Comics fan has Phantom pregnancy

Newsletter

Chaser mailing list


Receive HTML?

Chaser Store

Show Cart
Your Cart is currently empty.

Syndicate

Click then cut and paste the URL to subscribe to our RSS feed

Website login

Login
No account yet? Register
Prince William dumps Kate: cites "poor inbreeding" Print E-mail
Friday, 27 April 2007

Image
Kate promised to be the most common member of the Royal Family since Fergie
Prince William has dumped his middle-class girlfriend Kate Middleton, saying she won’t make a suitable royal wife. “Kate was lovely, but ultimately we are from different social circles,” William said. “If I’m going to settle down, I need to find a suitable mother for my children. And, at the same time, a long-lost cousin.”

The heir-in-waiting to the British Crown is confident he will be able to find a suitable mate in his social circle before too long. “There are plenty more fish in my gene pool,” he said.

Many royal-watchers have blamed the breakup on the snobbery of William’s social circle. “Well-bred Englishmen would never dream of marrying so low – Kate’s mother was an airline hostess, don’t you know,” one friend said. “They’d just give them a quickie in the aeroplane toilets and ruin their careers forever, like Ralph Fiennes did.”

Other commentators point out that William may simply be planning to play the field before one day returning to his true love. “Once Wills has sowed his wild oats with the likes of Britney Spears, a few Big Brother contestants and half the cast of EastEnders, his family and friends will come to realise that Kate wasn’t so déclassé after all,” one said.

William’s ex-girlfriend may not be lonely for long. Prince Harry, whose attitude to royal protocol is relaxed to the point of “shagging anything with a pulse”, according to palace insiders, has already invited her to have a threesome with him and girlfriend Chelsy Davy.

For her part, the woman once tipped to be the future Queen is philosophical about the breakup. “If the royal family really were embarrassed by me, this could have been far worse,” she said. “They could have gotten rid of me the way they got rid of Princess Diana.”

(0) Add a comment
 
< Prev   Next >

     

Visit our MySpace page, now with video.

Chaser events