A candidate for the North Carolina Supreme Court called her opponent a "slave returning to the plantation" and then said he was an "uncle Tom" causing such an uproar that the Democratic Chairman has endorsed the Republican candidate. Both the GOP Chair and Dem Chair have called her 'mentally unstable' and asked voters to not vote for crazy in North Carolina. God, I miss the South.

*UPDATE* Did someone for the Rachel for Justice site totally comment saying they tracked our IP address? I can't decipher the retardation in the comment, but if so...track away dorkwads. See comments for explanation of my confusion.

Click the extended entry to see what a dumbass this Dem from NC is. She's running to be a JUDGE, y'all!!

Great, great article.

The link is only active until midnight tonight, so I recommend everyone read it soon.

Whenever I get extremely frustrated with the frustrating extremists in this state, I always remind myself of one thing: at least I'm not in Utah.

I was reminded of this again yesterday, when I read about how the governor had taken down a Spanish-language website which mirrored the state's site. I originally thought some golden plates or seer stones must have told him to do it, but evidently some Utahians Utites Mormons believe the website violates Utah's law designating English as the state's official language. So the guv pulled the site "until its content can be reviewed."

Apparently not everyone was happy:

But critics say Huntsman overreacted to a xenophobic backlash that followed the recent visit of Mexican President Vicente Fox and that continues to be fueled by the immigration reform debate.
...
Michael Clara, Utah Republican Hispanic Assembly vice chairman, said the controversy about the state's Spanish-language Web site "stems from the roots of bigotry ... It's sad that our governor's office succumbs to these extreme views."

At first glance, it looks like the no-Spanish crowd may win here. The Utah Lege wrote a xenophobic law aimed at punishing those without an adequate grasp of English, and this website very well may break that law. Which is fucking retarded.

Let's be clear, the website wasn't dedicated to highlighting the state's excellent and easy-to-access welfare system, the country's porous borders, or the supple white thighs of the Utah females (hi, ladies). Nope - the website had information such as how to renew your driver's license, links to Utah laws, and how to file your tax return. Because if there's one thing that's easy to read in a non-native language, it's for damn sure the tax code.

But, whatever. More hate! More fear! The gays and immigrants and flag burners are coming!

It's an idea whose time has come. Edd Hendee, executive director of Citizens Lowering Our Unfair Taxes, sued Lt. Gov. David Dewhurst, Speaker Tom Craddick, Comptroller Carole Keeton Strayhorn and the Legislative Budget Board.

The lawsuit, filed in Travis County state district court, alleges the Legislative Budget Board has used artificially robust estimates of economic growth to justify high spending limits. The board, made up of Dewhurst, Craddick and other legislative leaders, develops recommendations for state agency appropriations.

Now, me, on the other hand should totally be sued for overstating income projections. I'm working in a serious budget defecit right now and I'm afraid the only way for me to make up the shortfall is to start accepting in-calls. Somebody get me Tom Malin on the phone, I need business plan advice.

Scientology is announcing they will sponsor a NASCAR team. I have so much to say about this, but really...doesn't it speak for itself? I can't help myself, just two words: batshit crazy

An election for Leander's City Council has a 'do-over' election this Saturday. Both candidates for the same city council seat received 320 votes each. How bizarre is that? The new election will be held and each candidate has furiously been trying to call 321 people to try and get them to the polls. I thought this story was so cute. More people voted for me for SGA President in high school than voted for the Leander City Council seat.

Yesterday I read that the Southern Baptist Convention was passing a resolution to create an "exit strategy" for pulling their children out of public schools. First of all, I'd like to say good-riddance. America needs more ignorant and uneducated people to fill the workforce for those jobs that white folks refuse to do now and rely on illegal immigrants to fill. (Not that illegal immigrants are ignorant or uneducated, it's just that is what jobs we seem to put them in. DO NOT WRITE ME AN EMAIL!!). I say good riddance to the Southern Baptist children. They are usually overweight and full of wrong headed ideas and are certainly not helping test scores when it comes to math and science.

Then, today, I read they condemn alcohol. Egads!! That just means the rest of us have to stay drunk to deal with them.

You know what I'd really like to hear just once from the Southern Baptist Convention? I'd like to hear just once about what they are FOR. What do they support? They oppose everything, that hate everything. Where is the love of God's grace on our planet? Why don't they lift that up in prayer and adulation? If you hate everything, oppose everything, how do you find the grace of God in our lives everyday and the bounty the Lord has provided to us?

Just sayin' is all.

"Sorry" seems to have entered the President's vocabulary over the last couple of days. After years of complaints that he never acknowledges any mistakes or accepts responsibility for anything that goes wrong, in the past two days he has said that Guantanamo Bay Prison should be shut down because it's hurt our image and yesterday after he made fun of a dude with a vision problem, he actually called and apologized.

Is this part of his twelve-step program? If so, I'd like a few more apologies. I'll start, you can add your own in the comments.

Things I'd like to hear President Bush apologize for:
1. Starting a war under false pretenses.
2. Continuing a war with absolutely no plan whatsoever for victory or conclusion.
3. Promising to 'reach across the aisle' when elected and then becoming the most partisan president ever.
4. Relying on homosexuals to be the evil go-to demographic when all else fails.
5. Being an overall pompous asshole that just gets on my nerves, especially for his laugh that makes him sound retarded.

Your turn!

The cover of the latest issue of Texas Monthly cracks me up. It also reminds me that PinkDome's Adios Mofo store has exactly what you need for your summer wardrobe!

And other great moments in political theatre...

Jon Stewart talked to Ken Mehlman, the Chairman of the GOP, about strategies and what has gone wrong in the Republican Party. In a bizarre moment of clarity, Ken, slips up and gives us the real truth. Behold:

Jon: Just two guys talking... I have sympathy for you . . . you're the guy that has to spray perfume on these turds. . . What happened. . . you guys became parsers when did that happen?

Ken: I think greed, cynicism, all those things caused us to do it.

Jon: Really, did we get that on camera.

Watch the video at OneGoodMove.

TRMPAC's treasurer, Bill Ceverha, has settled his case with the Democrats and paid them $65,000 as part of a settlement. Whoops! This made me laugh this morning and laughing while nursing a hangover creates a very sharp pain between the eyes. It's the same pain I get when I talk to a stupid person, y'all know what I'm talking about?

This whole TRMPAC thing is just annoying. Now that Tom's been totally destroyed the fun is taken out of it for me. I mean, sure, the speculations that Tom Craddick might get roped into this makes for fun party conversation, but really it's just a sad exposure of the truth that politics is dirty and full of bullshit. Do you know how hard it is to maintain that facade of sincerity and idealism and "I work in politics because my sense of civic duty" is to keep up when you have someone stuffing wads of cash in your underwear late at night while you do tequila shots with a hooker on your arm and...oh sorry, y'all don't need to hear what I was doing last night. This is about the sham of TRMPAC, not me.

Comptroller and 'Grandma' Carole Keeton Strayhorn released a Business Tax Calculator on the Comptroller's site this morning. The results are the same no matter what you type in the field. Strayhorn's bully pulpit of the Comptroller's office is giving her the forum to attack Perry on an issue that resonates with voters across the political spectrum. Her "Taxes are bad" message is a lot easier for voters to identify with than Perry's vague, "Proud of Texas" messages.

It's quite funny, actually, because no matter what the actual truth is regarding the new tax plans whipping people up into a frenzy over taxes is easy. Perry is forced to retreat to the 'shrill attack' and 'Strayhorn is playing politics with the Comptroller's Office" message. It just sounds so weak and pathetic compared to the "Perry is totally screwing you over and not in a good way with his giant tax plan" message.

Aside: Does anyone doubt that Strayhorn's got a bigger dick than Rick Perry?

Charges of baby eating are also currently pending against the two women. Click to enlarge.

Strayhorn ain't got shit on these dames.

Two septuagenarians were arrested in Los Angeles earlier this week on federal charges of mail fraud and submitting false insurance applications. Allegedly, the two women, ages 73 and 75, helped two homeless men get off the street, put 'em up in apartments, bought a ton of life insurance policies on them, and then killed them.

Posing as aunts, fiancees or cousins, they took out numerous life insurance policies on the men, Paul Vados and Kenneth McDavid, with themselves as the beneficiaries, collecting over $2.2 million after the men died in separate hit-and-run traffic cases, the authorities said.

Carole Grandma, you've got to act quick to avoid losing your title as the "tough" grandmother. After all, nothing says tough like purposefully running over people with whom you've developed a relationship over a couple of years.

So I recommend releasing a new policy paper calling for the public clubbing of all baby seals that are present in Texas zoos and wildlife preserves. Not only will you regain the title of "One Tough Grandma," but you'll also rid the state of scores of horrible vermin intent on cornering the market on cute.

Michelle Malkin and Ann Coulter are keeping their names in the news (or at least the liberal blogosphere) this week. Ms. Malkin seems to think that suicide is painless and as for Ms. Coulter, well, she's making the same ass of herself as usual. I visited a Borders bookstore this weekend and was confronted by a huge display with Coulter's new book. I admit I was strongly tempted to turn each book over. But that would have been a waste of time. If people want to spend their money on an unoriginal work by that woman , I'm not going to spend a Saturday afternoon stopping them.

While I'm watching the clock, wondering exactly what time it will be appropriate to have my first drink of the day (I know, it's just 8 a.m.) I'll waste some time playing this game DelayDollars, trying to do a better job of not getting caught taking illegal contributions. Once I am victorious I'll announce my bid for political office here.

Violent crime has made the biggest jump since 1991. Everyone ready for a political science quiz? Ok, pencils ready...Essay question and you have 10 minutes. This is an open-book test, you may use the Internet for reference as long as you attribute your facts.

What political, sociological and economic events have historically resulted in higher crime rates in the United States? (Give examples of each). What characteristics of the recently released crime statistics are not attributable (sp?) to historical trends?

Best answer wins a copy of the book, Foxes in the Henhouse: How the Republicans Stole the South and the Heartland.

Turns out Karl Rove will not be indicted in the CIA leak case. Other reports indicate that Mr. Rove is, indeed, still a prick.

We often explore the greatness that is YouTube video and now Rep. Anchia sends us a video from the TDP Convention. (BTW, He's on MySpace. We totally asked him to be our friend.)

Get this video and more at MySpace.com

I can't believe I'm saying this, but WOW Fox News anchor Julie Bandera couldn't even tolerate the hatemonger Shiley Phelps-Roper and let.her.have.it! Via.

Julie Bandera, "If you think America is doomed, why don't you get out?"

Via Think Progress, I came across a New York Times article that states the Bush adminstration is currently developing plans to keep about 50,000 U.S. troops in Iraq for an indefinite period of time.

How indefinite? According to Retired Gen. Barry McCaffery, it's likely that the U.S. will keep 50,000 to 70,000 troops there for at least the next decade.

The next decade: sounds about right. Correct, Mr. Rumsfeld? Mr. Vice President?

Rumsfeld, February 7, 2003: "It could last six days, six weeks. I doubt six months."

Cheney, March 16, 2003: "I think it will go relatively quickly, ... (in) weeks rather than months."

There's a candidate running for statewide office in Texas who also happens to be a trashy novelist. No their name isn't Kinky, although their sexuality may fit that description. Ladies and Gentlemen, loyal Pinkdome readers, I present to you the brand-spankin-new PinkDome book review club.

Susan Combs, current Ag commish and Comptroller wannabe, wrote a trashy romance novel back in 1990 titled "A Perfect Match." In her own words she says, "It's not great literature." She "spent three months writing it and many years regretting it."

This 222 page paperback features an "exceptionally bright" West Texas woman who worked at the NSA decoding secret messages. The heroine is given a bodyguard once she uncovers a message that endangers the security of her nation and herself. The bodyguard is gray-eyed, handsome, nearby.

Folks, I can't make this shit up.

Oh Susan Combs, I honestly didn't understand you. I always saw you as the towering 6'2" woman in the background of every Republican photo-op, never willing to speak your mind, always mindful that if you stood in lock-step you'd advance up the chain of Republican politics. Little did I know that there was a fiery yearning, bursting forth from your loins, that longed for a fulfillment that was thoroughly un-Republican.

I purchased a copy of the book for $0.75 from Half.com. I encourage all of you to get a copy for yourselves. Each week I'll break down a new chapter from the tawdry sex kitten lioness that is Susan Combs.

Also, I can't take credit for this photo-shop, it is the work of SuperWow!, and yes, that is Susan Combs in Fabio's arms. Hot. And you better believe I'm gonna milk the hell outta this all summer long.

One could look to the World Cup as a corrollary to the Republican campaign machine of 2006. Republicans, desperate to energize their base, were torn between which fear to exploit, xenophobia of Middle Easterns or xenophobia of Mexicans.

Seeing as how the 9/11 thing is sooooo 2001, they opted to exploit people's fear of Mexicans. This battle took to the soccer fields yesterday, in an evil on evil matchup between Mexico and Iran. This base voter excitement fest ultimately ended with Mexico prevailing, just as we saw with last week's Republican convention.

Mexico now advances to play the gays to decide who will get beat up on the most this summer.

(By the way, I think this is the first time we've linked to ESPN. Look at us, all butch and shit!)