. She stopped suddenly, looked around to make sure no one was watching, and made an ass-print in one of the snowbanks. She observed her handywork, and went on with her evening. IMMD

I wasn’t feeling so well this morning so I stayed in bed a little longer. My 5 year-old nephew came for his routine morning visit and went straight to my room. As he saw me lying in bed, he started singing and dancing ala Michael Jackson. “Auntie are you okay, Auntie are you okay, are you okay Auntie.” IMMD

I was having a very stressful day with my three children when I texted a friend to ask what I could do about them. He replied “Chloroform if you like them, cyanide if you don’t!” I laughed so hard that IMMD!

When I was staying over at a friends house at 3 o clock at night, we heard a car honk the “mexican hat song” in the distance. It Made Our Night.

The other day in the dressing room of a clothing store, I overheard a mother was trying to convince her daughter that being “fluffy” didnt make the dress her daughter wanted fancy enough for a wedding. The mother’s logic? “If fluffy were fancy, Lady GaGa would be gorgeous.”

On the bus in Egypt, while passing some camel statues:

Dad: “Look Sarah, camels!”
Girl: “Yeah, but why aren’t they moving?”
Dad: “They’ve been trained to stand still by the Authorities of Tourism. They are amongst the elite of the not moving camels.”
Girl: “Oh…”

IMMD

I’m an artist working on a mural at an elementary school. The other day, i heard someone calling, “Hurry up, guys!” and turned to see a Mom walking calmly along with two little kids wearing cardboard boxes on their heads. The little girl walked right into a post, bounced off, and kept on going. Such is life in the land of 5-year-olds.

The other day while picking up a friend I had been talking to for years but had never met at the airport, my nerves were getting the best of me. I sat down outside of her terminal and looked up at the ceiling only to be greeted by a stray smiley face balloon about 40 feet in the air, dancing along the ceiling. IMMD

While driving around town in my niece’s car, her 3 year old son was talking on a toy cell phone in the back seat. We stopped at a light and promptly heard him say, very seriously, “Hey I’m gonna have to call you back. My phone’s dying”. IMMD