musings on mafias

March 26, 2010

i got to go to St Mary’s today.  It is an idyllic campus on the Maryland peninsula, where i drove today to give a couple of presentations on Village in the Sky (VIS) and one on polyamory.  It has always been my hope that this honors college would be a feeder school for Twin Oaks and Acorn, a number of friends of mine are graduates (Gpaul, Heather, Tim, Jon/Goat, Stephanie).  I was just bopping in for a day, but the larger group we sent (Keyvah, Gpaul and Jon) had done a number of  classes and presentations on our communities.

For years now i have been calling this group and others affiliated with it the St Mary’s Mafia.  And while it is quite different from contemporary organized crime, i like to believe that the Cosa Nostra would be happy to be affiliated with this group which builds rogue tree houses, run renegade seed businesses and sends troops off to Burning Man.

Mafia Family Tree

i was painfully reminded by the low attendance at the VIS workshops that i depend on good logistics organizers, often lovers of mine like Keyvah or Hawina or Sara to help manifest these events well.

But the polyamory workshop was well attended and one participant was interested in how poly family works.  I only briefly told him about what i think is one of the most important the success story of my life.  The vignette goes like this:

Adult: “Hey Willow, i understand you have two dad’s.”

Willow: “Yeah, i guess i lucked out.”

A little family discussion


Proust’s parlor game

March 24, 2010

When we developed co-empowerment, we were looking for big questions.  We thought that by asking brilliant questions in clever sequences, you could tease out core truths and thru this manifest personal power and healing.

Some years later i become aware of this annoying successful memetic structure which was the facebook  “25 random things about me” postings.

And somewhere happily towards the big question side is the StrangeTango list of parlor questions popularized by the French critic and author Marecl Prousts, who thought and wrote deeply about self reflection.

Question 19 is What do you consider your greatest achievement?

And i thought about this for a while i wrestled between FAIRE (an anti-nuclear summer training program that taught east European activist English and campaigning skills which graduated a couple dozen amazing organizers over a couple years) or the Clean Energy Brigades (which provides low cost weatherization of thousands of working class homes also in eastern Europe – team Obama mimicked it in the stimulus package).

But as i thought these proud success more, they felt too localized and fleetingly isolated events.  And what is really more amazing is that i have had mostly continuously successful polyamorous relationships for about 30 year [And a few colorful disasters]

And perhaps more broadly, i am proudest of the number of people i have brought the ideas of anarchism, the lifestyle of polyamory, the culture of paganism and the home of community.  What i hope it will be is a collection of self replicating funological experiments.

And while i have been finishing this entry, there has been a glorious little cuddle pile unfolding before me on the couches of the Tupelo main living room.  And finally, i get to hop in and have some wonderful intimate conversations with new and old house mates.  Ending bleary at 3:15 AM.  This is the life.

who are you?


My Guru

March 18, 2010

One of the key attributes of a guru is that they give the right answer to the wrong question.

I was walking with WIllow (age eight) today and threw out as idle conversation “Do you have a favorite day fo the week?”  Immediately upon uttering it i realized that it was a poor question, it required choosing probably inappropriate favorites in the very complicated schedule of my sons life.  He being perhaps cleverer than me replied.  “No.  But i have a favorite season.  I want it to be summer.  I want to climb our mulberry tree and sit on the branch and eat fresh fruit with my checks puffed out like a chipmunk.  I cant wait.”

Trying to get Hayden out of jail - DC Climate Protest 2009

The other mark of a guru is that they can advise you of the lense thru which you might see the world.

I make a lot of snacks for Willow. This has been something of a stretch from me, in that my culinary skills are poor to say the least (rumor has it my last three dinners are all superfund sites).  So i was making him a PB & J sandwich in the Llano kitchen, while he was contemplating becoming a kitchen stocker as one of his community jobs.  As i often do, i stole a few bites of his food.  He directed me to eat the crust which he was slowly eating first.  “To save the best part for last?” i asked.  “Of course” he replied and then added “You are supposed to say ‘How Dutch’” [Willow's mom is Dutch.]


Virtual Jump

March 16, 2010

i like to think of myself as a contemporary kind of guy.  i design next generation social networks in my spare time, for crying out loud.  But i have to admit the i had some resistance to the digital high end when Audrey Dolar Tejada contacted me about being part of  Strange Tango.com. The description of the project was a bit wild even for me

Strange Tango haunts the boundaries of digital streams and visceral storytelling, where pixels and dreams flow together. Video, reportage, and nonlinear narrative meld in captured moments from the life of A.D. Tejada, artist – traveler – citizen of the world.

Which from my observations means they have a pretty snazzy biographical blog.   But i felt intimidated the way i stilldo when i go to a museum and dont understand why these great paintings are so amazing or when i walk into to a fancy hotel aware of my outsider presense.  Yet as Nathan from Dancing Rabbit Community is fond of telling me, many solutions to our numerous problems are accessible thru strategic internet placement.  So i am in.  i will try to do an interesting enuf guest column to manifest a lead geek or some other things we need for this project.



Tiny Dancer

March 14, 2010

i live in a large building called Tupelo.  It houses 17 communards and is something of an architectural marvel in my mind.    There are 4 living rooms, which is nice, but what is precious is that the main living room is isolated from all the bedrooms in the building by at least two doors and a hallway.  This means you can have a full fledged party raging in the main LR and everyone can sleep with minimal disturbance.  So it was last night.

Marilyn has interned and guested  several times over the last few years.  Apparently, everytime before this one there had been a dance party during her visit.  When Trout heard that she was about to break her streak by leaving without a dance party, he did what any self respecting funologist would do.  He organized one in almost no time.

Tupelo was adorned with a giant spider web, lights aimed towards disco balls and the cuddle loft was cleaned up and prepped.  The party started late by Twin Oaks standards, because there had been a recital earlier in the evening.  But Willow and i went up at what we thought was on time to find a beautiful set up and no dancers.  Undeterred, my son started swirling to the music on the dance floor provided by Sabine.  If he did not need other dancers, i thought i could jump in to.

Susan Posey, Willow and myself at Robert and Theas wedding

It is impossible to be a parent in community and not contrast your own upbringing with that of your child.  Self consciousness and social pressure keep people off dance floors.  My son, in this setting appears unaffected by these forces (very unlike me when i was growing up).  He jumps and kicks and does ninja moves and leaps onto me with an air of liberation i find enchanting and inspiring. Even when the dance floor gets crowded, with no other kids in sight, he continues on.  Sometimes with me carrying him, sometimes running amongst the other dancers, sometimes collapsing on the floor for dramatic effect or perhaps just for fun.


Leaving East Wind

February 27, 2010

i often say that East Wind is like the wild wild west, both in the good and poor ways.  There is a pioneering experience, the land and conditions are harder.  There is more freedom and there are also more chances to get in trouble.  And the more i come here, the more i appreciate it.  Yesterday Zeke ran a crew that did a controlled burn, which was wonderful.Pilgrim, Zeke and Quinn - super heroes of the burn

For the full collection of Will’s photos click here.  Quinn made fun of me as a city boy who had never done anything like this.  I am happy to be teased if it is helping advance my pet revolution.


Background Propaganda

February 25, 2010

Dearest Reader:

So i got this shiny new blog.  Not to be confused with my largely functional old blog at butthedevil.blogspot.com. This new blog will be a proper superset of the old blog starting from now.  So if you want it all from me, come here.

To be completely frank i am moving to wordpress mostly because Robin from Casa Robino in Am*dam sort of suggested it.  Robin is clever and i love my interpretation of his digital nomadism And it is probably better to move away from a Google format.  And i love the that the reader counter is built right into the dashboard, which i know for the VIS website on WordPress.

I thought i would include in this initial post an old piece of writing of mine, which the Commonwealth Attorney in my trial last month tried to use as evidence i had terrorist inclinations [hey and that is after i edited out the really dicey stuff.]  If this does something for you than i would invite you to comment on this post and come back regularly.  if you read this and feel weird and uncomfortable, then i am happy.  But you should probably not bother to return.

Paxus at East Wind

26 Winter Wonderland 10

why i am an anarchist

anarchism is the ultimate intellectual and ethical high wire act without a net.  it starts with rejecting the principle extant political institutions and dominant paradigms – but to get very far you need to build something. you need not build based on great thinkers of the past (tho some are available).  you can go where you find your passion and create something based on what you experience as true.  it is a broad anti-orthodoxy and thus everyone has their own slightly different personal flavor.  this is mine, i hope you like it.

i share.  perhaps the greatest challenge to the dominant political models is the idea that you do not have to possess things exclusively. widespread change in only this cultural value could result in a far more economically just world, using the same or fewer resources. i own little myself and live in places where material things are held in common.

anarchism deals with more than just the physical. feminism is about sharing power. it is training people to listen, helping the quiet find voice, flattening hierarchy and finding consensus – this is the beginning of building justice.  i like the adage that anarchism is the philosophy and feminism is the practice.

polyamory is sharing lovers – i do not claim sole rights to my intimates, and they as well have other lovers. i find it a great poison that intimacy should be locked up and made exclusive. it is the commodifcation of love. some of the hardest work of my life has been moving thru jealousy,  balancing time and establishing clear communication.

radical spirituality is about sharing the planet with all of its life forms and respecting their rights.  as pagans we seek to build relevant rituals. we explore how to move symbols and create meaning.  this is the reclaiming of magic from the scientists and spirituality from the church. it also dovetails with environmental politics and the development of the connection to things greater than the self. these are the critical extensions of our language and culture we need to evolve.

i am a communard – i choose to live in an intentional community, where we work and live together, sharing income and resources, we build our own buildings, grow much of our own food organically, we don’t use money internally. there are basically no locks, no tv and virtually no crime. it is far from utopia – we have little shared vision, for example – but it is working model of what can be.

anarchism is embracing flexible strategies in face of structural dilemmas. a central example is the prefigurative politics versus the “length of the fuse” debate.  it is intellectually attractive to say “we will limit the tools we use now for social change to the ones we want to still have in our new society.” violence and property destruction are the tactics most often excluded by this reasoning.  the length of the fuse argument is “if you are running out of time to change things you need to use fast tools”. sadly, prefigurative approaches are generally slow.  the resolution is that there is no fixed strategy – the workers (or activists) decide, the people who are on the scene  at the relevant time make the choices. it was a pacifist who convinced me that violence played a central role in ending nuclear construction in Germany. when you are looking at preventing thousands of years of uncontrollable toxins, can you risk failure because you could not reach consensus on strategy?

i smuggle – borders are perhaps the most offensive static structure of the state.  i had the good fortune to help smuggle 3 tibetan monks across a thousand miles of the himalayas and into Nepal to see the Dalai Lama. i have carried banned documents and other contraband.  i’ve gotten caught a few times, but i’ve been lucky and made it thru basically unscratched.

i am a lobbyist – i have run thru the halls of parliament and congress trying to get elected officials to behave as i thought they should.  i am not especially good at it, but i have been the best available. simply because we can see that a governmental system is corrupt does not justify failing to engage with it. we have more tools than protest.

i am a propagandist – i don’t believe i or we have any monopoly on the truth – i have debated ideologues and i know they are sure they are right as i think i am in my most arrogant moments.  we have an obligation to put out our beliefs brilliantly and we need to remember that we are trying to sway people to think like us, not because we know we have a better way, but because we believe we do.

i’m an outlaw – i shoplift, counterfeit, trespass, destroy property, break and enter, hop trains, panhandle, violate curfews, copyrights and security clearances, trade on the black markets, tax resist, enter and exit countries illegally, black ride (ride without a ticket), lie to the police, default on credit cards (for $50K), forge signatures, falsify visa’s, hitchhike, cut handcuffs, leak state secrets and don’t wear seat belts (for somewhat crazy reasons). i wish i could say all of this has been done for the greater good and to advance the revolution – in fact some was self serving and some just frivolous. But i certainly don’t start from the place of assuming laws are right – this is the anarchist prerogative.

i am a life style terrorist. someone who asks uncomfortable questions to people who are comfortable, about what they really need and what they can contribute.  of course this is only credible from a place of doing it yourself and is best served in a humorous and non-dogmatic way. when visiting people we don’t really know my dutch lover Hawina and i try to be “ambassadors from where we want to come from”. this is about pushing the positive aspects of our lifestyle choices, hoping to inspire folx to try to do more progressive political work.  This can be as small as recycling and using mass transit to as large as quitting your corporate job and running campaigns or moving to a commune.

i am a clown – my favorite fairy tale ends with the line “don’t take yourself too seriously”.  i make a point to remember jokes and riddles and try to make people laugh.  i don’t believe things are so bad we can’t make it without humor. similarly, one of the things i like the most about my community is that we strive to be a great audience – anyone willing to get up and perform is highly appreciated. i have watched it change the self confidence of our kids and improve the overall quality of our cultural life.

i travel. i have hitchhiked on sail boats from mexico to australia, trained across europe and asia, crossed the atlantic on a polish tramp ship, worked briefly on the north slope of alaska and the bottom of the ocean near hawaii. years ago i quit flying, for energy and environmental reasons, but i continued to travel more than most people i know – i am writing this on the train across the US. i have had to change my perception about the importance of the time spent traveling – correspondingly, i make fewer but longer trips.  but i have basically stopped going to places where i don’t know anyone – this is the difference between tourism and traveling. i strive to  discover the culture thru the eyes of people who live there, rather than a guide book.

i raise funds – money is an oft necessary great evil. i learned how to make it come towards projects and campaigns which were important.  i never escaped the feeling that there was something wrong with this solution, and my ego did unhealthy flops around successfully finding money.  when i was doing this a great deal, it felt best to be homeless, without salary and living very cheaply.

anarchists seem to be either of the individualistic/loner type or cooperators looking for allies.  i am always looking for allies. the success of the recent World Bank and WTO protests has been the ability of divergent groups to put aside their differences long enuf to come together to make an effective mass protest.  globalization and these oft media-invisible institutions which drive it are now the subject of popular debate and they can not continue unchanged. we are a long way from closing them, but debt cancellation is gaining momentum and the WTO fast track seems derailed – both good things.  anarchists were central in organizing these actions and building these broad coalitions. and there are lots of other types of alliances – my wordsmith lover jazz edited this piece … almost every project of significant scale is a collaborative effort, and many which fail simply did not gather the right allies.

i am an organizer.  there are several key differences between an organizer and a leader.  the first is that no job is too low for an organizer. they are self aware enuf to know what they can teach and humble enuf to know there is still lots to learn.  always pressed for time, good organizers don’t get stuck and don’t overwork problems. they replace themselves before they leave work undone (something i have often failed in) and they are most generally invisible to the eye of fame.

in a tiny train station in Czechoslovakia i helped a man buy an international ticket and we got to talking.  he told me he had the best job in the world, traveling from place to place telling stories.  After listening to one of his stories and thinking about this for a while, i decided that it was a wonderful and important job and have been working on my storytelling ever since.

i am an optimist – if the anarchist principle is that “you can do what ever you want, but you must take responsibility for it” and you believe the new age principle of “we create our own reality”, then we have an obligation to be optimistic – or else we are creating the wrong reality.  For seven years i lived in eastern europe working with small anti-nuclear groups against the most powerful corporations and the state.  i was constantly reminding them that it was groups exactly like theirs which had stopped reactors around the world.  it is as papa chomsky so well put it

If you assume there is no hope you guarantee that there will be no hope.  If you assume that there is an instinct for freedom, that there are opportunities to change things, there’s a chance that you may contribute to making a better world.  that is your choice.

i am in the hope business. and that is why i am an anarchist.

[this article has been edited]