This is the most brilliant, inspiring thing I have ever read. *wipes tear from cheek*

Those colors on the side of that machine look suspicious.

Dude, I'm feelin' that yer gonna want Klonopin in, oh, every OTHER donut or so . . .

Did a quick google search, it's only $99.99 at JCPenny's...

Oh my God that was the funniest thing I've read in a long time. I'm trying to hard not to crack up laughing.

what... the... donut?

Your posts are always inspirational, but this post, in particular, is instantly the "Hamlet" of snarky gadget-blog posts. You, sir, are a true hero. I tip my sweat stained hat to you as I rise out of my worn and creaking chair, only to collapse back into my usual hunched and spider-fingered posture after that brief and shining cathartic moment.

This is soooo much cooler than the smores maker my friend got as a wedding gift a few years back. I don't know if I'd just leave it on display in my house or constantly try offering friends experimental donuts; jalepeno and rasin, ginger curry, peanut butter and bacon bits...

Homer Price, where art thou?

Homer SIMPSON, where art thou?

Oh.......My.........Cosmic Intelligence

Homer Price FTW! I thought my brother and I were the only two people in the world who've read those books!

THAT should have been the copy in the catalog. I may have bought it out of sheer amusement.

Oh, get OVER yourself. It's a fricking doughnut machine, it's not the end of the world.

Geez.

I like donuts. And, post-organic health-hipster issues be damned, I bet you do to.

This device isn't offensive or evil because it makes unhealthy treats. It's offensive and evil, because it preys on those sad, culinarily challenged sods that don't realize that it's reasonably easy to make donuts from scratch without the need for useless, space-wasting devices.

Honestly, the best post I've read in a long long time!

Joel, you are a great American writer.

BXRGuy, it pains me right here in my exquisite literary sensibilities to have to tell you that you missed the point.

Soy loco por los Cornballs!

So here in minnesota, mini donuts are pretty common (especially at the MN state fair where millions are sold every year) and this device is pretty much a less industrial version of the machine used at mini donut stands. I recently went on a trip to Michigan and discovered a man selling mini-donuts. he said that they were a rarity outside of MN and that he had to order everything for his machine (parts, batter, etc) from Minnesota. Is this true? are mini donuts, so great a part of my fried food experience, is something the majority of Americans grew up without? or was the donut salesman in Mackinaw, Michigan feeding us a line to encourage the purchase of his fried confections?

I want a donut, real bad.

I'm sold.

Who would have thought that the Great American Novel would come in at under 200 words?

The semi-industrial machines were a staple of trade shows when I was a kid, even in the UK, and I was always mesmerised by them. And now I can buy my own tiny version. Hmm... I think I'd prefer the full sized model. Maybe it will go in the basement...

I was all proud of myself for skipping the donut this morning after a solid month of Halloween bacchanalia at my job, IN A LIBRARY and now I'm thinking about getting one at lunch. Thanks a lot, Boingboing.

Can you put other things through the machine? I wonder if you could make some delicious pakoras?

@ #19 Anonymous
Michigander here and I can tell you I've never heard of a "mini-donut" before. Donut hole, sure. Mini-donut? Sounds fishy. I say this as I welcome the 5 new Tim Horton's to our area! Honey cruller.....mmmmmmm!

...Hey, those are Krispy Kreme's colors! Anyone care to place bets on when the lawsuit will be filed? :-)

Screw the h8rs, Joel. I'd still bear your children.

Sure, they'd be hideous mutants, but that's not your fault. Pretty well everything I eat comes in a bag and has no sell-by date.

Sign me up!

to the Minnesotan, yes you are probably right that not everyone had these treats as a kid. I never saw a mini donut machine outside of one place in Fulton Fish Market down in NYC and the one we have here in Seattle at Pike Place Market ( also a fish market... Coincidence?). They are definitly an occasional treat as I don't want to die young. But I do enjoy taking our visiting friends there.

America needs Homer Price.

#22: Envious much?

Do-nu-matic?? Come ON! How about the Donut ROBOT (Mark V)!! Now we're talking: http://www.flickr.com/photos/rockster/1819636887/

I'm a little upset that they can't choose a distinct enough typeface so that their machine does not practically say "DOUGH-HU-MATIC".

To be fair, though, I'd buy a DOUGH HU DOUGH HU DOUGH HU DOUGH HU DOUGH HU DOUGH HU DOUGH HU DOUGH HU DOUGH HU DOUGH HU

When did Tycho start writing for Boing Boing?

Love comment #8. Homer Price books are still available in library free bins; I got for my kids--get for yours!

Anyone been to Prague? They used to have an amazing sidewalk mini donut vendor on the main street in the old city, selling what were called doughnutties -- yumo!

I've seen mini-donut machines in Fanuel Hall Market in Boston and at the Big E (New England's equvalent of a state fair). But they are rare. Rare and delicious.

Hiyez.

I truly think this is the most brilliant, profound and moving product review that I have ever seen anywhere on the internet, ever.

The reviewer is clearly sick, twisted, and demented. Just like me, eh?

Seeyez.

First hand experience and review of the Dough-Nu-Matic Automatic Doughnut Machine.

When I saw this on BB I knew I had to get one. The machine arrived a little late but in time for Christmas and was wrapped under the tree. The device was a big surprise when opened and it was decided we would try it out the next day.

First attempt was with the first recipe listed in the instructions "Donut Delights". This recipe used a vinegar and baking soda mixture along with the usual ingredients but that batter did not cook well. The oil seemed to leach into the dough and made for a very greasy donut. Switched from Soybean oil to Canola oil but this did not fix the problem. I measured the temperature of the oil at 325F but my favorite donut recipe calls for 370-380F using Crisco. You're not suppose to use Crisco in the machine so I put a pan on the stove and dropped some of this batter in when the temp was 375F and the dough still did not cook well. I guess I screwed up the batter or this batter isn't so good.

Second attempt a couple days later using my favorite donut recipe did not go well either as the batter was way to thick to drop out of the gravity dough dispenser used in the machine. Professional machines use CO2 or a ratchet and cover to push the dough out of the dispenser. I tried adding more milk and oil to the batter to get the consistency right but I ended up with something too runny. Oh well, let's try again since the kitchens already messy.

Third attempt was with the "Buttermilk Donuts" recipe listed in the instructions. It had ingredients closest to the previous attempt and I hoped I could get the consistency right. The gravity feed donut dispenser is really touchy to get the thickness of the dough just right. Even measuring things exactly may not be precise enough as the flour can be packed in or light and fluffy by sifting which can lead to two completely different results. After adjusting the batter with a little extra milk I was able to get some good donuts out of the machine but the donuts were not as consistent as I wanted. After watching the machine I was able to determine that it closes the dispenser at the same rate it opens it. This results in the donut dropping off the dispenser from one side to the other. This sometimes resulted in a figure eight, stretched or broken donut. I found that if disconnected the automatic drop and I manually controlled the drop with a quick close the donut would drop off correctly all at once and create a nice shaped donut. Also as the dough level in the dispenser drops the time it must be left open to get the same amount of dough increases. The machine always automatically opens and closes the dispenser the same amount every time. The other issue was that the donut would not always cook enough I think this is due to the lower fry temp the machine uses, probably a UL thing or something. It would have been nice to have an actual thermostat on the device so you could set the cook temp or adjust the motor speed. To fix the problem you just keep the top door open and after the donut flipper has flipped the donut you can flip it manually again out of the little conveyor thing at let it catch the next conveyor thing that pushes the donuts along. Each basket can hold one or two donuts. The donut flipper works most of the time if the oil level is good if it's too high or low it doesn't work as well.

After a couple hours we has 10-12 dozen yummy donuts just as the recipe says.

Cleanup is a bit of work as you really cannot clean the inside of the machine well. I ran the machine and a little while longer and removed the conveyor baskets for cleaning. However there is no way to run the motor without the heater so you can only run it a little bit and then let it cool down again otherwise you begin to burn the empty oil pan. It would have been nice if the conveyor could have been independently operated. Also the oil drain has an S curve using a bit of flexible tubing. This got clogged for me with donut crumbs and I had to clean it out using a craft pipe cleaner before I could get it to drain again. This should be a straight drop into the oil pan below so you can just stick something straight down to clean out crumbs instead.

So what's the verdict, it does make yummy donuts just not at automatic and as easy as I was hoping for.

What I'd like to see for version 2.0 in order of preference.

1. Actual thermostat with temp that goes to at least 370F.
2. Variable speed conveyor motor.
3. Remove the S curve from the drain.
4. Dispenser with a quick close.
5. Variable dispenser open time.
6. Dispenser with a ratchet cover or air pump to push dough out.
7. Actually dip the head of the dispenser in the oil each drop to clean the head.
8. Allow me to open the machine and clean inside a bit better.

I can confirm that outside of MN mini donuts are very rare. Even buying a proper ordinary donut dough dispenser is difficult. I still use my great grandma's which uses a manual ratchet and cover to push the dough out.

I hope someone finds this useful.

Whomever wrote the great review of the Do-Nu-Matic automatic doughnut making machine on December 27th 2007, THANK YOU!
I own and operate a Mobile Espresso/Smoothie Bar, and thought that this device would work great to make custom mini doughnuts for my customers who buy latte's, mocha's, cappuccino's etc. from me.
Your review really helped determine if I should invest in one. Since it was the ONLY TRUE review of the machine I have found so far, I did appreciate it. Thanks again.

J.B.
Los Angeles, Ca.

I bought one of these on the weight of this post, sending it to my brother who was expected to get a great kick out of it. He did. He set it up next to the chocolate fountain we sent him last year. Tiny donuts dipped in hot flowing oily chocolate made the party girls swoon.