“If I had my life to live over again, I would have made a rule to read some poetry and listen to some music at least once a week; for perhaps the parts of my brain now atrophied would thus have been kept active through use.
The loss of these tastes is a loss of happiness, and may posssibly be injurious to the intellect, and more probably to the moral character, by enfeebling the emotional part of our nature.”
– Charles Darwin
“Then the dead, hot, pale air breathes on my face again. He could fix it alright, if he just would. And he dont even know it. He could do everything for me if he just knowed it. The cow breathes upon my hips and back, her breath warm, sweet, stertorous, moaning. The sky lies flat down the slope, upon the secret clumps. Beyond the hill sheet-lightning stains upward and fades. The dead air shapes the dead earth. It lies dead and warm upon me, touching me naked through my clothes. I said You dont know what worry is. I dont know what it is. I don’t know whether I’m worrying or not. Whether I can or not. I dont know whether I can cry or not. I dont know whether I have tried to or not. I feel like a wet seed wild in the hot blind earth.”
from As I Lay Dying
William Faulkner
“Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you for your patience. Flight 2723 to Atlanta is now boarding and we apologize for the long delay. Also, we’ve just been informed that the lavatories on-board are not functioning, and you’re going to notice that in about two hours. Please use the facilities here before boarding.”
“Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you for your patience. Now boarding business class passengers for Flight 884 to Toronto. To our Business Elite members, please feel free to select any member of the economy class and ride them into the plane like a horse.”
“Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you for your patience. Flight 184 direct to Washington D.C. is now boarding rows 45 through 30. Please be advised, due to mechanical difficulties this flight will not be able to deploy landing gears after take-off and the staff has started a 12-to-1 pool for your safety. Now boarding, rows 45 through 30.”
“Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you for your patience. Flight 683 to Buffalo will be delayed two hours for cleanup crews to finish work due to an outbreak of ebola. The airline appreciates your patience as they continue to investigate the source and has informed us that all passengers will be treated to double frequent-flyer miles and leftover meals.”
“Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you for your patience. Flight 867 to New York is ready for departure and will be piloted by an unsupervised third-grade class as they learn about what it’s like to work at an airport. Now boarding all rows.”
“Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you for your patience. Flight 5290 to Chicago is full of spider monkeys and will be departing on time at gate 22.”
“Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you for your patience. Flight 2749 to Boston will be a live comedy art show with theatre troupes from French art schools. Please be advised that rows 11 through 20 will get wet and rows one through 10 will get REALLY wet.”
“Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you for your patience. Flight 102 to Dulles will be racing Flight 4723! Now boarding all rows!”
“Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you for your patience. Flight 378 halfway to Dallas will be making use of its floatation devices and emergency exits.”