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Adam Sandler concerned his baby voice may wear thin after 150 more movies
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The unspoken rules of ATM behaviour were blithely
disregarded yesterday, as public relations consultant Jerri Cuthbert, 23,
withdrew a total of $210 from various bank accounts during what onlookers
described as "a complete disregard for her fellow man". "I don't know how she
was raised," said disgruntled queuer Nick Mendes. "But I was always taught not
to waste everyone's lunch hour with on-screen account balances."
The federal government's $53 million anti-bingeing campaign
has had an inspirational effect on teenagers, psyching them up to get together
and drink large quantities of alcohol. Year 10 student Wayne Greer has spoken
on behalf of his peers: "Flickering lights, wasted chicks everywhere and a
punch-up on the street – if tonight is half as messy as that ad, I'll be
stoked."
More than 5000 men and three women, clutching dog-eared
rulebooks and dice, have gathered outside Dungeons & Dragons creator
Gary Gygax's Wisconsin home this
week, after learning the American game designer had died at the age of 69.
Although official reports have blamed a heart attack, archmage Mordenkainen is
claiming responsibility and demanding experience points for the kill.
